Thought on consequences for poor academic performance

Susan - posted on 11/06/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

2

0

1

We have a 12 year old son with ADHD. We have never put pressure on him or our 2 other children to get certain grades, but we don't want to see D's or F's on their report cards. We think there should be some kind of consequence for it, but I am struggling with this for our son with ADHD. While I feel consequences are necessary for kids to learn from, I don't know about punishing a child with a diagnosed medical condition that makes school more difficult for him than a typical child. Any suggestions or thought would be appreciated. Thanks!

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Jodi - posted on 11/06/2014

3,561

36

3907

I think you should focus on effort rather than the grade. Instead of imposing consequences for the grade, how about discussing effort applied with his teachers? Some students can try so hard at their work and still not get above a D. It happens.

4 Comments

View replies by

Guest - posted on 11/07/2014

460

0

26

I do a similar thing with spelling words--I turn the letters into a picture that has something to do with the meaning of the word, or with some clue to help me remember it. People with ADHD are often much more visual learners than auditory (and unfortunately, schools usually teach more in an auditory style because that is the easiest and the way most normal people learn the best).

Guest - posted on 11/07/2014

460

0

26

I agree with Jodi, focus on the effort, not the grade.

A child with ADHD is perfectly capable of making good grades, they just have to go about it very differently than children with normal brains. Find out WHY he is not achieving the standard that you feel he should be achieving, and link the "consequences" to addressing those inadequacies. No amount or degree of punishment is going to make him improve if he doesn't know HOW to improve. As a person who struggles with ADHD, I can assure you, he is frustrated too (unless he is under the impression that the grades don't matter, in which case you need to explain why they are important--ie college, knowledge, they are a reflection of what he is learning, etc.)

For example, if he is failing History because he is getting names and dates mixed up in his head, work with him and his therapist to develop a method for him to keep them straight. Just taking his games away or grounding him for a few weeks isn't going to do anything but make him feel bad about himself.
(btw, to keep names and dates from History lessons in order for myself, I draw a picture that incorporates the different people, places, and events I am learning about. Then I incorporate their names and dates into the picture somehow--like the year printed down the president's tie--then when the test comes around, I just have to remember the picture instead of a ton of different names and dates. This technique works very well for people with ADHD).

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms