To circumcise or not?

Sharina - posted on 11/19/2009 ( 50 moms have responded )

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My husband and our first son are circumcised. Our sons from our previous marriages are circumcised. Our Dec. 2008 baby was not able to get circumcised immediately after birth because he was a preemie and they determined him to be too small(they actually measured his penis with a measuring tape). The insurance would only cover it if it was done within the first two weeks of life and then not again until twelve months of age. We have an appointment set for his circumcision in January. Since he is going to be twelve months old, they are going to have to use general anesthesia. I think the uncircumcised penis looks kind of funny. I'm just not sure if the benefits of circumcision(including him looking just like dad and brothers) are worth the risk of general anesthesia. What do you think?

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Nicole - posted on 11/23/2009

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well i live in the bahamas and my mom brought me up to believing that circumcisen is the better thing to do. My husband and son are cirumcised and basically all of the male in my family are i watched the doctor do everything with my son and found it to be very educational, but i was still scared as hell though lol all they did was injected the penis that was really the only painful part of it let it numb then put a rign around it and snip the extra foreskin off, the ansethesia worked well like i said its just the needle what they give you to numb it that hurts , you find that later down in life some males tend to have complications with either infections or tearing of the skin. i actually have and know quite a few adult males who were not circumcised and had to get it, these guys are in their thirties and forties. i think going thru that at their age is alittle more tramatizing to deal with than when they are small

Reigan - posted on 11/22/2009

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For people who say it is a myth that it is more sanitary its actually the truth my son is 22 months and I've had to see a pediatric urologist since he was 6 months. My doctor has told me on numerous occasions that it is healthy for many reasons but as far as he was concerned the most important is its healthier for the penis itself. When I gave birth to my son his embilical cord was wrapped around his neck 3 and a hald times. He came out not breathing and so blue he looked dead. His heart was beating for the first 2 minutes then they lost him. It wasn't until 5 minutes later (7 minutes after being born) that my son took his first breath. Because of that situation they initially told me he would have to stay in the nicu and wait to be circumcised. The next morning he was allowed to come stay in the room with me and a day later he was circumiced.
Sounds like everything would be good right? Nope, not good. The pediatrician that did my son circ. Screwed up and didn't take enough skin off. Leaving my son with a uncircumcised penis. I argued with his gp that his penis didn't look right and the doc just kept telling me he had a good sized penis and that is how it was going to look. At almost 6 months he started having swelling right at the head of the penis. We took him to a new pediatrician and was informed that my son needed to have surgery to recircumcise him. But this time he would have to be put under general anesthesia and it'd have to wait for him to be over a year. In thos six months while we waited. Some very disturbing things happened with my sons penis. I had different emergency room doctors tell me I wasn't cleaning it good enough or I was cleaning him to much and everytime I would see his urologist(who id have to travel 4 hrs to see) and explain what I was being told he would be shocked to hear how ignorant the doctors and nurses were to penile problems.
Regardless of all that drama his circumcision was done at 14 months old and when he came home his penis ballooned up to like 4 times the size of presurgery and it was dark purple and they prescribed tylenol with codeine for the pain and believe it or not. The day he had his surgery as soon as we got home he was trying to ride his rocking horse and climb on furniture and never once needed tylenol nevermind the codeine.

Whatever decision you make just know its the right one for your family cause no one can tell you what is or is not right for your family. Just wanted the overall point to be even at a year old they heal so fast and barely have discomfort.

Blackwood - posted on 11/20/2009

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It is up to you, but since you asked, I'll let you know how I seeit. My son was circed for a couple reasons.
1, my husband is and wouldn't know how to teach him how to clean, pee and yes when it comes time for "the talk.
2. CleaningI know that if cleaned right,problems shouldn't happen, but I hear they do.
3. I've heard and know a couple men that get it done when they are older (anywhere from 6-35 years). for problems or cosmetic reasons.
4. Jokes, people joke about "turtle necks"
5. Most people I talk too, mainly woman prefer it and yes, I'm his mom, but I would like one day for him to be in a happy relationship.
Hope this helps.

