tired of stupid questions

Sarah - posted on 07/10/2009 ( 53 moms have responded )

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have you ever been asked the following questions if so how did you reply to them

Arent you alittle young to be a mom?

what did you have? when your child is in a gender defining outfit ie a dress or a sailor suit

do you plan on getting rid of you baby weight?

or

now that your a mom do you plan on going back to work or living ff your husband?

these are questions I have gotten where I just bit my tongue but really wanted to tell the people to screw off. does anyother momdeal with thisor am I crazy

53 Comments

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Tracy - posted on 12/29/2011

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I like this answer, it is funny, people ask such crazy questions.

When is your baby due?

Van - posted on 01/21/2011

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I don't get asked if I'm too young. I get stares. That's it.
I am always asked if my son is a girl or boy. I really hate that.
And I get the...'are you planning on going back to work or school' question.

Allie - posted on 07/30/2009

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i hate when i am with my daughter in public and she is wearing PINK clothes with PINK blanket in her PINK carseat and i have her PINK diaper bag an ppl ask me if she is aboy or a girl....i mean seriously...DUH!!

Sarah - posted on 07/16/2009

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I recently got back from vacation while on it I had an elderly lady Ask me if I planned on marrying.. I told her that I had married but am no longer (not true but hey she neednt know that) anyway and shes like the divorce rate is so high especially with young people. To this I replied actually Im a widow my husband had been called to war just after I found out I was pregnant and was killed... (not morally right) but she left me alone after that

[deleted account]

i know this is an international forum so maybe its an australian thing, but ive NEVER been asked those questions by a stranger.

they usually ask how old my daughter is and then just coo over how cute she is.

i have occassionally been asked the gender but that mostly when i have dressed my daughter in pink and used a blue bunny rug (who says you can only use blue or pink depending on the gender).

if someone ever asked me if i was going to loose the baby weight id probably punch them in the face! that is jsut rude.

Katrina - posted on 07/16/2009

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I have always been tempted to say to the "when are you going to have another one" question: "the doctors said I couldn't have anymore!" (Obviously it's not true for my position)

I could guess (particularly if you said it loud enough in a public place) that they would NEVER feel comfortable asking ANYONE that question again! Particularly someone they didn't know.

Arwen - posted on 07/15/2009

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I just had to start shrugging it off. When people asked if my pink outfitted baby wrapped in a flowed pink blanket was a boy, I would tell them yes. "My son was born gay. It's true what they say." They always get a big kick out of it.

Charlie - posted on 07/15/2009

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oh yeah , i had an elderly lady ask me " are you married " when i was pregnant
i replied " no "
she rolled her eyes and said i suppose you dont have to be these days "
i just laughed !

[deleted account]

For whatever reason, when you have a baby or are pregnant it seems to open the door to stupid people. They seem to think that your being pregnant means they can touch your belly and when you have your kids they offer up all sorts of unsolicited advice, rude and personal questions, and want to touch your kids without even asking. I'll never understand people and their inablity to use common sense and respect other people and their space/property. on the "boy/girl" mix ups I usually just politely correct people, but on the baby weight and back to work questions, I'd have to say I'd have a hard time holding my tounge. I'd definitely fire back a s/a answer or tell them to shove their nose into their own s*** and keep it out of mine :)

Ornella - posted on 07/15/2009

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I was changing my daughter who had a pink snow suit on at the time, I put her on the public changing place with no nappy and still this woman insisted on calling her a boy!!! Duh!!!!!

Sarah - posted on 07/15/2009

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Quoting Heidi:

I think most of the time when people ask questions that seem stupid to us, they are not trying to be rude. They are just making conversation and do not realize they are the 100th (or whatever) person to say that. Answering with patience and kindness just might make you a new friend.



to this yea I agree that patience when they ask it the first time but I'm constantly correcting the same person for calling my child a boy... as for the not so nice questions that to me isnt making conversation it's just plain butting in on something they shouldnt but in on. when I can't tell the sex of a baby because yes it happens to everyone I just lean into the baby and ask "and whats your name lil-one" the parent then answers me no hurt feelings but thanx for the advice and thanx to evevryone for posting

Heidi - posted on 07/15/2009

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I think most of the time when people ask questions that seem stupid to us, they are not trying to be rude. They are just making conversation and do not realize they are the 100th (or whatever) person to say that. Answering with patience and kindness just might make you a new friend or at least make someone's day a little better. Assuming they are trying to be rude and snapping back has the potential to alienate and/or hurt the other person. Why not assume the best and act accordingy?

Joanne - posted on 07/15/2009

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My little boy is 3 1/2 now and I still get the comments, "ah isnt SHE beautiful!!" just because his hair is shoulder length, and also "you will need to cut his hair before he goes to school or he will be picked on!"

My husband and I will decied when to cut our son's hair or our son will ask us to cut his hair, I keep asking him if he wants his hair cut and he says no I like my hair!

A lot of the boys in the local schools have long hair any way some even longer than my sons!!

Jennifer - posted on 07/14/2009

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I get the "when are you getting married?" question all the time it drives me nuts I just tell them whenever i damn well feel like it and the young mum thing I tell them i tried to hold them as long as I could but they still came out, my kids don't have gender specific names so I emphasize the HE's and SHE's my son is named Aubrey and my daughter Devon so I understand that confusion but I hate the going back to school/work questions, you have a baby they obviosly need care and you're a grown adult you can decide for yourself what works best for your family, I hate that stay at home mums get viewed as not working or lazy, the way i see it you have the rest of your life to work and go to school but your children are only babies once for a short while so take a deep breath and enjoy them

Laura - posted on 07/14/2009

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Quoting Angie:

I was 24 and had been married for 3 years when I got pregnant. I was working in a bookstore and a lady came in and told me that she was tired of young people like me getting pregnant and expecting her to support us! I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. I just said that I was 24 and married. She rolled her eyes and walked away!



Now THIS one would've set me off.  I would've slipped a book in her purse and called the police when the alarms went off or something.



Commenting on how cute your little "girl" is, when your child is obviously a boy, is stupid but not so much mean.  Comments suggesting weight, or your financial situation, or parenting skills are completely uncalled for, and I'd get an attitude.  I'm done being the bigger person,

Johnny - posted on 07/14/2009

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I am always really amused when people can't figure out that I have a girl when she's dressed in head to toe pink or wearing a dress. And then yesterday I made this very mistake thinking this cute little girl in a yellow dress was a boy (in my defense she had a blanket on). But duh! So I'll give people a little slack in that department, cause I sure need it :)

But questions about age & weight are always socially taboo for strangers and casual friends at least. Anyone who ventures down those paths deserves a smart ass answer or simply a comment to how rude the question is.

As for the "living off your husband" question, oh, that one irritates me! So stupid. Being mommy is a job. Simple as that. Anyone who asks about it in such a way is just jealous IMHO. But I will admit that I regularly discuss with other moms, "are you going back to work?" as if we aren't doing a much harder job right now. And that's what I say to anyone who asks, "yes, I'm going back to my job 2 days a week, and frankly, it's going to be a nice break from my real work".

User - posted on 07/14/2009

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heres one for you's.. i was out with my son that i just gave birth to about a months ago at the time, n this lady came up to me n was like aww he's so cute n let me guess ur about 6 months prengent..i was like no i just gave birth to him bout a months ago.. n she was like aw im sorry.. ya pll should keep there mouth close sometimes, it just makes them look dumb.. n its not like my kid is a big kid.. he was 6lbs 10oz.. n im not a big girl either..

