Toxic Neighbor??

Carrie - posted on 07/10/2014 ( 8 moms have responded )

68

0

23

Hello All,

I had an issue arise with a neighbor last night and would like some advice on how to handle future (as I'm sure there will be) incidents. I live in a small town that has a curfew and noise ordinance time of 10:00 pm. I have lived here 8 years and my neighbor 3 years. Up until about six months ago he was a great neighbor. Never very loud polite but kept to himself a working dad-of-two type. About six months ago he got a new girlfriend and ever since then it is loud parties 3-5 times a week that last until anywhere between 12am-3am. He was nice enough to install a fire pit right outside my master bathroom window so I can no longer open and use that window in the evenings to catch a breeze unless I want my bedroom to smell like a campfire.
This has been going on for about six months. My husband and I are agitated by the situation but didn't want to cause waves knowing that a situation can deteriorate rapidly when you get others involved. We always said as long as the noise isn't too loud and as long as they don't wake up our kids we'll let it slide. Last night was another wonderful extremely loud party. At about 10:30 my oldest son woke up and came out to the living room. "Mom, I got woken up by the neighbors kids being loud." My husband went to the kitchen window and and said can you please keep the noise down you just woke up my son and some of us need to go to work tomorrow morning. (My husband gets up a 5 to go to work). It was the neighbors 2 kids the girlfriends one kid and I'm assuming friends other 3 kids. They went in the house and not 10 minutes later my neighbor comes knocking on my door. I was a little baffled by this. After all we hadn't been rude to his kids we had simply asked them to keep the noise down. He was a raving lunatic. Every other word out of his mouth was profanity. He was actually trying to get my husband to come out and fight him...and his two buddies he brought over with him. By this point my husband was holding a baseball bat which my son who plays the game had so kindly left by the front door. At one point my neighbor even attempted to open my screen door which we had (thankfully) locked for the evening. I tried to calmly explain...and yes I was calm because I was very baffled by his behavior...That the children had been very loud and we just asked them to quiet down some to which he replied Shut the F*** up! while he continued to scream profanities at me. His last comment was If you ever talk to my kids like that again I'll bring my chainsaw and my truck over here and I'll get through your locked front door. Please insert the F word every other word and imagine someone SCREAMING this at you at close to 11:00 at night. When he got back over to his house he said you thought we were loud before you just wait...again inserting colorful language. About a 1/2 hour later so around 11:30 he drags everyone out on the front yard and the noise level begins to ratchet up. Well at this point I just wanted to calm down my oldest son because he was very scared that the neighbor was going to come back with his chainsaw. My youngest son who is 8 slept through the whole thing. So we watched a mellow movie which calmed my son down and got him back in bed and then at 2:00 my neighbor started setting off fireworks. I don't know if he was aiming them at my house or what but they were LOUD! again my oldest woke up. I'm sure there are going to be more incidents with this man this was hardly the first and he seems to have a screaming fight with his girfriend once a week. The names he calls her could peel paint off the walls and at least one kid is there for most of these fights. I just cant believe that he stood on my front porch with his buddies egging him on screaming profanities at me for such a minor incident I was threatened bullied and intimidated in the span of about three minutes. My adrenaline was going so hard after that that I didn't sleep at all...instead I cleaned the house. How should I handle future conflicts with this neighbor of which I'm sure there will be a few? I'd hate to get the cops involved but I won't go near this man ever again. I'd like to give him the benefit of the doubt and think he was drunk but that still doesn't excuse his behavior.

8 Comments

View replies by

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/11/2014

13,264

21

2015

They don't disclose who called in the complaint.

If no one calls him in, the ridiculousness continues, and he gets away with whatever he wants. If he's got to answer to the cops multiple times in an evening, he'll either get the hint, get evicted (if renting) or leave on his own because people are impeding his 'freedom'

Ev - posted on 07/11/2014

7,688

7

915

But they do not tell who called in is the thing. He might guess that it is you but he would not know for sure. I had to get over the idea of not calling in things like that because it was not doing me or even other neighbors good. I had another instance of disturbances in my building and that night of one in particular not only i called the cops but several of the other tenants did as well, and the cops told us that the fight was about food of all things. But as hard as they were hitting the walls I was fearful that they would come right through it. I also had the care of a niece that night and did not want her to get hurt. Its your right for peace and quiet after that hour when the noise is supposed to be down. Do not be afraid to call in.

Carrie - posted on 07/11/2014

68

0

23

Chet,

I do not know if other neighbors are upset by the noise. I live on the corner and I know he is friendly with the neighbor on the other side and across the alley from him. Most of the people in town are polite enough and will wave if they're outside in their yards and you're walking by but for the most part everyone keeps to themselves. The only reason I am hesitant to call the police is because of a situation my cousin found herself in. She was having issues with a neighbor. Loud parties with drugs and alcohol people banging into the side of her house at odd hours unleashed dogs with no owner in sight coming towards her growling while she was in her yard etc...She started calling the cops and these neighbors called CPS on her claiming she was neglecting her child and they had seen her 3 year old with a black eve a few months back This happened a couple years ago. She had one son and was pregnant at the time. CPS of course met with her and her son and said the claim was unfounded but because my cousin was so upset by the ordeal she ended up moving in with her parents until her house sold. My neighbor seems to be the type that would find someway to "pay me back" If I called the cops. I guess I'm just afraid I would find myself in her situation.

Ev - posted on 07/10/2014

7,688

7

915

I have to agree with Chet. I live in an apartment complex and a few times have had to call the cops after calling the night security person who did not come to take care of the issues. Mind you the issues were a lot worse as the neighbors were drunk and getting into fights with each other. I live in the center apartment and had to hear it from both ends several times. One time the cops arrested someone during an issue. I would not take that from anyone. If you fear the man, what is to stop him the next time he thinks he needs to come over and say or do something, unless you do call the police. THat is what the police or sheriff's office for.

Chet - posted on 07/10/2014

2,093

0

587

Call the police. He's clearly violated the noise ordinance. If the noise restriction starts at 10pm, I wouldn't call at 10:01pm. But seriously, if your neighbour is setting off fireworks at 2am, hosting parties until after midnight more nights than not, and is confrontational to the point of uttering threats there's no other reasonable option.

If you live in a small town with a curfew and a 10pm noise ordinance I'd expect the police to take your complaint seriously.

Do you know if other neighbours are unhappy about the noise?

Guest - posted on 07/10/2014

460

0

26

I don't understand why you would hate to get the cops involved. If he is violating the noise ordnance, they should be involved. Fight with laws, not egos, jaws, or muscles. Laws ALWAYS win.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms