Mayra - posted on 12/30/2012 ( 2 moms have responded )
This is extremely hard for me but I really need support..Has anyone lost a child due to drowning in your own bathtub? I recently lost my beautiful 11 month old daughter and I truly I'm lost in my own excruciating pain and unbearable guilt.. I just can't seem to forgive myself for getting distracted for that short moment
To make things worst I truly believe that I could had saved her life had a known CPR but I didn't :'( so that adds more pain and guilt.. My princess still gave me the gift of lasting 12 days in the hospital.. While she was there she got even more beautiful and grew so much I prayed to god to please forgiving me for failing her as a mother that I wished I would have been a perfect mom that made no mistakes but I prayed for being human and imperfect.. I ask for her forgiveness every single day as I believe she must of left thinking mommy didn't love her for not being there when she most needed me.. I feel so hopeless I've heard of many miracle babies whom were able to survive but I guess I didn't deserve such miracle.. I am a hardworking mom whom love her kids so very much and really never went out with friends or family or even alone with my husband because i would feel guilty for leaving them alone as silly as that sounds but its true plus I just loved being with them and enjoyed being around them till this happened now I feel hopeless I feel like a horrible parent and sometimes feel like I won't be able to care for my remaining children because I feel so scared to fail them too.. It's been 4 months and I really don't know how to deal with the trama and pain and guilt..has anyone went through a similar accident and was able to finally forgive yourself? :'( if so how?