This kid is taking me down!!!

Amanda - posted on 09/20/2012 ( 5 moms have responded )




Im a 30 year old stay at home mom of 3 Great kids. Last year I was given the opportunity to take on a friends infant son while she went back to work. It was great, I was still able to stay home and make a little money to help contribute to the household expenses. A couple of months later I took on another friends kid and things were going great. Last march I took on a third child and this one was not a friends child. He also was not like the other two. I love kids and I know how different each child is but this didnt feel right at all. He was not a happy kid. He would cry from the time mom left til she returned(of which was often a 10-12 hour day). He would be so upset he was shaking as if traumatized. I gave it a month and sat down with the parents to let them know I didnt know what was going on with him or if it was going to work out. They seemed to beg to give it more time and we even worked out a more full time schedule to see if his mood would change. But 6 months later, nothing has really changed. He just isnt happy here and its causing me to be anxious around him. I find I cant sleep the night before I watch him and all day Im on edge. I am not a confrontational person at all. The thought of having the conversation with his parents again makes my stomach turn. How do I tell them Their kid makes me crazy?


Dove - posted on 09/20/2012




If that were my kid I would have pulled him from your care a LONG time ago... like a week after he started (if that long)! Not because of anything wrong with YOU, of course, but that poor little boy. :( 10-12 hours of crying is just so heartbreaking. He should be with one of his parents. I know that may or may not be possible due to their circumstances, but no actual day care is going to keep a kid who cries for 10-12 hours a day for 6 months straight... at least I wouldn't think so. Giving him a bit of time to adjust is one thing, but he is obviously not adjusting.

Let them know that you can not watch him anymore BECAUSE you care about him so much. You've tried to help him adjust and give him time to do so, but it just isn't happening and him being that upset for that long WILL do damage and you just can't be responsible for damaging a child. If they absolutely HAVE to have child care urge them to look for a nanny who will care for him in his own home. Maybe the one on one in his home environment would help him.

Katherine - posted on 09/20/2012




You flat out tell them he's too traumatized! Geez, if *I* were the parent I sure wouldn't want my kid crying for me everyday for 10-12 hours! Sounds like they don't care or something. I know they probably have to work, but enough is enough. It's not fair to you either! Put your foot down and tell them you absolutely CANNOT watch him anymore. Flip it around on he kid. Tell them he is way to stressed. That it's been 6 months and nothing has changed for him and you don't think you're a good fit for him. That crying that much isn't healthy and it upsets you.



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Ella - posted on 09/26/2012




Perhaps this little boy has something wrong with him,meby he's autistic or has a underlying problem weather it's emotionally, genetically or phcologicly.dosnt seem rite that he be like that after so long,how old is this child????

Gwen - posted on 09/21/2012




Awww..the thought of him backing up and stiffening his body break my heart! :( Obviously, there is more going on in his little life than you can fix. Maybe he was abused by a previous babysitter? Have you ever seen other evidence (bruises, etc) that would cause you to suspect his parents of anything?

Amanda - posted on 09/21/2012




I know this isnt good for him at all! I also wonder if he is like this at home... He just seems stressed out and not happy like babies should be. He rarely interacts with the other kids. He will back himself against a wall if someone comes near him and stiffens up whenever I pick him up. I wish I could figure out if his home life is okay without being obvious.

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