to young to be a grandma

Josie - posted on 04/09/2015 ( 5 moms have responded )

2

0

1

So 3 days ago I just found out my 18 yr old daughter is pregnant she'll be 19 in may. This is her first boyfriend and they have been together for 2 yrs. I feel so bad because I don't no how to act. I have 2 other girls at home 14,16 year old there happy to be aunts. My husband and I separated and divorced 7 months ago after 20 yrs of marriage and Samantha lives with him (dad) and her boyfriend. Part of me is happy ,sad and mad. I feel she's my baby having a baby her life hasn't even started just graduated high school last yr. Tried collage but didn't like the school so she quit. Now she doesn't no what she wants to do in life. The boyfriend works but makes minimum wage and my ex doesn't make much money. Everytime I think about all this I want to cry and I'm not sure why I'm so scared for her. I can't stop thinking about everything and how could this could have happened and I'm having problems sleeping. I just no how hard things were when I was 20 yr and had her. I love my girls so much I couldn't even imagine loving another human as much as I love them. But I also no that I will be here no matter what to support her and love her unconditionally.

MOST HELPFUL POSTS

Raye - posted on 04/10/2015

3,761

0

21

I sort of know how you feel. My nephew and his girlfriend got pregnant when he was 19, she was 17. They recently got married and had a baby boy, so my sister is a g-ma at 42. We were all disappointed because they are so young, didn't have a place to live, she had to put off plans for college, etc. We're happy for them that they are trying to get their lives in order, they have gotten an apartment, my nephew has a job. But still are nervous about how it will all turn out.

We want the best for the young people in our lives. Because we know the struggle they will face, it is sad when they jump ahead and get into these situations so young. It seems like so much potential is instantly gone, or at least put on hold. You are completely justified to feel that way. But have hope, too. They could work it all out. Help them be strong enough to still make something of their lives, and give that baby a good life in the process. They now have a different kind of potential, and can still do wonderful things.

5 Comments

View replies by

Ev - posted on 04/10/2015

7,227

7

909

My daughter became a mom the first time at 21. She and her husband had no work yet, were both in the middle of college years. They both decided to put off college, get married and find work. After my granddaughter was born, My daughter went to work and her husband became a stay at home dad. They have since had another child and it is still the same set up. There are other details of this that I am not going into. Suffice to say they are working it out. AS for going back to finish school, we shall see. My niece on the other hand had moved out of her mom's to go live with a boyfriend she had met online from what I have been told and understand. In less than a couple months of that at the age of 19 she became pregnant. No job for either, no ambition to get one for the father, living off his grandparents, no car, no money, no nothing. My niece expects everyone else but mostly mom to pay for her to do anything, to go anywhere, and to have a phone. The girl is now 21 years old. Still thinks the world is going to take care of her. And she has a child to think of and is not thinking too much of that except that he is cute and she gets attention from it. For the first birthday, she wanted to have a large all out party for him and feed the guests and so on. She got it. The father gave her 100 bucks for it but I know that my sister ended up paying for the rest of it. Both my sis and I became young grandmothers. I was 42 and she was 40. But we both survived.

Chana - posted on 04/10/2015

472

0

26

I could never imagine being a parent at such a young age but 2 of my nieces were and they are doing fine. You can not change the situation all you can do is love and support your daughter in her choices and be there if or when she needs you. Make sure she is doing everything she can to insure that she has a healthy baby and then love that grandbaby.

Ev - posted on 04/09/2015

7,227

7

909

Its not easy becoming a young grandmother but she is an adult and this is her life. She is going to have to work this out with her BF and so on. Be supportive of her and love her.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms