To Pacify or Not to Pacify-That is a Very Good Question

Ghostdarlin - posted on 01/27/2009 ( 49 moms have responded )

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My daughter does not want her daughter to have a pacifier when she is born(she is 25 weeks pregnant). I also did not give either of my children a pacifier when they were babies as my husband and I both were against them. She feels the same way as I did...if a baby needs to cry, let them cry. If they need to yell, let them yell. If they want to let you know something is wrong, let them be heard!

I will be having a baby shower for her in a little over a month. She's already let people know she isn't using one and everyone keeps pushing it saying she should. The baby's father doesn't see it as a big deal because his mother used one and so does his sister on her baby. I will be caring for the baby when she goes back to college and he is at work, and I don't want the baby to depend upon a pacifier to stay peaceful or happy and learn to talk and communicate well. I have found babies who have them are hard to break of the habit and have even seen some 3 year olds with them.

What is your experience as a mother? Did you use a pacifier or did you not and why? What is your views? I'm curious. I know I like to talk and wouldn't want people sticking something in my mouth to keep me quiet! LOL

Thanks!
Jody

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Kate - posted on 08/07/2009

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My older daughter had one sometimes until she was about 2 months old. We took it away after that, once we were past the newborn fussiness. It was hard to get her to sleep sometimes without it, hard to settle her down. I do not believe in letting newborns scream. She needed it because she was feeding from a bottle (I was pumping) and sometimes she just needed to suck a little more. Once I stopped pumping and started nursing she lost interest in it anyway.

My second is only 3 weeks old and is nursing but he gets a pacifier if he is very fussy or if I am not available temporarily. Sometimes his tummy hurts (we've discovered some food sensitivities) and he needs to suck for comfort but nursing just makes the problem worse. We offer a clean finger first but sometimes he will not take that. I don't want to let him scream because crying, especially frantic crying, raises babies' stress levels and causing problems. I try feeding, changing, swaddling, changing positions, rocking, etc. first and if nothing works to settle him, then I will offer the pacifier. But again we will take it away after 2 - 3 months so that he never even remembers having it. He also does not get it at bedtime ever. It is only a last resort, during the day, to soothe him.

I do not think that pacifiers used for a few months as a last resort are a bad thing. I do think if they are popped in the kid's mouth for every little cry, or are used all day, or are used until 2 - 3 - 4 years of age, that they are bad. Sometimes tiny ones just need to suck (my milk supply happens to let down forcefully, my kids have to gulp the milk, even my toddler sometimes, so nursing is not always a good option for fussy babies. This would not be true for a woman whose milk supply was different). Babies have different needs than adults too. Most adults wouldn't like to be wrapped tightly with their arms at their sides either, but babies do (swaddling). I think you need to understand and meet your baby's needs rather than thinking of them like mini adults.

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Crystal - posted on 04/24/2011

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i used a pacifier with my oldest she had until she was almost 3 after 18 months it was mainly for going to sleep and her teeth are fine my youngest also uses one at 20 months and she's fine it all depends on the baby some babies wont even take one but if they do it's not a bad thing it's also been proven to help prevent SIDS sucking is a natural urge that babies have

Sarah - posted on 08/08/2009

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My daughter is five months old now and she used a pacifier from about two and a half months to about four months. At first she would comfort nurse alot - and I had enough milk and time to let her do so. Unfortunately, when she would fall asleep she would lose her latch and semi-suck which chapped my nipples severely. She would also spit up alot of the milk which came out when she was just comforting herself.

We used the pacifier at bedtime and sometimes in the car if we were stuck in traffic. She never really had a problem of waking in the night wanting it. At about four months, she started sucking her thumb so we just stopped offering the pacifier all together.

I think the pacifier can be useful, but it should not be used to space out feedings. A great baby book, Baby 411 recommends stopping any pacifier use at around four months which worked out great for us.

Jessica - posted on 08/07/2009

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Whatever the baby takes. Both my sons suck their thumbs. They didn't want a pacifier, so whatever works for them will have to work for me. My oldest who is now 26 months only has his thumb in his mouth when he has his blanky with him. No blanky, no thumb. One day he hopfully will get rid of both at the sametime just like their dad at the age of 5.

Ashley - posted on 08/07/2009

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i gave one to my first son. he is now 15 months and only uses it for nap time and bed time. he needs it to fall asleep and then he spits it out. if he happens to wake up with it in his mouth i ask him for it and he hands it to me then it goes on top of the fridge where he cant see it. he was really sick at birth and spent 2 months in the hospital and if having his soother made him feel better then so be it. my 2nd son who is 5 wks doesnt want one so we dont even offer it to him. i think it depends on the baby. some seem to need it and others dont.

[deleted account]

I actually used a pacifier for my daughter but after the first two months she decided she didn't need one and rather chew on her blankets because she liked the texture better. She even took one of my old stuff animals I had lying around and claimed it as her own until we bought her a minnie mouse doll. She chewd on that thing for a while now it's just a comfort toy.

Bri - posted on 08/07/2009

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I think far too many parents/grandparents use paci because they can't be bothered to figure out what baby wants- is baby hungry? wet? poopy? something is pinching? bored? tired of being in the swing and wants someone to play?

I did not want to use paci because I believe that all other reasons should be checked first- dry, fed, well rested, etc. There are times when paci or something is better than mom losing it frustrated, or maybe baby does just want to suck, but those aren't regular things. I didn't want our child to be dependent on a paci to get to sleep, etc. and then have to break that habit later. Course, I also believe that parents shouldn't go running at the first squeak out of baby- let baby settle self and learn to comfort self. Erks the snot out of me to see a 2-3 year old walking into a store slurping on a paci.

It took a while but hubby came to my reasoning BUT he comes from a family where paci is standard.Even had a family member who would wiggle the paci into baby's mouth until he took it. Even hubby's best friend believes that as soon as the kid starts crying, shove paci in mouth- doesn't even bother to figure out baby is soaked or hasn't been fed/starving.

We did end up trying a paci maybe a dozen times, especially with the research talking about paci use at bedtime presenting SID's but baby just didn't take to it much and we didn't push it any further, which was perfectly ok! Somehow we did get lucky and she didn't turn to thumb sucking either.

It is your daughters choice though and the best thing "the village" can do, is respect mom's wishes (unless it will actually harm baby physically, mentally or emotionally), and speak honestly if she asks for your opinion. And you may just have to step in and speak up to others "hey, I know you mean well, but she has chosen to X for her own reasons".... this can mean much more to your daughter and she may be more likely to look to you for advise on other things.

Cathralynn - posted on 08/07/2009

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Thousands of years ago they ddn't have pacifiers, did they? What did they do for their babies innate need to suck? Just a thought.

Melody - posted on 08/07/2009

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I have only been a new mother for 7 months and my baby has had a pacifier since she was born, but she is kinda weening herself off of it now. I never really had to use it a lot as she is a very good baby. The only time i really found it helped was when she was having one of her crying episodes where she would cry for like 30 mins. I think it is, each to their own about wanting or not wanting to use pacifiers for their babies .

Cathralynn - posted on 08/07/2009

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I never wanted one either, my friends called them plugs. I figure your baby is crying to be heard and have its needs taken care of. But my hospital recommended pacifiers to soothe babies and then take them away at 6mo. I didn't do it and actually put into my birthplan absolutely no pacifiers. I got them for my shower but just gave them away. And instructed my MIL no way, she is my daycare. My daughter never missed them and self soothes really well. She also doesn't suck her thumb or anything like that which is what some moms say. Easier to take away a pacifier than their thumb, that's crap. Do what you want. You can change your mind if it gets difficult. Believe me you will on something!

Nancy - posted on 08/07/2009

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I dont see anything wrong with them. Have used one since she was born. By the time they hit 3 they have a blanket or soothing piece of cloth. I've never seen kids over the age of 3 with a dummy. If it prevents her sucking her thumb then it suits me fine

Lisa - posted on 01/29/2009

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I agree with the 3yo w/ a paci rather than thumb sucking at 6; however, both are bad habits that one should try to stop.

