Christine - posted on 04/16/2013 ( 5 moms have responded )
Alright, first off I would like to say hello and thank you to everyone that takes the time out of their day to read this, let alone respond. Also, that I joined because I saw so much outreach and responses, I couldn't resist.
I am a near 28 year old woman, with a son who is almost 10. If you do the math I had my son when I was 17. I was still in high school and very young. I can say it was a very difficult path along the way, but here I am alive and well. But now I find myself in a pickle, yet again. Let me explain...
I am currently a college student, with a little over 2 years to finish. I am in a committed relationship with a man for almost a year now. He has a great job, and he too is also in college. He has no children. We recently found out we are expecting, to much surprise! We have went back and forth with our decision as to whether keep or abort the baby. I feel more prepared than what I did before with my first, because I know what to expect now. After much debate and still a little weary, we opted for abortion. I have my appointment tomorrow to do the "pre" screening for the medication pills. And I believe, Saturday will be when I take the pills. But let me back up a little....
Yesterday, I was working and realized I was bleeding. I was very concerned and sad. I went to the hospital. After tests and ultrasounds, they indicated that the baby was still alive at 7 weeks, however I need to go back tomorrow to ensure my blood and HCG levels are back to normal. But, tomorrow, let me remind you, is the same day I am "supposed" to go for the "pre" screening. I think that it is a bit odd that all this happened yesterday and if I should take this as some sign???
Now I am questioning whether I should follow through with the abortion. Was the sadness I felt to help me realize what I will feel after the abortion? And the more I think, yeah, we are in no financial shape to raise a baby, but yet I wasn't at 17, but I managed. But I would like to add that after having my son, I have severe PPD and still deal with depression today. And since being pregnant, my hormones have NOT helped my mental health. I find myself crying often. Maybe because of hormones, of being scared of going through a 2nd PPD phase again (it was awful), and just not feeling ready for another baby.
Ultimately, I understand this my decision to make, but I would truly love experiences and opinions. Now I know I will make some people mad about the abortion, but I want to explain everything for what it is worth. I am only human. Any help would be GREATLY appreciated. Thanks again for stopping to read this and I look forward to hearing from those who chose to comment.