today is the worst day of my life even worse than the day i lost my dad 3 months ago, my son has been with depression on and off for abut 8 months he was in a horrible relationship of 2 years i think she is bipolar, this girl broke him down, lost all self esteem,everything that could go wrong happened after he found out she was cheating on him with her x, so today something triggered his anxiety woke up crying asking for his dad who unfortunately had gone to the keys and when i saw him outside under the rain crying hystercally he told me shouting mom leave me alone ! I did but after a while went back anf found him with an electrical cord trying to hang himself i called my husband and he called 911 also a neighbor who heard him screaming must have called to, thank god i didnt know what to do. Now he is on a 72 hour hold i am scared that he will cry something else he told me while i was beging him to please stop he said he was worthless and that the he was not meant to live anymore, here I wait while my husband is with him at the hospital to see what they will do at the psch hospital so afraid
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Rebekah - posted on 09/22/2012
So sorry you are going through such a rough time. Be thankful that he is in a place now where he can be evaluated and hopefully stabilized. I work in a psych hospital, so I speak from that perspective. I'm sure it is scary as anything for a parent to have to see their child go through this and have to be hospitalized, but be thankful that intervention happened when it did, he is safe, and now he can hopefully go forward. The 72 hour hold is for observation/evaluation, but if the doctors determine that he needs treatment beyond that, he may remain longer. Don't take him out of the hospital until he is feeling safe enough to return home. While he is in the hospital, talk to the doctor, the social worker, whomever is involved in his case and find out what you and your husband need to do to keep your son safe and moving forward in his recovery when he comes home. Inpatient stays are usually short-term (barring other circumstances), so he may continue with outpatient treatment (counseling) once he is discharged. I encourage you to follow whatever recommendations the staff makes to support him after he comes home.
I see scenarios like your son's frequently where I work (young people feeling suicidal following a break-up, especially if they are prone to depression to begin with, and especially if the relationship tended to be unhealthy), so know that you--and your son--are not alone by any means. Many have followed that path before, and they have worked through it with the proper help.
Keep communication open with your son--as much as possible. Work on some kind of contract or agreement with him so that he knows he can come to you if he's having dark thoughts. Watch his behaviors and make sure he isn't isolating from his friends (or returning to the ex) or turning to substances to alleviate his emotional pain. Give him as many outlets as possible to express himself and build up his sense of self worth; on the heels of the break-up of a 2 year relationship, he may need time to sort of redefine who he is (without her) and what he wants in a relationship.
And for you...you are still grieving the loss of your dad, and now to have this happen, it is a lot for anyone to bear. Use all the supports you have around you, and reach out for more if you need them. Consider going to a counselor or clergy or someone who can provide you additional support as you try to process all this and be strong for your son. It is difficult and scary now, but it will pass and it can get better if everyone is open to getting help. I wish the best for you and your son.
Diana - posted on 10/02/2012
Thank you kristen. He is 25 and stil lives at home , which is fine with us. We are looking for a home for him which he will be sharing with 2 cousins, He learned a great lesson there in those 4 nights. Started therapy and I will make sure he continues it. This relationship was toxic from the very beginning everyone noticed it but him. Thought this was the one for life. Unfortunately she was a manipulator, cheater, and when she drank she was verbally abusive. He thought he could make her happy, it didnt work, Like she told him she is fine being alone and marriage and family are not in her plans. Hope he remembers this, He has a great circle of friends, a sister who loves him very much and lots of family, he knows we are here for him no matter what.
The only thing he will not take is medication he does not believe in medication. Again thank you and I hope you are doing well.
Diana - posted on 10/02/2012
Thank you Rebekah ,He did get out on Wed so he was there for 4 nights, the therapist sugessted he needed to continue with a Psychiatrist and theraoy he started today with both no medication was given at this time only Concerta for his ADD. He said he learned alot while thre saw how horrible it is to be addicted to drugs and how lucky he was to have his family. He spoke of how alone some of the people in the hospital where, some not knowing where they were going to go after they were discharged. This made him realize that his problem does have a solution and that he needed to let go. He is living at home so we are watchful his cousin and my sister are also a support for him he has gone over to talk to them several times since last wed. I pray alot and have gone to speak to clergy. One of his best friends was ordained a pastor and he and his mom have spoken to me , called me and prayed with me for him to find closure in this relationship. He got good news yesterday graduating this month from Full Sail University and possibly a better job. I appreciate all your information I share with my husband.
Kristin - posted on 09/22/2012
Is he under 18? When I was younger I went through a bout of bad depression. I'll spare the details big I was in and out of hospitals on that 72 hour watch. It got to the point where my folks just didn't know what to do or how to help. They singed me into a private psych hospital and I was there for over 2 weeks. There I learned coping strategies for my emotions and things like that. It did help.
My folks were able to do that when I was under 18. I went again even I was over 18 but voluntarily signed in because I knew I needed the help.
I wouldn't just take the 72 hour watch and call it a day. I suggest you look into something that will actually help him. That 72 hour thing is just to watch and evaluate, not help him with what he is going through and how to cope with the unexpected
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