Lisa - posted on 01/29/2009

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Hi Jody:



I am a mother of four little boys, who are now fa beyond the "paci" stage. The pacifier is not meant to be used to "shut the kid up" it is meant to be used because small babies just have a need of sucking on things. My first child refused the pacifier, which he would have actually really benefited from as he was pre-term and had to be taught how to suckle, but he would just spit the thing across the room as have it in his mouth. I rarely used one for my next two, as they were not really 'into it". however, my fourth son took to it well, and it was a lifesaver when I knew he was not hungry, but needed to fulfill his need to suck. I simply took it from him at age 4 months, per his pediatricians instructions, as he developed a mild case of thrush and I did not want him to keep the thrush. The Ped. said that the choice of using a pacifier is mostly an issue of personal choice, but it is not bad to have it for the first few months. However, it is simply a useless, habit after 3 months. the longer the child uses it the harder it is to break them from it. I had no problem breaking my son at 4 months. I will go on to say, and this is just my opinion now, that if one chooses to give the "paci" to their child and the child likes it...they really should not try to break them from it before 3 1/2 months old.



Lisa Hill

Chantel - posted on 01/29/2009

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I did use the pacifier but she gave it up on her own when she was about 6 months old. I have to say I would use it again! I don't like to here her cry and she used that as a comfort so I don't see anything wrong with it. If she hadn't given it up on her own though I would have taken it by the time she was a year. I too have seen 3 year olds with them and I think thats a bit much but to each their own.

Audrey - posted on 01/29/2009

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I see where you're coming from darling, I'm a grandma too.  My first baby was a born sucker!  He was breast-fed and used to suck from me so greedily it would be running down his neck and into his ears.  Then he would  throw half of it back up down my shoe!  He had 3-month colic (ha! not surprisingly) and absolutely nothing would shut him up except his "dummy".  He was down to occasional day-time use at around 18 months but held onto it until the age of 4 at night-time. 



My second baby was a neat, polite feeder who never spilled a drop and he dropped the use of his dummy around 5 months old.



They're all different.  Something I was told, though, by a health professional is that a baby is born with a "need" to suck - nature's survival mechanism.  This need is stronger in some than others and is felt by some babies as an urgent and genuine need even when their tummies are full.  The only comparison they gave to explain it to me was that it was equivalent in strength to the sex drive of an average teenager!  It is not just felt as a need for food, but as a need for comfort.  That's why they call them comforters or soothers.



I included a couple of dummies in a baby shower gift to my daughter-in-law, so that she had that option available; I remembered those long nights of crying and the helpless feeling of being able to do nothing to help my baby and I remembered too the old saying, that anything that's going to happen to a child will inevitably happen in the middle of the night when the shops are shut or on a Sunday when its hard to get a doctor out! 



She may have a baby who does not need or want a dummy; some of them just spit it straight out and give you an alarmed and accusing stare!  She may, on other hand, have a little "sucker" who will drive her (and you) crazy until that little bit of soft rubber is popped in his mouth! 



I agree with you, I think its looks awful when you see a 4 year old walking around with a dummy in it's mouth.  It makes the kid look a bit neglected doesn't it?  It also interferes with speech at a certain age.  On the other hand, if you have a "thumb-sucker" they can end up needing orthodontal treatment for buck teeth, I think a dummy is a much better option as its softer and won't push teeth out of alignment.  Some kids have a little "blankie" for comfort don't they?  Or the ear of a favourite toy!  I just found a dummy more portable and easier to sterilise while they were tiny.



Babies soon learn that Mummy is not a 24-hr entertainment system available to them at the drop of a hat (!) and willing to rock them to sleep at their every whim and they develop ways of comforting themselves.  This is healthy.  To me, a dummy is simply an option.  Like you, I abhor the idea of using a dummy just to "shut baby up"; rather than spend the time and effort needed to fulfil the little one's needs.  But I never used dummies in this way and neither did my daughter-in-law.  After the first few months, which can be a rocky time, we both found that we simply used a dummy to help them get off to sleep - as a comforter, literally, which is their purpose.



I've known friends get really snobby about the use of dummies and declare self-righteously throughout their pregnancies that their child will never have one; only to find them, a few weeks after birth, sheepishly purchasing one late at night at the corner shop!  Ah, babies are great social levellers aren't they?



To me, a dummy is not a "should" or a "shouldn't" but its very handy if it soothes the child to sleep.  Also it will not stop the child letting you know if something is wrong.



I also agree with the father that its really not a big deal.  And we should not care what other people think; we should have the confidence and common-sense to do what is best for our own unique child regardless of the opinions of others.



Well congratulations, darling, on being a grandma!  You're going to absolutely love it!  I hope all goes well for your daughter; she is lucky to have such a caring and supportive Mum.  I send you all my very warmest wishes.  xx

Kira - posted on 01/29/2009

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Kids are funny.  Some kids "need" a pacifier while others are just as content not to have one.  I wish that my kids would have taken one.  Niether of my girls would take the pacifier, and now I'm stuck trying to break a set of thumb suckers.  A pacifier you can take away, or cut the tip off and tell the child it broke.  but unfortunantly that isn't exactly possible if the child goes for the thumb instead.

Ann - posted on 01/29/2009

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My daughter always had a very strong sucking reflex and found her hand early on.  She was 2 months preemature and the NICU gave her a paci.  When she got home she really didnt want it unless she was tired, and then not always..so it may depend on the baby wehter or not they get hooked on them, at almost 7 months we rarely use it but always have one handy just in case....

Samantha - posted on 01/29/2009

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I have 4 kids my first had one in hospital didn't like it when she got home, my second hated it from the start he liked being fed my third didnt even get the option she didnt know what she was missing and my fourth who is almost 7 months old I didn't give her one either but at 3 months old I let her try one and she looked at me as if to say what am I supposed to do with that. It's up to the parent but if ya don't introduce something they don't know what they are missing like my youngest is enjoying water and loving it so im sticking to if ya dont introduce they dont know what they are missing

[deleted account]

I grew up helping my mom with her at home daycare center, and with my (much) younger siblings. My mother was very much against paci's then, so that meant I was too. Then I got pregnant and did some research on it. After much thought, I'd rather have a child who sucks on a paci rather than her thumb. When I'm ready for my child to wean off the paci, I can cut a little bit off of it each day until it's too much work for her to suck on it anymore. I can't cut off pieces of my child's thumb. I did read that there are plenty of studies that show babies that use paci's have quicker and stronger brain development. Not sure how much I believe such studies, but whatever. Oh, and I'd rather my child suck a paci when she just wants to keep busy rather than on a bottle of milk and become an overweight baby because they were eating when they weren't even hungry (I've had friends who had babies like that). Now, that being said, I did try to get my daughter to suck on a paci... she didn't want to have anything to do with them. I do believe that babies decide if they like them or not. If they do, you can control when they get them, and when they are weaned. I would say to accept them, tuck them away in a drawer just in case. It's better to have them and not need them than to not have them and need them, you know? Also, realize that both parents should have a say in the matter. If the dad wants his child to have a paci, it's his child. I know that you're the care provider, but it's his child.

Jess - posted on 01/29/2009

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I felt exactly the same, I hated pacifers, from seeing my friends child having one till the age of 4, i was put right off. But when it came to it, after 5 days of no sleep, my health visitor suggested I tried it, and it worked a magic. My son is now 7 months old and we are in the process of weaning him off it. She should do whatever feels right and whatever gives her more sleep coz she's going 2 need it! I started my collage courese just 3 months after giving birth, although it was hard it is possible and all worthwhile. Good luck!

Jen - posted on 01/29/2009

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My son uses a dummy I wanted him to use it as he was sucking all the time on his two finger and I can not take his fingers away when he gets older and keeps sucking them which can cause dental problems. But i can take the dummy away. I would not of offered him the dummy if he was not a finger thumb sucker. I have two other children they also had a dummy i took them away when i thought it was time they where upset for a few days thats all.

Kylie - posted on 01/29/2009

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Hey, my daughter has a dummy, mainly because we had many problems getting her to breastfeed when she was newborn, i didnt mind her having the dummy as long as she wasnt totallly dependent on it. She is just reaching 2 now and only has it at bedtime. She herself spits them out once she is awake and isnt interested in them unless she is very very VERY upset or is ready for bed. So i think i depends a lot on the child. Some kids are happy without them where as others will scream down the house until they have one. So really it all depends on the circumstances and the child.

Linda - posted on 01/29/2009

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Hi Jody,



I gave my oldest son a pacifier, as my mother insisted that every child should have one. He was one of those kids that you have seen walking around with one when he was three. It was so hard to break him of it, and lord help us all if he misplaced it when he was playing. Finally "Froggie" replaced the soother.



I never gave my next two children a pacifier, and they turned out just fine.



Now when I meet someone who is pregnant, and wants advice, I tell them to not give their baby a soother.



Grant it, this is just my personal experience, but I hope that it answers your question Jody.



Linda

[deleted account]

Not one child is the same as another. It is up the parent/gardian whether to use or not to use. If you choose to use do not let other opinions to upset you.  What is best for chld & you.

[deleted account]

Quoting Deb:



PS- Regarding other folks, just do as you would with any piece of unwanted advice. Say thanks, then ignore it. Recycle gifted pacifiers to others who need them or find a local charity to donate them.






That's a great idea!  Simple and doesn't offend anyone.

Deb - posted on 01/28/2009

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Hmmmm, I didn't use one with my oldest because he refused it! I was his pacifier. He was my intense baby. My youngest was more willing to take one but I didn't use it much because generally speaking I feel that if a baby is crying or fussing he/she is trying to communicate a need...even if it is just "I need a cuddle". (I don't believe in just letting a baby cry. They need to be reassured that when they need us we are there for them. Responding to a baby when it cries helps to make them feel secure and builds self-confidence.) Mostly with my youngest I would give it to him at nap time not to prevent crying but simply as something to soothe. He never became that attached to it and it was a simple matter to stop using it. I admire the resolution not to use but I think that each child is different and the decision needs to be made on an individual basis. If you can teach the baby other ways to self-soothe then fine but you may find that a pacifier is what works. Good luck!



PS- Regarding other folks, just do as you would with any piece of unwanted advice. Say thanks, then ignore it. Recycle gifted pacifiers to others who need them or find a local charity to donate them.

Corinne - posted on 01/28/2009

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P.s. - my parents never gave my brother a pacifier, so he used his thumb instead. Now he's got some nasty scars from it.



If it soothes them, then go for it. If they're content without it, go without :)

Corinne - posted on 01/28/2009

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I've never been against pacifiers, unless it's a 3 year old who still totes one around.



My daughter has been using one since she was a month old, and I find she was pretty content with it.



She's now a 13months, and I only give it to her when she's throwing a mini fit over something. I don't find that she's dependent on it, which is nice. When she hits 18 months though, it's so gone :)



But about the part of letting a baby cry - I've read and been told that it's stressful on the child, which of course is unhealthy.



I guess it depends if the child has an addictive personality. That will determine whether they rely on it or not...



 

Heather - posted on 01/28/2009

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My first son rarerely took a pacifier.  My second did for four months and refused it after that.  It's really based on the child and what they are comfortable with.  I introduced my sons to the pacifier because I thought it would help them with teething and soothing them in between feedings.  It worked for my youngest more so than the first.   You're right, it is harder for some children to break the habit but, what are you going to do?  My two and half year old just recently gave up his bottle.  I didn't force him because it made him comfortable.



I never used pacifier to keep them quiet at all, I never looked at it that way, for me it was more to soothe them as they adjust to life on the outside.

Trisha - posted on 01/28/2009

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My daughter is 9 months old and she has used one sense she was a newborn. The reason I chose to use it is they say it reduces the risk of Sids. She really doesnt use it unless she is teething or needed to be soothed by sucking. At the moment we can go all day with out it and she only needs it to fall asleep some nights. But you tell your daughter to do whatever she thinks is best for her baby!

Heather - posted on 01/28/2009

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I was against using one for my son (first born) and was sure he would suck his thumb like i did but that isn't what happened. I spent the first four days with him almost constantly attached to me and screaming when he wasn't. When my midwife visited she sent my partner out to get one - just to try! - It was such a relief when he stopped screaming and he found it easy to give it up before he was 2. I also had to change to bottle feeding him when he was 6 weeks old. My first daughter also had a dummy although i was able to breasstfeed her until she was 1 and she gave hers to the new baby when she was 2 1/2 but when my second daughter came along she wouldn't have a bottle or a dummy and i breastfed her until she was 2. I believe that you should do whatever works for the baby and you. Until your bundle of joy arrives you can plan to do this and that but be prepared to bend and change your mind because they have their own mind and personality and will ultimately make a lot of the decisions for you!!! good luck!

Julie - posted on 01/28/2009

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My husband was dead set against pacifiers before my son was born, but we quickly changed our minds once he was here. We only used it for sleeping and in the car seat, and now at 4 months old, he hardly uses it all. We only gave it to him when he seemed to really need it, and he doesn't anymore.

He has found his thumb, though. I know that it can be harder to break a thumb sucking habit, but I'm just glad I don't have to get up 3 times a night to find his pacifier for him anymore. I hear him wake up, and then his thumb goes in his mouth and he puts himself back to sleep.

