Toddlers and Discipline

Lidia - posted on 02/01/2012 ( 6 moms have responded )

13

0

0

I have a toddler who is hitting other children at daycare without realizing that it's wrong. I think he's just trying to get their attention as he doesn't know all their names. Also, when we tell him at home to stop hitting if he does it to us, he just laughs or doesn't take it seriously. I've tried time-outs and separate him from us so he realizes that there's repercussions to things like that, but nothing seems to work. Does anyone have advice?

6 Comments

View replies by

Lidia - posted on 02/06/2012

13

0

0

Hi Jaime. Thanks for the advice. Very true indeed. I think we need to provide them with a channel for them to release their anger, hurt or irritation. I think I will try the pillow too - anything that help to validate his mood and confirm that he's being heard and offered a solution.

Jaime - posted on 02/05/2012

4,427

24

197

Consistency is really important, but also you have to determine when he's hitting for attention and when he's hitting out of frustration. When he's hitting for attention just keep showing him the appropriate way to talk to someone. When he's hitting out of frustration, explain that it's not okay to hit anyone and tell him that if he's upset he can hit his pillow or his stuffed animals...or something soft that he can't hurt and won't hurt him. Sometimes kids just need to release their aggression, so stifling their behaviour will only increase the likelihood of it happening again. If he needs to hit something...let him hit something. My son is nearly three and he still hits me when he's upset. I explain to him that it's okay to be upset, but it's NOT okay to hit me or anyone else. If he needs to hit something, he can hit his pillow. That usually does the trick. If that doesn't work then I explain that he needs to have some quiet time so that he can calm down before he goes back to his toys or his friends.

Lidia - posted on 02/05/2012

13

0

0

Thanks Neva. I think consistency is definitely key when it comes to reinforcing good behaviour. It's just a bit frustrating at the beginning when they don't respond immediately or after a few times, but I guess learned behaviour that eventually becomes habit take time. :)

Neva - posted on 02/01/2012

269

11

80

Just be consistent. Toddlers don't have impulse control, so even though you've given him a time out doesn't mean he won't do it again. But over time if you are consistent and give an immediate consequence, then he will learn that the bahvior isn't worth the consequence. When he hits, go to him, hold his arms and in a firm voice say, "We don't hit." Then put him in time out, one minute for year of age. If he gets up, keep putting him back without talking or engaging him in any way, until he stays there for his time. Then go to him and tell him, "I put you in time out because you were hitting and we don't hit. Every time you hit you will go in time out." Then you must follow through immediately every time he does it in the same manner. His behavior will improve over time. If he laughs at you, just ignore that, cause he's looking for some sort of attention.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms