Thinking of Having Another Baby

Shellyann - posted on 11/26/2010 ( 32 moms have responded )

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I'm turning 40 next year and I've been thinking about having another baby.

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Dana - posted on 11/28/2010

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Out of curiosity, Brooke and Vanessa, what would you rather have your mom done, not had you?

Kimberly - posted on 11/26/2010

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If you really want to try, go for it. Talk with your doctor first and discuss the risks involved with having a baby. Women who have a baby over 40 have a higher percentage of having a child born with down syndrome (at age 30 its 1 in 302 and 40 is 1 in 82 women)so you will need to prepare yourself emotionally just in case. Heres something just for a little info about it.
A genetic counselor can help you understand your particular risks and help you decide whether to have genetic testing to screen for or diagnose chromosomal problems or other birth defects. Keep in mind that every woman has a chance of having a baby with problems, no matter what her age.Other than that, if your weight is normal and you have no medical disorders, your risk of complications during the pregnancy is probably similar to that of younger women who are also in good health.That said, the older you are when you get pregnant, the more likely you are to have a chronic disease, such as high blood pressure or diabetes, that may be undiagnosed and can affect your pregnancy.You're also at higher risk of developing certain complications during pregnancy such as gestational diabetes, preeclampsia, placental abruption (in which the placenta prematurely separates from the uterine wall), and placenta previa (in which the placenta lies low in the uterus, partly or completely covering the cervix).What's more, research shows that your chances of having a low-birthweight baby (less than 5 1/2 pounds) or a premature delivery increase with age. Some studies show that older women are more likely to need pitocin during labor, and most studies show a significantly higher rate of delivery by cesarean section.Finally, researchers have found a higher risk of stillbirth and maternal death in women who give birth at 35 or older (though the overall number of stillbirths and women who die in childbirth each year has dropped significantly in the United States in the last few decades). The increased risk of these problems is largely due to underlying medical problems more common in older women. Proper diagnosis and treatment will help reduce the risks for both you and your baby.The biggest obstacle for women age 35 or older may be getting pregnant in the first place. Fertility rates begin to decline gradually at age 30, more so at 35, and markedly at age 40. Women 45 and older rarely get pregnant without some kind of fertility treatment. Even with fertility treatments such as in vitro fertilization, women have more difficulty getting pregnant as they age. They also have more trouble staying pregnant: The rates of miscarriage and ectopic pregnancy go up substantially with age.On the other hand, more women are having babies later in life in the United States than ever before. In the year 2000, the rate of birth among women 35 to 39 years old was up 30 percent from 1990. In women ages 40 to 45, the increase was 47 percent, and for those ages 45 to 49, the rate was an astounding 190 percent higher.If you're considering getting pregnant, see your doctor or midwife for a thorough examination. She'll take a detailed medical and family history of both prospective parents to identify conditions that might affect your pregnancy or your chances of getting pregnant. You can manage many of the risks of pregnancy at 35 or older by seeing your doctor or midwife regularly for good prenatal care.Editor's note: Don't be surprised if you notice differing statistics for the chances that a pregnant woman of a certain age is carrying a baby with Down syndrome.For one thing, many of these babies are miscarried along the way, so the odds change as pregnancy progresses. For example, a 35-year-old woman has a 1 in 250 chance of carrying a baby with Down syndrome at 12 weeks gestation. But the odds go down to 1 in 300 at 20 weeks — which is about when you might have and to 1 in 356 at 40 weeks.These numbers can also vary widely depending on the source of the information. The numbers we use on BabyCenter are from a reference book published by the Fetal Medicine Foundation: The 11 — 14-week scan: The Diagnosis of Fetal Abnormalities, by Kypros H. Nicolaides, Neil J. Sebire, and Rosalinde J.M. Snijders (Parthenon Publishing Group. New York, NY, 1999).

This is just to inform you of the risks not to scare you or anything...You know what works best for you...Good Luck!!!

