To work or not to work...? how to make that decision...

Erica - posted on 03/17/2009 ( 4 moms have responded )




I'm thinking of either cutting my hours way back or quitting my job. It is a great job with flexible hours but I feel as though i'm missing out on so much with my 10 month old son. I know I want to have another one in the next 2 years (after the 2nd i will have to quit b/c of childcare costs) Right now we are financially sound and I could "afford" not to work...but how do I make such a HUGE decision?

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Antoinette - posted on 03/17/2009




The way we decided on if I would work or not is my husband and I weighed the pros and cons together. We both also said that we wanted our child to be raised with our belief systems rather than someone elses. Also he asked how I would feel being at home and not , for lack of a better term, not be as social. When you stay home you give up a few things but you gain things. I never regret the choice of staying home. I enjoy my son every moment no matter what goes on. Plus there are play groups and other activities a stay at home mom can do with thier child/children. Plus if you have a suportive spouce you will also get the you time you will need. But I can not stress enough that you should talk it over with your spouce. You do not want any resentment in any way. There also is no reason that if you working part time that you can not continue that either. If it works for you, you may even see if cutting back your hours become more causual then part time employee. This way you bennifit with staying home more and working less. I know a few moms who do that, they work once or twice a week and thier husband is home to watch the little ones and everybody wins. Not only does the child bennifit but so do the parents because everyone gets one on one time. Hope I have help and not made ti confusing. Best wishes

Sara - posted on 03/17/2009




This is a difficult decision to make and i think only you can decide. I wanted to stay at home, which i was very glad to do but i have friends that couldnt stand to do this as it limited their time with adults and felt very  trapped being home all the time. Perhaps going part time would be the answer!  Before you know it your children will be going to school and then working fulltime shouldnt be a problem, but believe me when i say time goes fast ,it really does.

Sara - posted on 03/17/2009




I say if you can afford it, then you go girl! I never thought I would want to stay home, but after having my daughter, I cry every day when I drop her off at daycare and wish every day that I could afford to quit working to be with her. I think if you can stay home with your son (and future children) you should do it. Being a mom is the most important thing you will ever do. In 30 years you're not going to look back and remember some stupid report or presentation you did at work, you're going to remember your children's first words, first steps. It's a precious time and you should consider yourself lucky if you can afford to do it! It sounds to me like you're really leaning towards doing it, but the previous poster is right, you need to go with your heart on this. I think it is hard because it's not the norm for a mom to stay at home anymore, and some women worry about what other people will think about it, but who cares? You do what you feel is right. Good luck!

Sarah - posted on 03/17/2009




I would say go with your heart. It's very hard I know and you need to balance time with your son with what working gives you. Do you need the independence/money/using your brain in a different way/social contact? And do you have childcare you really trust? I have two kids and work very part-time from home. It suits me, but I value my time with them so much and managed to be at home with my second until she was over one and resist childcare until she was about 20 months. (1st was in nursery 2 full days from 10 months and she and I hated it) I was very lucky to have that choice, but already with my 22 month old in childcare about 6 hours and with her grandma for a day I feel I don't have enough time with her. If you cut your hours back you keep a bit of a backup if you do need/want to go back. Can you consider something where you can work around your child/children for the future? Good luck with the decision

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