Kerrie - posted on 02/06/2013 ( 4 moms have responded )
ok here goes.me and my partner have been together 5 years and have a happy relationship, we struggle financially but who doesnt, however we have everything we need......my daughter just turned 3. when i had her i told my partner i would like to start trying for another baby once she turned 3. nothing much was said back then but about 6 months ago i mentioned again that i would like to start trying for another baby in the new year. he said (in what i thought was a joke) that he didnt know if he wanted another baby, but was not prepared to discuss it at that time. i tried to bring up the subject most months but he would never discuss it. anyway the time came when i had to have my implant removed as the 3 years were up. when he collected me i said that i had condoms incase he was being serious about no more babies. his reply was well we wont be needing them will we?....this shocked me as i was starting to worry he was being serious about not having another baby. so i just decided to go with the flow...he is not a good talker at all about these sort of things....so we had been having unprotected sex for 1 month, he knew i had condoms but didnt use them, so i thought ok he must have changed his mind we are trying for a baby......so we were just having a chat and i mentioned the fact that if/when a new baby came along we would have to move the house around, to which he said again he doesnt think he wants another baby.....well this blew my world apart but he refused to discuss it anymore, so silly as it sounds i wrote him a very honest letter explaining just how it made me feel and how much he was expecting me to sacrifice.....he read the letter and then refused to speak about it for 3 days.......last night we had the dreaded discussion and he is saying he doesnt know if he wants another baby because we are struggling financially already...as i said before who isnt......i then asked so its a no then???? he said he wanted to see if our situation changes but doesnt want one after turning 40...this is next year for him!!!!
i am feeling totally heartbroken and he is acting like nothing has happened........i am now stuck!!!!
i love him and i have worked hard to keep our family together. i would also hate to split my daughters world apart by leaving. however i dont know if at 30 years old i am ready to never have a child again. i also know my daughter would love a brother or sister. i never wanted her to be an only child.
am i being selfish and unfair?
i need advice please