Thinking about homeschooling.

Brittany - posted on 09/10/2016 ( 11 moms have responded )

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My newly five year old and when i say new i mean 9/4 of 2016 new. She started school august 31st and loved it by two weeks in she has a fit one day, i had to leave her there crying and she was like that most of the day but chalked it up to its still new but still doesnt want to go and says its boring and there is too many people so I am debating homeschool, yes its kind of giving in to her not wanting to go but i cannot handle her being upset at school ending up in the nurses office becuase she got sick. Im not sure why she all of a sudden doesnt want to go. So please help am i making the right choice or no? any advice or words of encouragement will be great. thanks.

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Dove - posted on 09/12/2016

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More excellent points, Sarah. I was starting to think along those lines after I posted my last comment as well... hence one of the reasons I asked if she went to preschool last year... because if she didn't or if she did and did well in that environment... going there this year might just give her the time she needs to mature enough to be ready for K. ♥

Sarah - posted on 09/12/2016

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Rather than jump to home school, have you considered holding her back a year? If you think she is so stressed by school and the setting, maybe she could do pre-k for a year (or another year). As you pointed out she is just 5. In our district, if you are not 5 before Sept 1, you wait. So that could mean a class with child who turned 5 on Aug. 31 and a child who turns 6 on Sept 1. Personally, my own son was born Sept 5, I was not in a rush to start school so we just waited a year. He is now 20, and i am so glad i did not push him into school a year sooner.
I also work as a school nurse and every single year I start out with kids just like your child. Some get so worked up that they throw up, we have some that wet their pants, some that start licking things (ick), some that hit, some that go mute, stop eating, cry all day. We meet with the parents, principal, and teacher. Some kids adjust, some need to have a shortened day for a time and then do better (we only have full day kindergarten) and some need to go back to a transitional setting (somewhere between pre-school and kindergarten) and come back to kindergarten the next year. Does the benefit of your child being in kindergarten this year outweigh the negatives?

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Dove - posted on 09/12/2016

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I hope you don't think I am being too harsh because I certainly understand how you are feeling and the struggle you are having... ♥

If you are strong enough (I physically wouldn't be) to pick her up and carry her in... do so. Does the school have a guidance counselor she could talk to? Was Friday the first day of this behavior or did it start earlier? Is school the only issue or is she strong willed and prone to freak outs over other things? Did she go to preschool?

Brittany - posted on 09/12/2016

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I couldn't even get her in the car this morning every mention of going to school sends her into a tailspin. I don't mind making her go and leave her crying but how do i even get her in the school to begin with. It would be one thing for her to complain and not want to go and be sad because most don't want to go but the freaking out and flailing really freaks me out and getting her in the school now is practically impossible. I know i am probably overreacting a bit with school but how much is to much?

Dove - posted on 09/12/2016

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She's only been crying at school for a couple of days... not even a couple of days since she only started on August 31 and you said she was fine the first two weeks... it's only September 12 right now. I think you are completely overreacting and freaking out for nothing. This behavior JUST started... kids have off days sometimes.

Brittany - posted on 09/11/2016

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Yes i have asked her why or if anything happened and she says there is too many people I don't mind giving more time to adjust but if shes upset all day crying where she ends up throwing up, it seems harsh especially for three months and if she is spending all her time in the nurses office or principals office and not in the class learning. I ABSOLUTELY told her she has to go and that all kids have to go, i have tried everything and i mean EVERYTHING to make her want to go back Monday. I do understand making her stay if she is only throwing a fit to get out of going but as her mom i do not feel that this is the case. Originally we wanted to home school because there are so many kids per one teacher in our local school, but figured she would be fine to do public school but where she was fine the first two weeks i assumed smooth sailing. I did speak to her teacher and she is clueless, but trying to get a strong five year old into the school kicking and screaming is an issue all in itself. My anxiety is at its max and i don't know what to do. I want to do whats best for her and i dont know if thats making her go even if she is upset or pulling her out and homeschool for a few years for her to be older. Parenting is hard and making the right decision non emotional is hard.

Dove - posted on 09/11/2016

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My son is in 3rd grade and still starts every day w/ an 'I'm not going to school today'. Not going is not an option for him and he knows that very well... but he'll still say it and has since... well, his first year of preschool (so this is his 6th year hating school). He hasn't cried at school since preschool, but he spent the first 6 weeks freaking out every morning and probably didn't start being adjusted til 2-3 months in.

Personally speaking I'd say give it more time. Sure, home school does have some good points to it, but so does being in school w/ other kids. If she did well the first two weeks have you asked her if anything happened to upset her?

Michelle - posted on 09/11/2016

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Have you spoken to her teacher?
Have you actually asked your daughter what is wrong?
Is there another child that hasn't been nice to her?
I think you need to actually find out what is going on rather than just take her out of school.

Brittany - posted on 09/11/2016

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She was fine the first two weeks and had no issues but then she says she doesn't want to go, i'm not sure its just about being overwhelmed and wanting to be home. I sent her friday and she cried when i left which was not normal of her to do when i drop her off and she got sick and i left her at school still and every time we speak of it she freaks. I get what you are saying about her being overwhelmed by why now after its been two weeks , i get its a reality but i feel that homeschooling her is the right thing to do for my child, like a gut feeling this is best for atleast for a little while.

Michelle - posted on 09/10/2016

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Has she been around large groups of children before going to school?
If not then she could just be very over whelmed. That's normal but you need to let her know that she has to go to school.
Speak to her teacher and come up with a plan to help her feel more comfortable. Pulling her out and homeshooling her won't help her.

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