Laura - posted on 11/20/2009

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Well i know how you feel my son wasn't able to be circumcised either at birth due to a birth defect of the penis that 1 in 200 little boys are born with. I had to wait until my baby was 4 months old and I tell you I stressed my self out over the anthesthia and him being so little. But he came through with flying colors! with the help of a pain meds. I would recommend that you get this done as soon as possible he will do just fine, there is no sense in waiting until he is older and having him remember this pain. I think it was worse on the parent then on the child. Just remember that it is just a couple days of being uncomfortable and then it is over like nothing happened. I hope that this helps, Just remember that it will all be worth it when it is over.

BRANDI - posted on 11/20/2009

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they had to do my first son like that it was quick he wasn't out long and think would u want to fill someone cut down there i wouldn't i would want anesthesia 2 plus circumcised is alot cleaner and less to get infected But i have ran into a few men that wasn't one looked nasty and the other u would have never known i guess bc his size It didn't look like a worm hiding in a worm hole lol so i say YES 2 CIRCUMCISE

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Jodi - posted on 02/11/2011

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Sorry folks, this thread is over a year old, I'm locking it :)

Jodi Adams
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Isobel - posted on 02/11/2011

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I would assume that's because they don't want to risk plastic surgery on a child with jaundice!!! what's the problem here?

Ashley - posted on 02/11/2011

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i am going through the same thing as you sharina i wanted my son to be circumcised but down here they wait till ur discarge day to do the childs circumcision and on the day they we were going to be discharged they took him back to do it and dicovered that his jaundice level was too high to do the circumcision so he had to be transferred to another hospital and they wouldnt do it because he wasnt born at that hospital and when he was a month old i asked his doctor said we had to wait till he was a year old so he will be having his surgery on march 30 of this year so do what ever feels right to you and your husband

Naomi - posted on 11/23/2009

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My brother is not circumcised and he wishes that he was. He was also a premie and they would not do it. He made sure that his son was. He said that it was hard to keep up with. Circumsion is better in the long run. My SIL said that the first time she saw him it scared her but she didn't say anything cause she didn't want to hurt his feelings.

Carlyn - posted on 11/23/2009

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The idea that circ is cleaner and more healthy came from a World War II era study that showed that circ'ed GI's were less likely to catch STD's than GI's with a foreskin. The theory is that some of the fluids from the sexual act are caught under the forseskin, and that this prolonged contact permits for more transfer of STD's than the circ'ed men.

Also, there was a large press from the Jewish community to have more children circ'ed as the Nazi's would check the penises of little boys to determine who to send to the concentration camps. For these two reasons, most boys born after WWII were circ'ed.

My husband is not circ'ed, and I have to say that I couldn't care less. Penises look funny with our without their foreskin. When I was pregnant, I asked my husband about it and he said that cleaning it took all of 10 seconds, and a circ for a boy is like shaving their head to prevent lice. Does it work? Yes. But does good hygene also work? Yes.

In the end, I will say that circ'ed or uncirc'ed, your child will most likely be fine, healthy, and happy. When they grow up and fall in love, if it's really love their partner will not care what they look like one way or the other.

If you decide to do it, I would look into finding a doc who would do it under local rather than general anesthetic. Why take a chance if you don't need to?

Isobel - posted on 11/23/2009

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I hate to say it...it's not my body, I don't feel comfortable letting anyone cut a piece of it off.

Sharon - posted on 11/22/2009

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I'm not keen on general anesthetic either.

But if not now, then when? I think now is better than later too.

Natasha - posted on 11/22/2009

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I watched a show with an ER doctor who was part of the 'no' debate. His reason were, that he often saw penile accidents within the first few years of a boy's life and they needed the foreskin to do corrective surgery.