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MEGAN - posted on 03/09/2015

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Allison - posted on 12/13/2010

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go talk to your doc make sure your all ok and u go for it being able to have children is a wonderful thing and if at 40 u want another then go for it dont let family or friend talk u out of it im 35 i have four kids and my partner has two and we would love one of our own so i say u go for it

Jayde - posted on 12/05/2010

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Having a bub at 40 is a lot more common now than some people think. When i had my daughter in 2009 i went along to the mothers group in my area -there were about 10 of us& there was not ONE of those other 9 ladies who were under the age of 39 & i was 21---I was the one who was out of place. Good luck in your decision :)

Pene - posted on 12/05/2010

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I had my last baby at 40, at home, under water birth. My mom had me at 42 at home and my sister had her first at 38. Go for it. Just find a good ob/gyn/midwife.

Shara - posted on 12/03/2010

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I don't think 40 is old to be having a baby! My grandma had my dad at 47 and my grandpa was 51. They were really old parents, but you are nowhere near that. Lots of women have babies at 40 without any problems at all.

Jennifer - posted on 12/03/2010

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I'm coming up on 40 and am also longing for one more baby... before the baby making years are over. I just want to experience it -- the whole pregnancy/newborn/milestones package -- one more time (I have two children ages 6 and 2).

Mary Beth - posted on 12/03/2010

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I am 41 and have a 5 month old baby girl. I wasn't able to have children till I was 32 so I got a late start anyway and this baby is my third. Yes you are a bit more tired but it was my best pregnancy. Go for it!!!!

Carol H - posted on 12/03/2010

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My daughter just turned 18. She was born when I was 42. We named her Joy and she has lived up to that name all her life. As one who has been where you are now, I say "go for it". It will keep you feeling young!

Julie - posted on 12/02/2010

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I'm 43 and plan on having another one. I have a 3.5 yr old daughter. If it's meant to be it will happen.

Shannon - posted on 12/02/2010

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I cant even imagine having another one at 40. I am 41 and have a 5 yr old and a 4 yr old. I am tired all time. My sister in law just had a boy in September so I get all the baby fix I can stand without having the colic or leaky nipples, sleep deprivation,and diapers to change. Only you know how hard it was on your body and if you want to go through all that again.

Hayley - posted on 12/02/2010

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Totally go for it! Just check with your doctor on the best course of action. They'd know what's best for you.

Misty - posted on 12/02/2010

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Think about it alot. You may be experiencing the empty nest sydrome. If you really want a baby do it!

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Hi. I had my only daughter at 45. Alot of my friends are in their 40's too. I had 2 miscarriages peviously, one at 42. This pregnancy was totally unplanned, well, who expects to get preggers at 44? A good pregnancy apart from gestational diabetes at the latter stages. Sure we have different energy at this time of life, but generally I find I love being an older Mum. Really active in our community, we run the Mainly Music and Playgroup with others. An active coffee group too. I finished my Grad Dip after she was born and begin a Masters next year, a very happy full time Mum. As far as the 'math' goes, well women were having babies in their 40's before the pill, hello! We go to do music at retirement villages now, we look after my disabled Mother now too, so seeing old people is perfectly normal. don't let anyone put you off with the 'math'. Lots of Mums are waiting now, there's lots and lots of us. Go for it, you won't regret it. Do consider the possibilities, and deal with the realities of the percentages around birth defects. But you know what, they told me 1 in 20, I had maternal bloods and ultrasound and the percentage went to 1 in 180 or so, didn't feel the need for an amnio. Even for every 1 in 20, that's 19 of 20 that are okay......good luck.

Jill - posted on 12/01/2010

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Do what you feel is right in your heart. Doctors will shoot statistics at you. Listen to the statistics and in the end it is what is in God's plan, in my opinion.

Stifler's - posted on 11/28/2010

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My boyfriend's dad passed away when he was 23 of cancer and he was only 50-something, 37 when he was born I think. That's not too old and your kids should be fending for themselves by 20 anyway.

Bonnie - posted on 11/28/2010

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I agree with Dana. Honestly, there are so many women in the world who are older than the average and were and are fine. I don't think them passing away earlier in life truly has anything to do with having a baby later on. And it might be tough having to deal with retirement or old age homes when you are young, but at least you have a life that you can live.

Brooke - posted on 11/28/2010

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my mother had me at 37... im 20 now and she has passed away. Think that with age comes more health risks... Are you prepared to leave your child at such a young age.

Vanessa - posted on 11/27/2010

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My mum was 40 when she had me... i'm now 31 and shes 71. luckily shes a young 71! but most of my friends parents are in their early 60's... i'm now dealing with retirement/nursing options for them before i should have to really!

Shellyann - posted on 11/27/2010

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Thank you so much ladies i'm going to take a good look into some of the things that you all have mentioned.

Dana - posted on 11/27/2010

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My advice if you're really serious is to get crackin' at it. Getting pregnant at an older age can sometimes take time, then you've got another 10 months until delivery...

I'm not trying to be negative, it's just that it's not easy for me now to get pregnant as it was even 2 yrs ago.

Eugenie - posted on 11/27/2010

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Hi Shellyann, there are few things in life that you can get done at any age and having a baby is not one of them! If you are healthy, financially stable, and have a great support system, I say go for it! The longer you wait the older you get, the farther apart your siblings will be, and the slimmer the odds of having a healthy baby.

You do not want to be the one to look back later and regret that you did not have another child. I have heard it so many times and it is just so final as there is nothing to be done about it then. I have a seven year old son and I cannot wait to have another child, but the most important ingredients are just not available to me right now. I am not too far from forty and I am working very hard and praying that the right ingredients will become available to me pretty soon.

So, what else is there to say? The big decision is yours! Read the posts here - very informative, check with your doctors, discuss with your husband (family) and follow your heart. Hope you make the right decision for you and your family.

All the best!!!

Laura - posted on 11/27/2010

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Kimberly posts some very useful information to consider. With that said, if you are in good health and have a OB/GYN that you trust and can work with, then it is entirely up to you! Go for it!



One perspective to also think about: Your potential child's. My husbnd's mom was 41 when he was born. Ever since I have known him (almost 20 years!), he has had a fear of "losing" (death) his mother that began when he was a boy. His mom was the oldest mom during his school years and was sometimes mistaken as grandma. To him, as a child, this was an embarassing mistake. My daughter had a classmate who's mom was much older than the rest of the kids' moms and that was a common assumption--she was this boy's grandmother. Be prepared for that!



There is also the family dynamic to consider as well. You mention that this would be "another" child for you but you don't mention how far apart these siblings might be. If these siblings are 5 years, or less, apart in age it won't be too big of a deal. As siblings get further apart, the greater the change in family dynamics with regard to school, activities and the ability to relate to each other. I use the number 5 as a rule-of-thumb because of my sister: Her kids are 5 years apart, the maximum she was willing to have separate them. One of the factors in that decision had to do with school, especially later when her oldest started college. She didn't want to be paying for college for years on end! I think that is a reasonable point to consider, IMO.



Another point to ponder about being an older parent with potentially older siblings: My husband is the youngest of 7, 5 brothers and a sister, with 7 years seperating him from the next youngest--his sister. He was, for all practical purposes, raised as an "only" child. There are 20 years between him and his oldest brother, now deceased. Needless to say, all of his brothers were out of the house when he was little and his sister wasn't far behind. This really effected his relationship with his siblings, especially when he was a kid. As an adult he has developed those sibling relationships, but they are still rather distant because of the age difference. He's not even 40 yet and some of his brothers are talking about retirement! I realize that he is most likely an extreme example of family dynamics that can be effected by age differences in parents and siblings, but it does happen and can have an impact on the youngest member of the family. I think being aware and informed of these types of potential issues can allow you to then develop ways to deal with them well ahead of time! I hope you find this useful and best wishes to you as you make your decision!

Louise - posted on 11/27/2010

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If it's sopmething you want to do then go for it. Just go into the situation with your eyes wide open so visit your GP to discuss your options. It's hard work raising a baby at 40 but alot of fun!

Christi - posted on 11/26/2010

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Go for it! Be sure to check with your doc and see if she thinks you are healthy enough and be sure you know the risks associated with later in life pregnancies. My mom had my sister 9 days after her 40th bday and was a fabulous mother until the day she passed away!

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