Tips on how to be a great single mother!

Noelene - posted on 10/09/2014 ( 4 moms have responded )

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I am a first time mother of a beautiful 9 month old baby boy. He was born at 11:15pm on 25th December 2013. Being a single mother is a challenge but very rewarding experience for me. I would like to know what to expect in terms of being a single mother and raising a son!

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Noelene - posted on 10/09/2014

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Very true! I was involved with a guy, whom I fell so deeply in love with. Although he was good in some respects, he faltered when it came to women. He also has kids from other women, which to date he either does not support them, given the situation that he put himself in, or he cannot visit frequently, as they are living in another country. I tried to make the relationship work, regardless of him having other children from other women. But it never worked out, as he cheated on me from the very start.

I ended the relationship without knowing that I was 5 months pregnant. My son lives with me. His father helps out whenever he can. I don't deny my son's father from seeing him, or spending time with his son; however, I'm adament that my son should not be raised in a home that exposes him to a polygamous life. I've made this decision because to date my son's father continues to see more than one women, even though he publicly proclaims that he currently has a steady girlfriend.

It's taken me a while to get over my relationship with my son's father; however, every day after my son's birth has really help me to move on, cause every time I see my son, I feel the emptiness fill with so much love for my son!

I take each day as a learning experience. Learning how to be a mum and dad, mentor and best friend to my son!

Ev - posted on 10/09/2014

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You are most welcome and that advice is just as good for mothers who are in marriages or good strong relationships. I also had two grandmothers and a mother besides Aunts to follow suit from. I learned from them how to raise kids and then applied it to my own style of parenting which was not much different than theirs. I am divorced and my kids had to go live with dad because of certain circumstances. Needless to say, with them under his influence most of the time and not really wanting much to do with me, I did not know if he would eventually turn them against me. In the long run, that did not happen as I stayed involved and such. My oldest, a daughter, is married with two kids of her own and doing a good job raising them. It has nothing to do with being a single mom or not, it has to do with what you want to instill in your children as they are our futures.

Noelene - posted on 10/09/2014

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Thank you so much Evelyn. You're response is such an encouragement. I will definitely take heed of your advise.

And it's really humbling to know that you have shaped your son to become a gentleman. Every mother would want to see their child(ren) grow up to become great men and women. Gives me hope to raise my son to the best of my ability, teaching him what's right from wrong in order for him to become a better person in the future.

Many thanks again and you have a lovely day!

Ev - posted on 10/09/2014

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Always love him no matter what.
As he grows, learn about the things that usually a dad would talk to a son about especially when he hits the puberty stage in the teens. I know that sounds weird now but unless he has some father figure or male mentor in our family or group of family friends, you will be embrassed by trying to talk about certain things.
Encourage him.
Start discipline early on and add to it as he grows. Do things for his age and level of understanding. Make sure as he ages that he understands the rules of home and the changes made to some as he does get older and more independant.
Learn his likes, dislikes, and his favorite things to do as he grows up. (This is the kicker here. I had to learn after my son's sis went off to college what worked for him as far as doing activities together based on his interests and we did them together.)
Praise him when he does good in school like for grades.
Set up chores for him to do that are age appropriate and start training him to the best of your ability in them. This way he knows how to do things for himself when he gets on his own and to help you around the house.

Basically, there is no magic set of rules to be a great mother. Just those suggestions above and your love and guidance is what he needs. My son is 17 years old now. He is well on his way to having a good life and he is a gentleman.

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