[deleted account]

The nurses in the hospital always stuck a binky in my daughter's mouth. It never bothered me one way or the other. I knew when I was 20 weeks pregnant that my daughter would be a "sucker", she was sucking her thumb during the ultrasound! When, we brought her home from the hospital, she didn't seem to want the binky. She was never much of a crier, so we didn't have a whole lot to worry about. Now, at 10 months old, she uses her binky collection as chew toys. But we always know when she's tired, because in goes the thumb.

A pacifier doesn't always have to be a bad thing. If the baby only needs it when he/she needs comfort, then let it be, I say.

If you are refusing the pacifier just because you don't want to wean them off it later (I don't know if that's your reason, but I know moms who have that train of thought), then I say this: I don't want my daughter to ever have a broken heart either, but that doesn't mean I won't ever let her date. Just something to think about.

Paci or no paci - do whatever makes the baby happy. There's no such thing as spoiling an infant.

User - posted on 01/28/2009

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Im not against them or for them, its a choice. I didnt give one to my boy simply because he was fine without he didnt want something to just suck on. but i do take care of another baby he's almost two and he wont take it out to talk, so i started to take it away when he's here during he day and he does fine, doesnt cry for it... not even when i take it away. but once his parents show up they find it right away and pop it in his mouth... so if your going to use to make your baby quiet... thats just not fair.. if your using it because they want something to suck on then thats a choice you gotta make. But they should be gone by the time their two in my point of view...

Hether - posted on 01/28/2009

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We did a pacifier with our oldest and it turned out fine. He let go of it on his own rather quickly. The younger uses hers at night- she's had a really strong sucking need since birth (...well, since her first ultrasound, actually...)



I've heard to not worry about babies wanting a comfort thing. A pacifier is really something so small to worry about. Your daughter is going to get grief from everone about every little thing she chooses to do as a mother, I'm sure you remember what it was like getting hounded.

To make it easier, don't worry about people buying pacifiers for her shower. Just have your daughter round them all up and go return them.



Good luck. And really, no sweat. Having a pacifier won't effect their career or college applications. :)



Congrats on your grandbaby!

Christi - posted on 01/28/2009

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I was not going to use pacifiers with my daughter until she started to get really fussy in the evening after very busy days. She just needed the sucking to soothe herself after being overstimulated. She is now 17 months old and still uses it when sleeping, but that's it. I've heard that 18 months is a good age to wean if they haven't done so themselves already, so that's what we're planning. I figure if she needed the sucking, she would eventually find her thumb, and a paci is easier to take away than a thumb! LOL



Christi

www.DoneWithDaycare.com

Penny - posted on 01/28/2009

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My daughter used a pacifier until she was 6 months. She started chewing on them, so we just made them disappear. I think the binkies are there to sooth, truthfully. I don't think it's about using them for not talking. I would ask a pediatrician, because there has to be a reason why they sell them. I, personally, don't think a baby should have a binky after at least 9 months old, but.... you know how that goes.

[deleted account]

My daughter is just 6 months now and she only uses it once in a while. I can take it from her and she is fine with that. I find that it helps her sleep better and 'they' even say that babies who sleep with a pacifier breathe better - it helps regulate their breathing - which cuts the risk of SIDS, according to past studied. and, I have to add, I was VERY against using them at first, but after a few days I found that if used in moderation, it's OK. If you plug your child's face ALL THE TIME, then of course you will run in to problems. I imagine in the next couple of months she won't need it at all, and she only really uses it now about 2-3 times a day, maybe. I am a big fan of the MAM pacifiers, she likes them and they don't have a clickety handle that will wake the baby. It is easier for her to play with too, practicing putting it in her mouth and taking it out.... and I have to agree that breaking a pacifier habit is much easier than breaking the thumb-sucking habit. you can't take their thumb away!

Mayra - posted on 01/28/2009

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I have 2 girls. A 5 year old and a 3 year old. Neither one of them used a pacifier. The hospital did give us one when they were born and I did put it in their mouths but when they spit it out, I took it as a sign that they didn't like it. There has been moments when I thought a pacifier would have helped, but I got rid of them. So, they learned to soothe themselves some other way. I can honestly say that I am glad that I didn't give in because now I don't have the pacifier dependency to deal with. What I can say is this, only YOU, as a mother, will know if your baby is in need of one or not. Only YOU as a mother can and should decide. And from my experience as a mom, EVERYONE will have their opinion and what they think you should do. You do what's best for YOUR baby.