Shelly - posted on 11/22/2009

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I agree with Kirsten. Medically, there is no reason to circumcise. My husband and two of my sons are not and one of my sons is. Honestly, as far as cleanliness, if you take a bath daily, and wash ALL your parts, there is nothing to worry about. My sons have taken baths together since they were toddlers, they are now 5, 7, and 1. There has never been a question of why one is different. If you have been able to care for him uncircumcised, why put him through the trama of having the procedure. But, on the other hand, if it is that much of a concern for you as a family, and the dr assures you of no harmful side effects, maybe you should have it done. Sometimes social issues outweigh necessity.

Gay - posted on 11/21/2009

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this is hard for me to answer...since he isn't my son....but if you faith in your doctor then the anesthesia should not hurt him....my husband always thought of it more as a health hazard or not feeling as sanitary because he was not circumcised so that was the reason for our son being circumcised even though he was a preemie also...but they circumcised him at two weeks old before he left the hospital...he only weighed 4 1/2 lbs at birth...we had an excellent pediatrician.....so I feel your son will be okay...

Ashley - posted on 11/20/2009

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The main reason we got our son circumsized is because his dad is. I would deffinently get it done. plus it is cleaner. and will solve any problems that may help in the future. a little pain now and he wont remember later in life..
Good luck!

[deleted account]

I don't really agree with surgery unless its essential. my son was circumcised at age 2yrs 10mths, but only because it was affecting his health. his foreskin was so tight his penis would balloon when he needed to wee, germs would get trapped underneath and it was impossible to clean.
why put his life at risk just for cosmetic reasons???

Jaimee - posted on 11/20/2009

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My brother wasn't circumcised but needed to have it done when he was 15 because of health problems. I think the younger they are, the easier it is to do... good luck! My oldest was done in the hospital after I delivered. I had to take my younger son to the doctor after I had him and have it done right in the doctor's office while I held him down... not fun!

Thelma Ama - posted on 11/20/2009

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The bible says that, when you have a son on the eight day he should be circumcised. I didn't see any thing wrong in circumcision. Their penis looks nice, it doesn't have any fore skin around it. Every male child in my family is circumcised. There is nothing wrong wiht circumcision

Ashley - posted on 11/20/2009

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I think you should do it. Where are you from? I live in NC, and insurance stopped paying for circumcisions, so we have to pay cash to the hospital before they will do it! I've heard there are much more benefits of getting circumcised than not. But, that decision is totally up to the parents! I think he'll be fine. Good luck!

Shelly - posted on 11/20/2009

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EXPERIENCED IN BOTH SITUATIONS!!!!!!!

My ex-husband is not circumcised. From experience I know that sex is a lot more UNCOMFORTABLE, we had so many problems in that area. As the other women said, it takes more to clean them, too! Being males, they aren't real big on perfectly clean as it is, especially not at a young age. My 1st boy had to wait until after he was 12 months, too, but that was b/c they won't put a child under until they are at least a year & they won't do the circumcision w/o putting them under after they turn 7 days. The 1st day was a hassle b/c after he came from the surgery, he was not a happy camper, they told me we couldn't leave until he peed, so they were steady putting juice down him, word of advice, DO NOT GIVE HIM JUICE AFTER! My boy got diarrhea so bad it got his bandage filthy and we had to take it off the 1st part of the day. He didn't want to eat so what I did was heated some soup & put it in a sippy cup so he thought he was getting "drink" he was really getting nutrition! He was walking by the end of the 1st day, yet it was uncomfortable for him. The 2nd day he felt much better, still not 100%. All in all, from an experienced in both areas mom, I would say all the way, go with the circumcision!!!!

Edna - posted on 11/20/2009

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I am a greatmother and we are looking at the same with an offspring. His Doctor has examined him at eighteen months and has reconmended we wait until he is two and she will check again. Good luck no matter what you decide. Prayers are with you

Jenna - posted on 11/20/2009

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I think you should do it! My brother-in-law 26yrs is not and hate's it. It does bring more pleasure during sex if your not. But if he is not secure with himself then it is pointless if the sex is better. I have three boys my two oldest are done and my youngest step son is not. I had to potty train my youngest.. to be honest I freaked out!! Then my boys saw his penis and freaked out.. I know!! I had to talk to my boys and inform them not to make an issue out of it, I didn't want him to be hinder when he grew up. Since he is not the same as dad and brothers. My step son is 3yrs and I have started looking into, for the fear of health and his mental security in his body has he grows. My fear is that when he is not at home with us and leaves for visitation to his other family no one will watch over him to make sure he stays clean with out an infection or he will get an infection away from home and might be very bad when he gets back. I think even if I make it a HUGH issue to keep it clean when he is away, he is still a boy and will forget or just not want to bath and no one will push it. I notice when he is away for 2 days he come home and smells foul when his skin is pushed back.
I would think that having the chance of getting infection through out life would be worse then 2-3 days of pain as a kid!! He will spend more time in pain then he did with it done!
I am a christian who loves God more then anything!! For the religious aspect, it was a commandment in the old testament time for the proof of faith. For new testament it is not a commandment.. Jesus died for us, so if we believe he died for us, confess our sins and believe he rose on the third day (believe in your heart). We should not have to circumsize our children for this purpose- proving faith. HOWEVER think about it.. God is all knowing and does things to benefit us, to keep us happy, healthy and strong!! If he made it an issue to have it done then maybe we should too. He does know best!! I don't believe he made them do it watch them be in pain nor did he have glory in their pain. He wanted them to be healthy. I bet there was less infection!! Good Luck! God Bless.

Betsy - posted on 11/20/2009

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People have strong views on both sides of this issue. Moms with uncircumsized sons find they don't feel the bacteria is an issue, and I do believe with good hygiene, that may bot be an issue. It may become one as the child becomes elderly, as the foreskin doesn't retract for cleaning in old age, but that is more of an issue in nursing homes and end of life care.

I personally prefer circumcision. My husband and all 4 sons are. My 19 yr old once weighed in when we were having the baby boys and told me if we hadn't circumsized him, he would have it done now and would be ticked lol. That is more of a social opinion, though we are happy he approved of his genitalia lol.

There really is no right answer, but rather your and your husband's opinion and concerns. As for pain, I held all 4 of my boys during the procedure. Three slept through it, and one was awake and didn't cry at all. I had more of a problem with the typical restraining, which makes babies cry even when no procedure is done, so I chose to hold them myself.

Summer - posted on 11/20/2009

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In my experience, I have a son who is circumsized as is my husband. My husband and I are considering having another child and if it's a boy, my husband DOES NOT want him circumsized!! My husband has had some issues growing up with his circumcision. He was done as a baby and had to be redone as a young boy. This caused him a lot of pain and has affected him in ways that I can not and dare not say. It has scarred him not physically , but emotionally!! Everyone is different and is entitled to their own decisions. Ultimately it is something you and your husband have to decide on. I wish you all the luck in your difficult decision!!!

[deleted account]

There is no medical reason...and as far as sex - I cant say its made any difference in my sex life if someonesa bad lover then theyre a bad lover foreskin or not! Really what it comes down to is personal choice - mine would be an emphatic not worth it but this is not my child and so my opinion doesnt matter - yours does, so look at the situation and gather information and sit down with hubby and make a decision together..just my twopence :)

Gay - posted on 11/20/2009

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I gave birth to twins...girl and boy...prematurely...and my answer is circumcise..My husband had not been circumcised...but when his son was born...he said circumcise ....

Michelle - posted on 11/19/2009

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Like some of the other moms have mentioned ... it's more of a health thing. Both my boys are circumcised. Really only you can make the decision if the surgery is worth it.
Good luck on your decision!

Gloria - posted on 11/19/2009

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I really do not know what the diference that can be in sex life, but what we know is good to be circuncise for healthy reasons, I did have a son and he wasnt circunsise and now he is a dad and he circunsice his son, he ask me if that was ok, and answer the same way, do it because is healthy, others maybe do it for religious reasons. I think if the doctors are sure about the age of your son, go for it. Best wishes.

Jamie - posted on 11/19/2009

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My husband is not so he was against it from the start. I did a lot of research and couldn't find a good enough reason to have our son done. If I were you I would just do some research and then figure out what you want to do. It will be very painful for him at this age. No he probably won't remember it but if he hasn't had any problems with it so far then I would just leave him how he is.

Alison - posted on 11/19/2009

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This is just up to your judgment as parents!!! There is NO medical reason to circumcise, in fact a lot of research suggests there is less risk of infection with uncircumcised males who have been taught to properly clean themselves. And there is MUCH less risk of infection for young boys, as no special cleaning is needed for the first few years (i.e., no need to push back foreskin). It is purely a cosmetic decision. Personally, I chose not to circumcise my son. But if my hubby and other son had been circumcised, I probably would chose circumcision, but I would have done it MUCH earlier. A this point there is higher risk of infection probably and I would be very concerned about the general anesthesia. I would definitely find a doctor who would do a local anesthetic, rather than general.



I have researched, and there ARE local options, so your son does NOT have to be put under general anesthesia if you find a doctor who will do a local pain reliever, which will then have much lower risk associated.

Megan - posted on 11/19/2009

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It may be painful now, BUT from what our dr had told us when making the decision as to whether or not to have our son curcumcized, the benefits outway the negatives. My husband is circumcized, and was the one who was questioning the necessity. After speaking with the Dr, the only choice reasonable was to have the procedure.

Shyanne - posted on 11/19/2009

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I think it is a personal choice. My bf and I had a huge debate over this topic. He is not, so of course he didnt want our son to be. I wanted him to be circumsized. But there is no support either way. We ended up not getting it done. If you guys decide its what you want done I think its worth the risks of anesthesia

Sharina - posted on 11/19/2009

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wow, thanks for all of your feedback everyone! I will discuss the points you have made with my husband and prayerfully we will make the right decision.

Kristen - posted on 11/19/2009

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My oldest son had to be circumcised at 1 because I opted to decline at birth. But it got infected even with cleaning it the way it was supposed to be. He was put under and was perfectly fine when he woke up, other than being in pain for about 2 days. But I think it would be the best thing in the long run. I know a man who had to have it done about 2 years ago, and it took him nearly a month to heal. It's your decision overall, and I'm sure you'll make the right one...Kristen

Vanessa - posted on 11/19/2009

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I went through the exact same thing with my son, I did not have him circumsized, instead I decided that if it was a big deal to him when he was about 16 I would pay for it then, he is 11 now and does not care, he has never said anything about it so far anyway.

Chrissy - posted on 11/19/2009

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ok that sounds really painful for the little fella. specially since he is what 12 months now. i dont think he will remember it but i know it will break ur heart seeing him in pain if ur in there with him while he is having it done.

i dont have a son of my own but I have heard that if it isnt circumsized then they have alot of problems out of it. with gettin infections and such. If it was me I think id go ahead and have it done.

Catrice - posted on 11/19/2009

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I think you should get it done. One of my mid-wives told me the same thing and because this was my 1st baby i listened. The only thing was, he was actually not to young. My baby is now 14 months and every where I go wants 1100-1500 bucks. I would do it if I were you because the longer you waite the more it will cost and the more pain he will be in.

Kylie - posted on 11/19/2009

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In the UK its not common to circumcise anymore and hasn't been for quite some time. My husband isn't circumcised. So my son hasn't been done either, and he was born in may (he was premmie too)

I actually do think that being circumcised is a little easier on the cleanliness front, but as long as you teach your boy from a young age it needn't be an issue. I used to work as a carer, and all our uncirmcised men used to get thrush quite regularly as not all carers were fastidious about cleaning under the foreskin, and they couldn't do it themselves.

