Toddler hates playdates and classes - help!

Kim - posted on 09/26/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )




My daughter is 19 months and over the past month we've started having a lot of trouble taking her to other peoples houses for playdates, as well as to group classes. She is fine for the first 15-20 minutes but then all of the sudden decides she is done and wants to leave and gets hysterical if we don't. I've made some great mommy friends and have been trying to set up a couple play dates with other kids her age that she has known since birth so she can socialize more. Every time we go to someone's house it results in a complete screaming, hyperventilating meltdown because she wants to leave very shortly after arriving. The first few times we left because I couldn't get her to calm down, but the last couple times I have pushed her to stay and sometimes she doesn't calm down for 30+ minutes. And I've tried one on one playdates as well as larger groups (4-5 kids), but always with kids she knows.

The same thing happens in classes like music and gym. At first we couldn't even walk into the room without a meltdown, and now she is fine going in but just wants to leave half way through the class. In those situations I usually have to leave because her loud screaming is very disruptive to the rest of the kids.

She is totally fine playing at the park for hours, and seems to prefer being outside overall, but the weather is getting cold and she really needs to be okay with some indoor activities.

I guess my question is, do we keep pushing her to get comfortable in these situations and stay even if she cries for a long time, or don't push her and either leave or not plan things like this to begin with? I am worried she will fall behind in social skills since she is home with a nanny all week and just doesn't seem interested in other kids. My mom says she may just be too young for structured activities, but the classes are full of kids her age and she is literally the only one who cries or has these issues.

Anyone else have a toddler like this? I don't know if this is a phase and she is just bored and wants to leave, or if she has some kind of social anxiety/issues, but the screaming and crying is out of control and is giving me major anxiety. Thanks for any advice!

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