April - posted on 01/28/2009

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I started out not wanting to use them either, but after a whole day in the hospital with my first wanting to suck or eat every hour on the hour for about 30 minutes, my mom told me to get a pacifier and it worked, she was just wanting to suck.  It is natural.  We broke her from the pacifier by 2 yrs old, and then I had my son and he had one also.  I understand the fear of having one and it interfering with suck reflex when breastfeeding, but it never hindered my daughter from feeding.  In fact, I think that it may have helped her to actually latch on better.

Meagan - posted on 01/28/2009

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i say it's a good way to just be a gma at this point she'll learn eventually if and when she wants to use it. I'd support her at this stage. my daughter is almost 2 and doesnt have to have a pacifier... but she used one since birth. if it's used right your grandchild won't be 3 and still attatched to one. it's not a substitue for attention and affection. she'll learn the hard way that babies want to suck, they don't want to eat. both of my children oldest being almost 2 and youngest being 6 months just wanted to suck, so i would nurse them but they didn't want to eat so all the milk my body worked so hard to produce got spit back up and they got tummy aches until i learned that a pacifier was the only way to satisfy that innate need to suck.



bottom line she's the mom but, it's gonna be one hell of a learning experience!

Michelle - posted on 01/28/2009

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I'm a mum to a boy ages 7 and a girl age 1, both had dummies and both no longer used them after 11 mths old! I hadn't intended to but had bought them "just in case" and glad I did. They ended up having them because they wanted the sucking sensation from their bottle to sooth them but not the milk. They grew out of using them as they understood more!

Kerensa - posted on 01/28/2009

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i used a dummy ( pacifier ) with my son up until
he was roughly about 7 months and then he just didn't want it! A dummy habit is far easier to break than a thumb sucking habit!

Maria - posted on 01/28/2009

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My kids "tried them" when they were first born - somewhat against my wishes where I figure they can sooth themselves by sucking on their fingers or hands - and you can't DROP your fingers like a pacifier (imagining pulling over on the highway in the pouring rain to pick up the paci that has fallen out of the baby's mouth)



Luckily neither or my girls liked them all that much - not sure if it was me not giving it to them - or just their preference - but I'm glad I don't have to wean a child off a pacifier!



"They" say sucking is a soothing thing and normal, and infants don't get addicted to pacifiers... but I've seen so many people fighting with their 3 year old to give it up!!

Brianna - posted on 01/28/2009

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I used a pacifier with my baby because the sucking was soothing to him.  The one mistake I made was that I only used the hospital pacifier and my son wouldn't take any other one.  It was my fear that he would get too attached to pacifiers, but he didn't.  My son was done using the pacifier when he was 9 months old.  When I have another baby I think I will definately use a pacifier again because the sucking is soothing for babies, and seems to calm them down.  I think if you use a pacifier and are afraid of the baby getting attached to it, you just need to set a time you want your baby to stop using it.  Like I didn't want my son to use it past his first birthday, and I ended up weaning him off it at 9 months.

Marlene - posted on 01/27/2009

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I have not used a pacifier with my baby and he is now 11 months old.  My reasons were medical and practical - pacifiers can be bad for developing an overbite, there may be a reason for crying that should be addressed by physical contact, and if a baby drops their pacifier from the crib they are unable to soothe themselves back to sleep.  I agree with you and your daughter - best not to use one, then you don't have to worry about weaning it!

Katie - posted on 01/27/2009

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I let my daughter use one and she is almost 18 months. She is pretty attached right now but I just started limiting it to only naptime and night time. She is doing pretty good at getting used to that and my goal is to hopefully by 2 for her to be completely off the paci. I just recently needed to take it out of her mouth when she tryed to talk to me and I didn't understand her. I personally don't have a problem with paci's and am just going to make sure that she doesn't have it past 2 and didn't see it as a problem for a source of comfort. (especially at a very early age)

Gabrielle - posted on 01/27/2009

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I've been a mother for three years and I too, was much against. Until one night, his screams were intolerable. I saw wanting to suck... tried to nurse, that lasted for a few mintues, until it was back to the screaming.Finally, after finding the "one" someone had given us, he calmed right down. He just wanted to do what was natural. He was perfectly content sucking away. To boot, he weaned himself off at six months old!!

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