Although it wouldn't be my choice, he will be fine under the anesthesia. Joseph is now six months and just had his hernia done under a general anesthetic, and was absolutely fine.

Kristen - posted on 11/19/2009

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I've had all 3 of my sons circumsized.. They've never had a problem or issue with infection etc. My sister in law chose not to circumsize my nephew however.. Poor kid had constant infections and finally got circumsized when he was I think 6 years old.. It was hell for him. I'd rather have it done when the baby dont know any better, dont remember it, .. then when he's older and being put thru that.

Heather - posted on 11/19/2009

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I have one son that is circumsized and one that isn't. I wish I would of never circumsized my oldest, but I was young and didn't know better. My husband isn't circumcised and when it comes to his future and sex, when hard, there is barely a difference. However, something you may want to consider, for your son's sake, is that the foreskin of the penis contains SEVERAL sensitive nerve endings that, contrary to the belief of some, make sex more pleasurable. As for cleaning, your pediatrician will show him what needs to be done when that time comes. Pulling back the foreskin can actually be harmful until the child reaches a certain age. I just don't see the sense in putting my son under general anesthesia and surgery just to blend in with what society thinks is the norm. More and more mothers are choosing NOT to circumcise, so when your son grows up, other girls his age probably aren't going to even think twice about it.

Chasity - posted on 11/19/2009

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It is a lot easier to get it done at an early age, I waited until my boys was 4 and 6 and it was not pretty, Although they taught me to clean it he still ended up with bacteria. I say do it earlier than later. The pain the boys was in was unbearable for me to watch but it had to be done. Thats just my experience.

Ashley - posted on 11/19/2009

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I think it is a personal decision. If it is important to you that he be the same as his father and brothers then go for it. I have not heard of a circumcision killing anyone. If it is the anesthesia you are worried about then i would think of it this way.. If he broke his arm in a year or two and needed surgey, or or anyoter reasion needed to have surgery he was have to go under anesthesia. Unless there is real risk (because of heart problems and what not) it should not effect him other than being sleepy for a day or two.

Cristina - posted on 11/19/2009

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There is no medical reason to circumcise.

We had a son in May and we didn't do it. It's very easy to keep clean and we didn't have to deal with gauze pads dabbed with ointment, nor did we have to deal with the initial pain/fussiness in the first few days afterwards.

[deleted account]

It is a myth that the penis will be cleaner. You just need to learn how to care for it properly. There is no medical reason to circumcise a boy and most cultures in the world do not do it. But if circumcision will make your husband and you more comfortable with the cleaning and care of his penis then it is probably worth the risk of anesthesia.

Jennifer - posted on 11/19/2009

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i think it is up to you and what you think will be best. i went back and forth with it too because my boyfriend isnt and i didnt want my son to think he was different when he grew up if i did it. we ended up getting it done and they used a local anesthetic through a needle and believe when i tell you it was not the easiest thing to go through with him. i ended up staying in the room the whole time and it was by far the hardest thing i have ever done! but like i was saying, it will make life easier when he is young because you wont have to worry about making sure he is cleaning it correctly but i have also heard that when they get old, there is a huge risk for infection because they cannot clean it as well. i think its up to you but after thinking about it with my son, it seems like a good idea for him...

[deleted account]

My brother was very upset that his penis looked different from my dad's. He wanted it to look exactly the same. My mom spent a lot of time explaining to him why he was circumcised and my dad wasn't. But, until he learned how to push the skin back and clean it properly, my dad had problems with infections and he didn't want my brother to go through the same thing. A doctor had to teach him and his mother how to clean it.

Jennifer - posted on 11/19/2009

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I've heard that getting circumcised helps with as far as when your an adult it suppposedly helps with sex, less bacteria leads to cleaner penis and less chance of giving your lady diseases or types of cancer. I would think it would be easier to clean and all I her from freinds around me is circumcised is what they'd "prefer" in a man lol. But My man and son are both circumcised also so I have never had a run in with an uncircumcised penis.

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