Too much time spent in electronics

Jnine - posted on 01/11/2015 ( 9 moms have responded )

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I am a step mom. Stepson is a good kid, 13 yrs old . Good grades. Spends every waking moment in gaming or iPad ir iPhone whike at our home sat and Sunday's. Minimum of 8 hrs per day to a maximum if 14 hrs. Time limits need to be enforced! I read some silly comments from a parent saying if he has good grades then he's earned it and his free time should be doing things he loves, like gaming.
Serious? Everything in moderation. End of story. He is not bonding with his dad or myself. What memories will he have? Kind of like the adult who does nothing but watch tv. In his death bed, will he smile to himself, reliving all the wonderful memories he had,...watching tv? I have said three hrs per day on weekends gaming is more than generous. Stop being friends to your kids and be a parent.

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Dove - posted on 01/11/2015

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If his dad doesn't agree w/ you then you don't really have the right to enforce the rule... 'I' agree w/ you, but this is something that you AND his father have to agree on... or all you will do is alienate your stepson.

Is there anything ELSE he likes to do? Maybe you can try planning fun activities w/ your stepson vs. 'making a rule' on limiting the electronics.

Ev - posted on 01/12/2015

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I have to agree with step mom on this one but to the point that she has to be in agreement with dad. If dad is not going to step up and do something about it then there is not much she can do. But it is her house too. Her wishes should be respected. To me 3 hours is more than enough time for a kid to be on the video games, iPad, or what have you and in some cases its still too much.

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Rebecca - posted on 01/13/2015

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That's too much. I suggest about 2-3 hours per day is more like it. He's thirteen, he needs to go outside more...

Raye - posted on 01/13/2015

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You and your husband really need to get on the same page. Today's kids are living in a different world than what we did, but there are still good rules that were true then and are still true now. "Everything in Moderation" is one such rule.

My step-kids just got Nintendo DS's for Christmas, and have spent nearly every waking moment playing on them. Their dad does try to limit time, but sometimes he gets busy and doesn't pay much attention to what they're doing (until there's an emotional melt-down or it's time to eat), and they also sneak late at night or early in the morning. They were fighting over a game cartridge the other day, and I took their DS's away. I told their dad I took them because they were fighting, and he said it was okay because they were spending too much time on them anyway. They've not had them back since.

Kids that spend too much time with electronics are missing out on other activities fundamental to their physical, social, intellectual, and emotional development. They may "talk" to their friends during gaming, but that doesn't replace face-to-face social interaction. It doesn't help them learn social behavior. It doesn't keep them active.

While one of the aspects of "positive gaming" is that it can help build problem solving skills, the American Academy of Pediatrics published a study that found that depression, anxiety, and poor grades in school may result from too much gaming. There was a study in Japan that said that children who play video games excessively have less developed frontal lobes and will consequently be more prone to violent acts because they are less able to control their behavior. Frontal lobe development is boosted by basic mathematics, reading and writing.

Kids should be able to do things they enjoy, but a well-rounded kid should enjoy many different activities, not just gaming.

Jnine - posted on 01/12/2015

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Yes and I am. 3 hrs on the Xbox and 1 hr on other gadgets each Sat and Sunday is more than ample time. Yes, he does socialize, to a point but really, he's only 13 and still likes to spend time with his Dad as well. I've raised two daughters as well.

Trisha - posted on 01/12/2015

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Please also keep in mind that socialization has changed since we were young. My step son's main method of communication with all his friends is facebook or xbox.
He might not be having face to face interaction, but he IS socializing.
You do have to make some allowance to the change of the generations.
Perhaps encourage him to get out with friends and make plans. Some days we just kick him out of the house "You have been playing xbox too much, get out with some of your friends."
I certainly don't expect him to spend the time with us. Not many teenager spend 'quality' time with their parents. We watch movies together, and ensure that we eat dinner together a few times a week. This is where the real quality time happens.

Jnine - posted on 01/11/2015

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Yes infact we are going to play a board game after dinner. I need to perhaps get the ball rolling.

Jnine - posted on 01/11/2015

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Nothing at all. He's arguing with me that this is today's generation. I agree with him playing but not crazy amounts of time.

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