told I am extremely Immature

[deleted account] ( 33 moms have responded )

So I am 25 I have a 3 yr old daughter. I just found out I am pregnant but I am not happy. I dont want another baby. I talked to my friends and they basically labeled me immature. I am not on birth control nor was I using any form of protection. They told me that I should not be allowed to have sex I got that i should have knew this would happen. My closest friend said I should be punished for my childish behavior.. My mom even told me that this is something a teen would do and that i should get sterilized my own mother said this to me. Am i a 100% wrong??

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Ev - posted on 08/03/2014

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Jamie--

We should not have to spell it out for you.

1) Stop thinking about yourself all the time.
2) Make rational choices for your children such as whether to keep them or not
3) Get yourself on birthcontrol so you can not keep getting pregnant.
4) Seek help of a counselor.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/05/2014

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Oh, man, I missed probably the best bullshit post in a long time! Damn! That's what I get for taking time off...LMAO

Well handled ladies! I really cannot wait for all of these teeny-bopper trolls to go back to school...

Dove - posted on 08/03/2014

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lol Honestly... you sound more immature than my daughter... and she's 12.

If you are legit and not just here to annoy people (which I am strongly suspicious of now).... you NEED professional mental health help as soon as possible. Please start making calls first thing tomorrow morning because you need more help than anyone online ever has a chance of giving you.

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Viviane - posted on 08/03/2014

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If you say you are not on birth control and you didnt use any form of protection I dont think you should be surprised abiut the pregnancy unless something is really wrong with you.if you yourself are not happy with the pregnancy then expect others not to beas well.

Dove - posted on 08/03/2014

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You are a 25 year old WOMAN in a committed relationship... you don't have to abstain from sex. But if you don't want to get pregnant... you do need to be using birth control.

No... being an adult obviously does not mean you are mature... your posting 100% proves otherwise... but if you can not behave in a mature manner then you need to make some life choices that will not be causing harm to your children.

I'm not saying don't have this baby... because that would mean I am saying it is ok to kill your child... and I'll never say that, but... maybe you shouldn't KEEP this baby... or your other child... if you aren't willing to grow up and put the needs of your children above everything else in life.

[deleted account]

Yes I am considered an adult but I don't think that I am. I think I act more along the lines of a teen. I have been told this over and over again. Am I wrong just because I am an adult does that mean I'm mature?

Michelle - posted on 08/03/2014

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I'm just amazed that a 25yo woman keeps blaming her "immaturity" on falling pregnant. You are an adult and you make choices in your life. I think it's time that you stood up and took responsibility for the choices YOU have made and stop making excuses.

[deleted account]

I know your right we played games with this over and over. After my mom and friends would tell me I shouldn't be having sex. I would make him wear a condom. That was short lived we go right back to just being careless.

Ev - posted on 08/03/2014

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It might be a start but you have to really want it to happen. But first you need to both acknowledge that you have changes to make and that you want to make them.

[deleted account]

And as far as abstaining from sex I think it's a start to prove to ourselves and everyone else that we can mature.

[deleted account]

Your right I don't know why I let this happen. It's like I can't grow up I don't blame people for how they react with me.

Ev - posted on 08/02/2014

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We are not saying that but we are saying that you do need to stop and look at the choices you have made and try to learn from them. The baby is not a punishment. But you certainly need to start thinking and acting like the adult you are supposed to be...you are not a teenager anymore. That was several years back.

[deleted account]

Ok so you are saying if i cant grow up that i shouldnt have this baby? I feel like if i go through the pregnancy that i am being punished...

Dove - posted on 08/02/2014

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You are a 25 year old WOMAN... not a child. I was married w/ two kids (planned) at your age. You need to either grow up and be the mother that your children deserve... or give them to someone that will be.

Your life choices are all on you here. You need to take a long, hard look at yourself (perhaps w/ some counseling) and decide what it is that YOU want your life to look like... and then make that happen. Just don't let your children be suffering from your choices.

