Trapped in an unhappy marriage?

Lisa - posted on 09/06/2013 ( 3 moms have responded )

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Does anyone else out there feel trapped in an unhappy marriage? Marriages all start out wonderful, but many deteriorate with time. My husband is not the same man I thought I married (11 years ago). Long story short, I feel neglected & unloved. My heart feels broken, and I would file for divorce tomorrow, except we have 3 children, ages 8, 6, & 3. I can't think of only myself. Divorce is really hard on children. So I feel I can't in good conscience file for divorce until my youngest becomes 18. 15 years seems an awfully long time to wait though. I feel so stuck. My husband is not abusive- he's a great father- so it's not like my kids are in a toxic environment.
I'm just not sure how I'm going to survive the next 15 years, constantly feeling hurt and sad.

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Karen - posted on 09/06/2013

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Hi ..... I'm sorry you feel so trapped and unhappy. You haven't mentioned if you still actually love your husband and want to make the marriage work... however, look up a guy called Mort Fortel on the internet. He does some great stuff around re-building marriages and you don't have to do it with your husband 'on board'. You can do it solo. It is not marriage counselling (which is renowned for failing). I liked it because it focuses on love and rebuilding rather than analysing the problems. Good Luck.

Kim - posted on 09/06/2013

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Sounds like you could benefit from marriage counseling. Marriage isnot all rainbows and butterflies. It is hard work, and there are ups and downs. Kids make it even harder. Of course your hubby isnt the man he was 11 years ago, life happens and it changes us a bit every day. Honor your vows and think instead about how you canmake it work instead of stewing in self pity. You need to come clean with how you feel and then talk about options for the road to reconciliation. You might even consider talking about your feelings with a doctor and see if it isn't linked to depression. Or leave him. It is not fair to make him sit in a marriage where his wife doesn't want to be with him. Apologies if that sounds mean.

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