Sal - posted on 05/10/2012
My 4and5yr olds respond well to time outs we go a minuite per year so 4and 5 mins and time doesn't start until they sit calmly and quietly, I also use hand on head to put an instant stop to behavior, I started this in the car when they were contantly arguing, I just raise my hand and they know to put hands on head until I put it down but it works great at home too, almost negates the need for time outs as the behavior stops almost before it starts.... Loss of privileged I think is best for a pre teen, what ever their currency is, computer tv visits from friend just be reasonable and consistant
Holly - posted on 05/10/2012
I don't have a preteen yet so not sure about that but I found until about 6 my older 2 kids rsponded well to timeouts. I'm pretty strict with time outs. The time out chair isin a very unintersting place (not alot of traffic, nothing ot look at . . ), set a timer so its for a specific amount of time (and so you don't forget lol!), and if they talk or get up I add time. I did give them warnings in the beginning but only once or twice then followed through. Its worked well.
Now that my oldest 2 are 8 and 9 I find I take away priviledges something they value. For example, my son loves anything electronic. So, he may lose TV time, computer time, game time or all 3 for a half day to a whole day. When it is a recurring, i usually sit down with them when all is well and talk about their behavior. I have asked what they think an appropiate punishment is. We usually "negotiate" a little and then agree on what is lost and for how long. The great thing about this is when they break our agreement, I remind them of what they agreed to and then carryy out the punishment. It keeps me calm and not angry because its already been discussed. Hope this is helpful.
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