Torn between two...HELP???

Margaret - posted on 09/21/2011 ( 4 moms have responded )

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My 2nd is just 1yr 6m & baby is only 9 days old. 2nd is forever demanding my attention & throws a tantrum when I don't attend to her immediately. She's even hit the baby a couple of times. How do I deal with my 2nd...HELP???

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Louise - posted on 09/21/2011

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You have to involve her as much as possible where the baby is concerned by letting her get cream for her bottom or a fresh diaper. Then no matter how tired you are you have to set aside time for her too. Make sure she gets mummy time either a story or trip to the park. I know you have your hands full but your little one needs to know she is loved because at the moment she is feeling pushed out. She will settle in time but for now never leave her alone with the baby and always inforce with her to be gentle when touching the baby.

Fit2BMe - posted on 09/21/2011

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I speak from ignorance here, as I only have one child yet. I have heard though, that this is where "baby wearing" (with a sling) comes in handy. This might allow you to play with your toddler while wearing the new born, which gives them both what they need. Then when diapers or feeding some into play, maybe there are ways the toddler can be creatively involved--either through helping, or reading books during feedings (which would be good for the NB as well to be hearing your voice). Another thing I have heard is how helpful it is to praise the "big kid" behaviours and point out what privileges your toddler has because they are the "big sibling.".

One thing I will say is that the first 6 weeks after your first child is a time of HUGE adjustment where it can seem like everything is hectic and nothing feels settled. I have heard that for baby #2 and 3 you can expect to double that to the first 12 weeks being a bit unsure, stressful, and not finding your groove yet.

Your little one will start to find their new place soon, you'll find your groove, and your newborn will become a bit sturdier and routinized too I suspect. Hang in there mommy, this is the hardest part, but you're almost through the thick of it!

Peggy - posted on 09/21/2011

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Let no 2 help with baby and praise her a lot, tell her she is baby's big sister and a very important little girl in the baby's life

Katherine - posted on 09/21/2011

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Awww, your second isn't used to having to share mom. Have him/her help you with the baby. Maybe get a diaper, or something like that. You need to find some time everyday to spend with your oldest....alone. Maybe while the baby is sleeping? If you're already doing this, remember you have a newborn and it's going to take some time to adjust.

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