tips on how to explain to my 4 year old of our intrafamily adoption

Jennifer - posted on 10/23/2016 ( 4 moms have responded )

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Hello Moms!!!
I need help please! My sons father left when he was 9 months old and have popped in out and of his life since. He's aware he has a "Daddy". My beyond amazing husband and I have gotten married this year and the biological father signed over his rights so my husband can adopt. How do I explain to my 4 year old in the best way that my husband is his father without sounding cruel? All tips are welcomed! Thank you in advance!!!

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Jennifer - posted on 10/26/2016

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Oh my goodness! Such great ideas! Thank you ladies so much! It's been worrying me because naturally we want to protect our children so I have painted this Superhero of his bio dad in his mind and the last thing I want to do is make him feel like he's not important or confuse him. I love the picture album idea. We even have a home video from the Hospital that could help him later on. This is such an exciting time for me and anyone that has seen the last four years. I never imagined having someone to share my loved for my son with and having a family. Thank you ladies for taking time out of your day! XOXO

Kirsty - posted on 10/25/2016

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Hi ...you can't really explain to a 4 year old that your new husband is his daddy he wouldn't understand ..but with lots of love from your new husband I'm sure in time he will love him like his dad and call him dad without the pressure of inflicting it on him ..kids are very resilient if you are happy he will be too ..hope that helps.

Sarah - posted on 10/24/2016

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At that age the best way is through pictures. Make a picture album that you guys look at on a regular basis (does not need to be every day, but should be something you do more than just a couple times a year). In that album put in pictures that describe his life. So have pictures of you pregnant with him if you have any, when you were at the hospital, his bio dad, if you can him and bio dad doing things together, your husband and your son doing things together. Then you talk about those pictures when you look at the book. If you do this regularly then he will always know and can ask questions as he has them.

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