"To Train Up A Child" by Michael & Debi Pearl

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Heather - posted on 04/24/2009

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I have read it many years ago. I would say that perhaps you can take one or two points from it but my concern is it is heavy into authoritarian rather than authority. I know too many people go overboard on the "love" side and forget that children actually feel loved when there are loving boundaries that are enforced, but really, the Pearl's approach to parenting could possibly leave their children not feeling loved or cared about. (this is coming from me, I am the strictest mom I know!! I have 4 children and I am always being asked how I got "so lucky" to have such well behaved children)

I prefer "growing kids Gods way" because it teaches us (among other things) to tell our children the reason why we don't wan't them to do something (for example, "I just sprayed poison around that tree, so please don't go near it" rather than just "obey me because I said so" which really encourages rebellion)

of course that is just one of the parenting skills taught in that series. I also really appreciated the teaching of "are they being rebellious or are they just being children - do they know better yet?" in other words, if you haven't told them or taught them not to do something, then your response should be teaching.

hard to explain in so few words.

I hope that helps!!

please feel free to ask if you'd like more clarification!! :)

Tracey - posted on 04/24/2009

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I am a firm believer that children follow the model they see every day. I raise my children with a stong sense of God and knowing that He makes it possible to live and succeed everyday. I also encourage them to try everything their heart desires from ballerina to skate boarder (sometimes in the same day lol). You love them you encourage them, you support them and let them know it's okay to make mistakes, actually it's good to make mistakes it gives you a chance to try it a different way :0). I am also very honest and talk to them everyday and not AT them. Hope this helps.

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Jane - posted on 08/17/2011

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So, two parents have killed one of their children using this technique and all their other children are now in foster care. The author said "I've never met any well trained, emotionally secure, happy, creative children that weren't spanked". I NEVER spanked....or layed a hand on my children EVER and they are all of the things he says he's never met. They are straight A, creative both musically and intellectually and my olddest is on a full scholarship to college and my son will be afforded the same thing when he attends college next year. Why people think they need to spank/hit their children is beyond me....you can do it without any physical or emotional abuse...IT'S CALLED COMMUNICATION!!!!!

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Erica Jo turned 2 in Jan. Joshua Neil is 6mon. My husband Andrew and i have been married for 5 wonderful years! we live in Alberta Canada.

Heather - posted on 04/24/2009

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I agree!! the growing kids Gods way is actually a teaching series. I don't know if there is a "newer" version, but I took the course about 10 yrs ago (I think my oldest was about 3 at the time) it has helped tremendously!!

I think another BIG thing, is speaking your belief into your child(ren) My children KNOW that I believe they are going to make great choices in life and as they go through their teen years, they know that I am there for them no matter what, they know that they can come to me when they need to talk. It breaks my heart to hear parents tearing their children apart verbally with careless words. Words really DO hurt!!

how old are your "babies"?

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Ive never read the book you mentioned,but i will! people are always telling me how "lucky" i am that i have such cheerful babies.......that didnt just happen on its own you know. Time Patience Consistency & LOVE!

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That is wonderful advice! You are obviously a Christian and a real one at that! May i ask what church you go to? Can i have you as a freind on facebook? I have a hard time finding people with this vision for your children.I have 2 sweet babies.

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