toughlove hardest thing a parent can do

Cathymottler - posted on 08/18/2014 ( no moms have responded yet )




When you have a kid addicted to drugs...the first thing you think of is to rescue them and help any way you can.. because that is what you always have done for them in the past show them the correct way, teach them guide them, listen, prepare ect... but nothing in your parent arsenal can prepare you for what you go through when your kids is addicted to drugs. it is thee hardest thing to watch and live through. we have been thru hell and back trying to help or now 20 year old daughter, and nothing worked until we backed out and played the waiting game. waited for her to reach her personal bottom and asked for help, which we were happy to give, and happy to say that at first 1 day at a time then it turned into a week then weeks into months and more months after that of us supporting her but her doing all the recovery on her own with the help of a therapist, and NA and supportive friends in NA, was sha ble to achieve the goals SHE created for her self which were to get off drugs, stay off drugs, go to meetings, get enrolled in college, and get a job. and I am happy to say we have never been more proud of her for doing what she has set out to do. she is working 2 part time jobs is going to jr college full time with hopes to transfer to 4yr college, is 14 months clean and sober and is giving back to her community by helping others new to the NA program. I highly recommend the NA program to kids rather than AA, from our point of view and hers and she has gone to both merting, she says she always felt uncomfortable in AA meeting because all the people there were so much older than her, the NA meeting s seem to have younger people she can identify with, and she looked forward to goin. The program has helped her so much, but it was her strong will that has made her be so successful. as with any thing you only get out of something what you put into it. i can say it is nice to have our daughter back and it is so nice to have our family back. because when you have drugs involved in your family it touches everyone in one way or another and none of it is good. I say all of this to say tough love sounds harsh and it is ever harder to do than it is to say.... but it is what is necessary if you are able to actually help them.... to help them, you must back out force them to make decsisions for change. I suppose that some will make it sooner than others, because everyone has their own idea of what rock bottom is for them, thankfully for our kid it ended it well.... but if it doesn't... that is also not your responsibility as a parent you did not let them down... they let them selves down, and they have to either get the help they need or stay how they are, and the later choice is heartbreaking for any parent. I am thankful every day for our daughter being healthy and happy today. Just want to share to parents going through it...TOUGHLOVE is hard but it is worth it!

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