Charlie - posted on 07/14/2009

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GOD i hate when people ask that !! " have you got a job yet "
NO i quit my job to be a stay at home MUM you morons !!
so annoying .LOL

TinaMarie - posted on 07/14/2009

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Anne has been here with kindness and humility, it's nice to see you again. Sarah we're all still in your corner. ~ T.

Sharon - posted on 07/14/2009

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When people ask stupid questions I give stupid answers. "oh no, the sailor suit is an affectation, it isn't a boy or girl, its a hermaphrodite."



For the curious about baby weight I answered honestly. "I'm going to exercise, exercise, exercise and NOT diet."



If someone asked me if I were going to live off my husband - I'd laugh. And ask when did they intend to purchase some manners. IF I didn't just reach out and smack the shit out of them.



Have fun with the idiots, there aren't useful for anything else.

Carly - posted on 07/14/2009

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those are GREAT answers!! i plan to use them next time someone asks me some of these dumb questions

Momma - posted on 07/14/2009

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When people would ask me these questions I gave them s/a comments back:
the sex of my daughter when she was dressed in a pretty dress or something pink, or had a pretty bow in her hair (she was born with a full head of hair so she always had a bow in it). I told them I had a boy but because I wanted a girl so bad I'm giving the cross dressing a go.
when i was asked about going back to work or letting my partner support me, I told them I would get a baby sitter for my daughter and have affairs with my partners closest friends.
when I was asked about weight i would tell them I'm thinner now than i was before i was pregnant. although it was true for me, it made people feel bad.

i always have something to say when people are stupid and ask something that's none of their business. I've learned they shut up a lot faster when they don't like the answer you give them. Most of the time they will give you a very dirty look and walk away. I always embarrassed the people around me, but its what worked for me.

Nicole - posted on 07/14/2009

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Here's my answers to those questions:

Aren't you a little young to be a mom?
Nope, I'm really 39, I just take really good care of myself!

Is it a boy or a girl?
We're not sure yet, but we were hoping for a boy so that's why he's in blue!

Do you plan on losing your baby weight?
Nope, I'm saving it for the next one! No sense in getting rid of it when it's all just gonna come back!

Do you plan on going back to work?
I am working!

Kate - posted on 07/14/2009

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I used to get asked "where are her socks?!" all the time. Umm...she has tiny, skinny newborn feet and kicks them off constantly, so I thought I'd just go ahead and forget them (she was bundled up in a blanket anyway). Even now she HATES socks!

We got "boys always get the best hair!" a couple weeks ago when she was in a dress...and she has long, wild, curly hair. As if I'd let my son's hair grow that long? She's 17 mo. too, not a little baby.

Mostly people didn't bug me though...but I DID get asked "so when are you having another" as soon as 2 months into my first pregnancy!

Oh and now people like to say "you look terrible" because I am 38.5 weeks pregnant and yes, exhausted from also chasing a toddler. I just hope they are 'right' and that means baby is coming soon!

[deleted account]

I can understand the gender question to a certain extent because some people don't always look at what the baby is wearing, but still very annoying all the same.



The other examples in the OP are just plain rude. I can't believe people ask new moms such stipid questions.

Charlotte - posted on 07/14/2009

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Quoting Taffi:

Question pending I try to make it funny but sarcasm is part of my personality...

Aren't you a little young to be a mom?
Aren't you a little old to be asking that?

What did you have?
A baby. HIS name is...

Do you plan on getting rid of you baby weight?
I got rid of my baby weight when I gave birth...this is all mine.

Now that you're a mom do you plan on going back to work or living off your husband?
I went back to work the day I gave birth. I'm working longer hours, get no breaks, am screamed at on an hourly basis, and I'm payed in poopy diapers and smiles. But on the plus side, I know I won't be getting laid off anytime soon.

Good Luck!



This is SO funny!  I  especially like the last bit about having gone back to work the day you gave birth!  I really should use that next time people ask me the same question.

Emma - posted on 07/11/2009

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Question 1, Not had that one i was 27 when had my first.

