Three year old and pacifier

Kelley - posted on 05/14/2012 ( 9 moms have responded )

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My Husband and I have been trying to find the best way to get rid of our 3 year old Daughter's pacifier for a few weeks now. Yesterday after church she insisted on throwing it in the woods for a baby bear to have. Last night at bedtime and this morning she begged us to go get it back. I must admit she was pitiful and I was tempted to get the one I have saved for keepsake. I am determined to keep it away from her but I hope her pain is over soon! Any suggestions of how to keep it off her mind? She never used her pacifier at school. Only in the car, at night and when she is tired or sick.

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America3437 - posted on 05/14/2012

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No don't give it back!!!!!! Remind her that she gave it to the baby bear and she is a big girl now and doesn't need it. She will get over it and it will become a distant memory in no time. It is harder on you then it is on her! She will cry for a few days but just keep reminding her she is a big girl and gave hers to the baby bear. Maybe go buy her a little purse or something and tell her baby's have pacifers and big girls carry purses.

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April - posted on 05/15/2012

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The way we got rid of the pacifier for my 2 year old niece was we cut the end off, and then consecutively every night, we cut a little bit more off until there was nothing left for her to suck on. After the tip is cut it doesn't provide the relief anymore that it once did, but they still "have the pacifier" until they get tired of it or it just doesn't work right anymore. After a few more nights of cutting the end off gradually she didn't even ask nor want it anymore.

Louise - posted on 05/15/2012

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Buy her a new tiny clutchable bear that she can take to bed. Something like a snuggle bear which is part blanket part teddy. Let her take this to bed with her and tell her he is here so she does not feel sad about her dummy going to a baby bear. Let her have it when she is tired and at nights but not around the house. If she take to it make sure you buy a spare!

Jodi - posted on 05/15/2012

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When my daughter got rid of hers, we decorated a bag and put them under the Christmas tree for the baby reindeer. That was the deal. next morning they were all gone, and she freaked out. She realised what she had done. Two nights later, it was like she'd never had a pacifier - she got over it pretty quickly. Her comfort has transferred to snuggling soft toys in bed. She is 7 and she still likes her soft toys.

She will be okay and she will get over it. In fact, you'll probably find that in a day or two it will just be a fond memory. Don't give in, just allow her other ways to comfort herself if that helps.

Brandi - posted on 05/15/2012

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With my oldest daughter who is about to turn 11 I did something similar to what Ashley said. I was looking for advice in order to get rid of H's pacifiers because she was just getting to old for it. Healthy Families gave me the idea of cutting the tip off the pacifier when she wasn't around and handing it to her "broken". After a few moments of trying to suck on it she also said "It's broken!" and handed it back. She tried them all out and ended up not bothering with them.
There were a couple days when she asked for it but she never got a new one and eventually forgot about it.

As for my 7 year old daughter she was a bit trickier to deal with due to having Autism and she pretty much had her pacifier until she was 4 and a half! I eventually just tossed it in the trash and told her she was done with it. She was upset for a few days but got over it. (I still feel terrible for taking it like that). I just kept telling her she was a big girl and didn't need a paci any more.
Here in Iceland (I moved here before K was born and have been here since) there is a place in the Reykjavik zoo that houses a "pacifier tree". All the small Icelandic children eventually bring their pacifiers there in the zoo for the baby animals to use when they are born ;). It apparently works! So the baby bear idea was pretty cute! Reminds me of the "tree" here.

I would honestly keep at it and not give in to allowing one back. Reassure her that she is a big girl and the baby bears need it now. Distract her from the thought and yeah I liked America3437's idea with the purse. I would possible consider buying her something "big girl!" I will also admit there may be a few rough nights ahead but if you stay strong it will pass.
I will be in this boat once my 2 year old son's preschool breaks for summer. He will be next. hehe.
Good luck! :)

Dove - posted on 05/14/2012

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First, I just want to say how cute and sweet it is that she threw it in the woods for a baby bear! ♥ lol

Second, I wouldn't give it back or get a new one. Just remind her that the baby bear needs it now and then distract her with a big girl activity/item of some sort.

Hang in there! My oldest was almost 2 when we ditched the binky and it took about a week of minor adjustments.

Jenn - posted on 05/14/2012

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The pacifier is obviously a habit, but more importantly it is her soother, her security, her friend.when my daughter was three, we put strict limits on her paci...bedtime and nap only. We began talking about the Paci Fairy (she has an avid imagination) and how the fairy would take the paci to give to a baby who really needed it. One day, she was ready! She put the paci under her pillow and the next morning there was a note from the Paci Fairy praising her decision and for being such a big girl. Even a little fairy dust was on her pillow. She is 7 now' has that letter framed and still talks about how big she was then to give up her paci all by herself :)

It isn't fair to allow pacifiers when they are infants to soothe them (and to be honest, us too!) then abruptly take it away simply because WE are ready. Depending on how sensitive your child is, that is just a recipe for unnecessary tears and heartache.

Ashley - posted on 05/14/2012

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I like America3437's idea too - like I said - that worked for us but we had not yet taken it from him. Her response sounds like a good plan - and what girl wouldn't love a new purse!! My 7 year old got her first purse at around 3 and she still loves to get a new one!!!

Ashley - posted on 05/14/2012

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I'm not exactly sure on how to handle it when it's been thrown in the woods! But - if you have one you aren't wanting to save - I'll tell you what we did - and it worked. Only problem is - if it doesn't work - you HAVE to take it away because it could be a choking hazard.

My now 11 year old, at 3, would not give up his 'binky'. One night - it was looking pretty worn and got a tiny hole in it. My husband took it from him, cut a much larger hole in the end of the nipple, and then gave it to him. My son put it in his mouth - sucked a second - announced it was broken and he didn't want it anymore and handed it to us. I looked at my hubby and said it would never work - he'd never sleep without it - but he did. And - he never asked for it again! I guess he didn't want that broken thing back, it just didn't feel right.

Only concern is that if your keepsake pacifier is all you have you may not want to mutilate it!! However - I actually kept my pacifier with the hole in it - because he loves to hear the story of how it caused him to give it up.

I have no idea if this would work - so you might want to spend a few dollars on one that looks like her abandoned in the woods pacifier - since you may not want to destroy the one you are keeping (I kept a pacifier from my 2 that took them too - and still have them - even though my oldest that took one is now 19!)

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