Sarah - posted on 08/02/2014

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I would suggest looking into adoption if you are not ready for another child. That would be a good step in acting more mature.

Ev - posted on 08/02/2014

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YOu are both adults. Quite laying this on any other reason than you are not using your head. Its not up to your mom or others to make the choices for you but you are gonna have to learn to think before acting. Its not fair to a child to be born of people who have no other concerns at the moment but their pleasures, desires, or wants. Abstaining from sex is not going to help if you do not really want to implement it. I think you need counseling...not just you but him as well. You act as though you do not want to be responsible for your actions.

[deleted account]

Your right these are the things I don't see. We both agreed to abstain from sex for a long time. We both need to mature that is our problem is it fair to have another baby if we can't handle one. I'm pregnant because of this. So should we be trusted

Ev - posted on 08/02/2014

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Jamie, you can not say he was more irresponsible than you were. THIS TOOK TWO OF YOU. Immature or not, you need to have some sort of birth control to keep from being pregnant. Both of you were immature in your choices not to protect against this. It falls on both of your heads and it makes him and you equally immature. You did not get pregnant on your own and he did not get you pregnant. YOU AND HE chose to have unprotected sex and the end result is a child you do not seem to want but have no choice now but to raise. Stop blaming others for your choices and become responsible.

M - posted on 08/02/2014

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If you don't want another child, you should use protection. If you don't want to take pills, or your husband don't want to use condoms, try IUD. It takes 6 months to change it so you won't have any problems.

Maybe you're young to have 2 children, but listen to me Jamie, no matter what happens,
your unborn baby in your tummy right now is a gift of God. Even if you don't believe in God, it's still a gift from someone right?

I know you will him/her, and he/she is already there. The best thing you can do is think about your future. How do you see yourself in 5 years?
You should answer: A strong, happy, independent woman with 2 kids!

Think about your daughter, in a few years she'll be aware of everything more accurately, so how do you want her to see you? An immature woman? No, you are not immature Jamie, because starting today, you'll think about the future, yours and your children's, think of ways on how to be a role model for your children. Starting on how you look and dress, and treat others, et al.

Good luck Jamie and don't worry, everything will be alright!

M

Dove - posted on 08/02/2014

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Sex makes babies. If you didn't want a baby and yet you were having sex w/ no birth control or protection.... you were either being immature or ignorant. I sure hope you are having sex in a committed relationship because a baby is not the worst consequence of sex... not even close.

[deleted account]

Evelyn yes he is immature prob more immature then me. I was talking to my mom this morning she feels that I should get a permanent form of birth control. She said that I am not responsible and should not be trusted with normal birth control.

Ev - posted on 08/02/2014

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That is part of it but at the same time you need to stop and think things out before you do them. Is this child's father the same as your first? Its time to stop thinking about what you want and to focus on those children and what THEY need.

[deleted account]

I guess my feeling is that they know me and that's the hard part of what they said. In the end it's my decision but they are right. They tell me I act very immature and sometimes it's not about my decision it's about not getting Into this situation again.

Ev - posted on 08/02/2014

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Jamie,

I am not trying to bash you or anything but the other poster and your friends/family were right. Also a side note, having unprotected sex can lead to other problems besides having a baby and that is the least of worries this day and age. You can also get STD's and other dieases related to sex with just even one partner especially if you do not know who they have been with before and that person's health history. it was immature because you thought of the moment and not the end results. I would suggest that you get checked out for the diseases too because if you do and give birth the baby could get them too. You need to be more proactive in this. If you do not want kids, get on BC and use protection. Its not all full proof but its better than unprotected sex.

[deleted account]

I guess i had that coming I knew the risks but didnt bother to protect myself. I really dont wanna go through this pregnancy though...

Michelle - posted on 08/01/2014

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They are correct but probably could have been nicer about it. You already have a child, so you know what causes them and if you choose to not use birth control then you need to live with the results.
You are 25 so really should know how to prevent a pregnancy if you don't want another child.

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