Question 2, I say well we had boy, but realy wanted a girl, thats why the Dress....

Question 3, Never had this one but did get asked when i was 8 months are you pregnant? my answer was No im just fat thanks for pointing it out.

Question 4, My answer is well, whats the point of being a stay at home mom, if i dont just get to lay around and eat bon bons all day.

Taffi - posted on 07/11/2009

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Question pending I try to make it funny but sarcasm is part of my personality...



Aren't you a little young to be a mom?

Aren't you a little old to be asking that?



What did you have?

A baby. HIS name is...



Do you plan on getting rid of you baby weight?

I got rid of my baby weight when I gave birth...this is all mine.



Now that you're a mom do you plan on going back to work or living off your husband?

I went back to work the day I gave birth. I'm working longer hours, get no breaks, am screamed at on an hourly basis, and I'm payed in poopy diapers and smiles. But on the plus side, I know I won't be getting laid off anytime soon.



Good Luck!

Candice - posted on 07/11/2009

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i used to get bothered when people assumed my baby was a boy (she's taking forever to grow hair, and i sometimes dress her in blue...girls can like blue too), until i realized that even when i dress her in pink and bows, they still say it...then i realized people are just idiots. i just let them go on and on about what a cute little boy she is, until they ask her name. "kaitlyn" i say...and their faces show they realized their own stupidity. and i didn't have to even do anything! always great for a laugh.



as for the other questions, the only one i get is "is she your first child?' to which they get "first and last! i'm fixed".

Mam, Mez, Merly - posted on 07/11/2009

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Arent you alittle young to be a mom? : Well since we have been trying for ten years what do you think?

what did you have? when your child is in a gender defining outfit ie a dress or a sailor suit : Look at your child and say: "Well I think I had a girl, I just put her in a sailor suit to see who noticed...What do you think?"

do you plan on getting rid of you baby weight? : "Why bother, I am going to have ten more kids, what about you? are you pregnant?"

or

now that your a mom do you plan on going back to work or living ff your husband? "Living off my husband of course.....well I would if I had one...." :)



People who ask questions like that either live very sheltered lives, or have serious problems of their own. Try not to let it get to you. :)

Anne - posted on 07/11/2009

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OUCH!! Thank You for reminding me of this. I am always grateful for people that help me see my flaws. I REALLY MEAN THIS!!. Because of this I am going to delete my earlier post.

I do not mean any disrespect to any one else that has or will post to this thread. I have to admit some of the answers were ever funny.I hope you all understand where I am coming from. Thank you.

TinaMarie - posted on 07/11/2009

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I have had some of these type of questions and I usually try kindness, but at some point I stop them and ask them to be kind, or say "That's Rude." and go on my merry way. You're worth being polite to. Really, feel free to separate yourself from those who would waste your time and energies. Your age or job status is not an excuse to treat you badly. I wouldn't waste time trying to educate, debate, or candy coat the issue, "That's rude." says it all, those who try to explain themselves after the fact should simply apologize.Oh, by the way; forgiveness is amazing, it offers a 2nd chance and frees you of "their baggage". I have had to apologize myself and I'm grateful for the lessons I've learned and those who have helped me along the way. God Bless Sarah.

Amy - posted on 07/10/2009

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Are you a little too young to be a mom? What!!! I'm 12 I can totally handle it my locker is big enough for a little baby.

What did you have??? Well we had a girl but the hubs wasn't happy so now they are transgendered waiting for approval for the final surgery.

Do you plan on getting rid of your baby weight? Nope! I plan on gaining another 100lbs (thin is so not in right now)

Do I plan on going to work or living off my husband? Well since I currently have no job, there are numerous government subsidies I can take advantage of....My husband and I will "separate" so I qualify for more, but he will live with me and make me more babies!

Gotta give the dummies something to really think twice about...LMAO!

