Told my friend to go to Teen program to help with communication. Friend said she wouldn't even be able to make her daughter go. How to help?

Ariana - posted on 10/01/2012 ( 1 mom has responded )




My friends daughter is 14 and starting to get out of control. She's blatently skipping class, and I'm not sure, but I think she might be drinking and smoking weed.

I randomly saw this flyer for a program for teens 12-16 and their families. It basically said you go and they give them dinner and talk about communication and things and the whole family goes.

I told my friend about this and she just laughed and said that she wouldn't be able to get her daugher, or her husband, to go and that they would just leave. I said can't you just tell her to get in the car, and she said her daughter just wouldn't (and it's probably true).

They basically have no control over her and the husband is usually the one the daughter is really sweet with and never really does any discipline. The daughter acts our especially with the mom and her mom doesn't really do anything about it. Even the skipping school I encouraged my friend to take her cell phone away when she does it, as it's the only tool I can think of that the daughter cares about, and she seemed like she was going to do that and I don't think she ever did.

I really think a program like this would be helpful, and I also think the mother genuinely does not think she could get her daughter or husband to go. Is there anything I can do to help the situation AND what advice would you give to her about getting her daughter to go? The only thing I could think of was just pay her to go (or personally I would say take away her cell phone until she's willing to go) but if you can't even get the dad to agree to go she'll probably just tattle on her mom to him and he won't back her up.

What can I do and what advice could I give?



Katherine - posted on 10/02/2012




I think you've done everything you CAN do. If the mom doesn't want to use the resources you provided you can't force her. It's a sad situation, but you are not the parent unfortunately. The program sounds great though, what a shame.

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