Casie - posted on 01/06/2016 ( no moms have responded yet )
My husband and I have been together for over 4 years, married for almost 2. I am 27, he is 41. I have 4 kids, ages 4, 6, 6, and 8, (all living at home with me) he has 4 kids ages 22,13,11, and 8, the oldest and 2 youngest live with their mothers.
In October 2015 his 13 year old daughter moved in with us due to her mother being abusive. She never really took care of her. We tried this once in 2014 and it didn't work, but now she's here because of the abuse and we can't let her go back. First let me say she has issues that she is seen for at MHMR. She has Behavior Disorder, Mood Disorder, and ADHD.
This child has told me and both of her parents in front of us that me and my kids are in her way and she just wants her parents back together. It's been made VERY clear that it isn't going to happen. His ex-wife is crazy and he and I are VERY happy together. But this child.....
She is mean to my kids, she steals things from me, she lies all the time, she refuses to listen to me. I understand a lot of her actions are due to her simply being a teenager, but the level of disrespect is beyond measure. I can't get her to do anything I ask, she refuses to do homework and is failing 3 of her core classes (and we are in a tiny community where the grades have no more than 30 students each). Due to my husband being the one that works and I am the stay at home mom, I take her to her doctor's appointments, I take things to school when she forgets them at home (including her medications that she's taken since she was 8). I do what I should do as a mother. I love her like my own but I just can't get along with the child. In 2013 when she moved in with us she peed her pants because I told her she couldn't change out of her clean clothes while I was doing laundry (she saw a different pair of shorts she wanted). She has told me she hates me and just wants me to move out.
Yes, I have talked to my husband about the behavior and how she acts (especially when he isn't home). It took a while but he finally started getting onto her when she would constantly get an attitude with me anytime I said anything to her.
I want to leave my relationship because of her. I don't want my kids around her. I have caught her grinding on my eight year old and she laughed about it. I don't want to deal with her anymore.
I just don't know what to do. Any advice would be appreciated.