Yvonne - posted on 07/10/2009

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oh god i hav been asked these questions so many times!!some people are just so nosey and dumb dont let em get to u......we are constantly gettin asked when we are gonna sprout d next one my fave respionse is; not sure when but were sure havin fun practisin,how bout u?

Yvonne - posted on 07/10/2009

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oh god i hav been asked these questions so many times!!some people are just so nosey and dumb dont let em get to u......we are constantly gettin asked when we are gonna sprout d next one my fave respionse is; not sure when but were sure havin fun practisin,how bout u?

Leonie - posted on 07/10/2009

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I love "is it a boy or a girl" when my daughter is dressed in pink from heat to toe.

Sharyn - posted on 07/10/2009

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yeah i am a big girl and one lady made comments on how something would help me loose weight ... i'm like "i'm sorry but i actually lost weight the minute i gave birth" ...
and yeah .... i felt like hitting soemone when they said "he" to my daughter when she was wearing a girlie headband and a obvious girlie outfit ......

Angie - posted on 07/10/2009

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People don't think before they speak. My husband and I are the same age, 25. Our daughter will be 2 in August and our son will be 1 in August. Every time we go to a certain grocery store, this employee stops my husband and slaps his hand. She tells him that he looks too young to have kids. But once she told me that I look old enough. Thanks a lot, rude!
And people were always asking if my kid with a BOW IN HER HAIR was a girl. Duh. Although my mom once saw someone carrying a baby carrier with a pink design and she commented on the cute baby girl. The woman got mad and said it was a boy.
What can you do? Ignore people.

Kayla - posted on 07/10/2009

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I have been asked if i planned on getting pregnant straight out of highschool and then gotten that whole "you know its going to be really hard raising a child without an education and good job" (im 19 and graduated in 08) and ive heard "are you and your boyfriend getting married?" soo many times its getting so old! people can be so nosy!

Angie - posted on 07/10/2009

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I was 24 and had been married for 3 years when I got pregnant. I was working in a bookstore and a lady came in and told me that she was tired of young people like me getting pregnant and expecting her to support us! I was so shocked I didn't know what to say. I just said that I was 24 and married. She rolled her eyes and walked away!

Dawn - posted on 07/10/2009

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I have had a lot of stupid questions. My husband and I are heavily tattooed. He is a tattoo artist and I happen to be a third grade teacher. (I just wear long sleeve everyday.)
The first moment I found out I was pregnant I was asked If the baby would come out with tattoos. I would respond, "But of course we will make a tattooed baby!"
After she was born I was asked numerous times by random people when I was going to let her get her first tattoo because I have so many. My daughter was 2 months at the time. I would make light comments back or just laugh it off until it got REALLY old. I now respond back. " She is not wearing clothes. We tattooed and full body suit on her at birth." OR "She was born with a birth mark that is turning into a eagle as she grows!"
People tend to get the point that they have just asked something dumb.

Stacey - posted on 07/10/2009

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Oh ur living off ur husband too...nice to know I'm not the only one..not really. I contracted meningitis from my c-section about 17 months ago n still have problems...i tell him my answer n am blunt bout it. If they r goong to ask something that offensive then they should expect an offensive response. My fav is "You're not married?" or another fav "Your last name is different from your sons?" PPl r just rude. Next time shock them with something.



"What did you have?"

REPLY...I had a boy just trying to turn him gay now hence the dress he's wearing.

"Do you plan on getting rid of the baby fat?"

Reply....How far along are you? How are you gonna get rid of yours? Oh...you're not pregnant, I'm sorry. You should do something bout that...people are going to start talking.

"Arent you a lil young to be a mom?"

Reply...Didnt your mother ever teach you manners?

"Now that you're a mom, do you plan to go back to work or live off you husband?"

REPLY...My husband is gonna be my pimp since I'm so good at it..why do you think I'm a mom?



People are so rude and ignorant. Dont let it bother you. Good luckt to you.



BTW, I was 21 when I had my son and got married to the father last month when my son was 16 months old. Will be 23 this October and trying for another baby now.

Charlotte - posted on 07/10/2009

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I have had the 1st question plenty of times, because I've been told that I still look about 17 (I'm 24). To that I said, "what's it to do with you when I chose to have a child. By the way, not that's it's any of your business, I'm 24." I was asked earlier today while in town with my daughter (she was wearing a White dress with Red Roses on and a matching hat), what I'd had . I just looked at the person and asked them why they asked such a dumn question, wasn't it obvious, to which they tutted and walked away.

I haven't been asked if I'm going to go back to work or live off my husband though, mainly because we aren't married. But, because of this, I now keep getting asked "So, when are you going to get married?". I tell them that I have no plans to marry him any time soon. Oh, and I am going back to work.

I haven't been asked the last question, YET. But, I'm prepared for it. If anyone asks, I'll just tell them that as it took me 9 months to get to the size I am, I'm going to give it atleast 9 months to come off. And that I have much better things to do than go on a diet - such as the obvious of looking after my child.

The 1 question that I have been asked quite a few times is "So, when are you going to have another?" I even got asked that a week after having my daughter, she's only just 8 weeks old now and I'm still being asked it. It drives me crazy! My response to that question is "I don't plan to EVER have another." I love seeing the shocked looks on peoples faces. But it annoys me when they ask me why not, and don't I think I'm being selfish.

Am I the only 1 that's been asked this?.

Sabrina - posted on 07/10/2009

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I get the you look too young to have a kid statement. But no matter where I go I always here the question "Are they all yours?". I feel like saying no I just like taking the neighborhood out shopping.But I just smile and say yes. They never ask about the gender but I have had poeple call them the oppisite even if the kid is wearing a dress. I just smile and correct them.

[deleted account]

The only stupid question I get is when people ask about his siblings. I respond that he is an only child. I have been asked, "Don't you think you are being selfish by not giving him siblings?" @@. Fortunately I have only been asked that a few times and was not compelled to go off on a total stranger. I smiled instead.

Stephanie - posted on 07/10/2009

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Wow yea I've been there. I agree there ARE stupid questions.

To the first i've answered, well this is my son, and I AM his mother, so obviously I don't think I'm too young to be a mom since I already am one. (while in my head I'm thinkin did she really just ask that)

I've never got the "what did you have" question, but I got the "so what is he" (since I'm white & his father is black). How else do you respond but we'll he's a BABY.

When my fiance took our son (who has a pretty light complexion) out shopping a woman said "wow he's so light, how'd he get so handsome" and another asked "who's little guy is this" (when my fiance is the ONLY one around pushing him in the cart). Granted their skin color isn't the same but still...have some sense

[deleted account]

I thought I'd gotten the whole range of brain-dead questions, but some of the ones on your list are real winners. I'm normally pretty nice but "Do you plan on losing your baby weight?" and "Do you plan to go back to work or LIVE OFF YOUR HUSBAND?" would send me right over the edge. Not that I recommend YOU go off on them, of course. I think by being polite and calm you show that you are the better person than a nosy gossiper (which is the type of person who asks snotty questions like that). I've gotten the "Is it a boy or girl?" question when my daughter was wearing a lacy dress, a bow headband, lacy socks and black mary jane shoes. (I kid you not) Those questions are just so obviously simple minded that I just sweetly smile and say, "It's a girl." For the hostile, snotty questions I think it is perfectly reasonable and acceptable to say, "Um... that's not really any of your business" and smile sweetly and walk away.

Brandie - posted on 07/10/2009

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Well it's not so much as a question but , they said what a cute little girl and he was in blue and had a blue blanket with his name on it (JOHN) and I said oh thanks but hes a boy and yes I know he's cute enough to be a girl. Thanks and walked away. Yea ppl are rude sometimes but dont let them get u worked up. All of us young mothers get stuff like that im sure.

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