Trouble Daughter turning 18 in 3 months, comply or move out?

Suzette - posted on 08/14/2015 ( 1 mom has responded )




My first born, daughter.... Rebellious since the age of 8. Spited me from this age. Manipulative, compulsive liar, theatrical, selfish, self absorbed. I remember such a cute lil gurl, loving, sweet and spunky. Once I got pregnant from my husband at the time. She hated the idea of not being the center of attention. I thought she would get over it but it was the beginning of a never ending dilemma. In a bit she'll, she lost her virginity in middle school, lied, stole. I took her to counseling at 14 to help her with her life self esteem. She told the counselor I abused her. They opened up a child abuse case only to be closed shortly after with no findings of abuse. We decided for her to go live with her father in hopes her daddy issues would get better. Her father was too list in his own problems to care. She lived there for two years with little contact from her. During that time, she slipped school, has a boyfriend over 18, having sex, got 4 tattoos.... Her cousin called me to say she needed to come back cuz they couldn't control her and they were afraid she would end up pregnant. She can back at 16, touch and go. Three schools later, she is studys GEd book at home. She pretends to follow the rules but lies. Just this week, she went with her lil brother 9 to her boyfriend's house and came back high off of weed. She has been doing things and making her brother keep her secrets and not tell me. He is a good boy, honest, Straight As, he finally broke and told me everything. She tells me she wants respect and to smoke marijuana with her boyfriend. Just found out through my son the boyfriend's mom, allows them to smoke. The only good thing, she has a part time job. I'm thinking of writing down the rules to stay living at my house, if she breaks it, then she needs to move out and learn life is different when mom isn't there to fix it. She is a bad influence and I'm afraid she will introduce my son to her way of being. Many fights between my husband and I with her back talking. She fakes being good to get her way and then takes your arm off after giving her a finger. According to her, I'm a bad mom, she had a horrible life... Meanwhile my son and I have a great relationship. I'm the same person. I just can't pretend I like being lied and manipulated. Is it time?


♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/14/2015




If you are planning on continuing to allow her to live at home, then a contract is in order for her to do so.

This is not because of her behaviour, necessarily, but because you have house rules, and those rules need to be complied by. If you were allowing any other adult to live in your home, there would be terms and conditions to that residence, so it only makes sense that you apply those same terms and conditions to your children as they reach adulthood.

Compliance with contract is a must, and terms within the contract should state consequences for non compliance, up to and including immediate eviction.

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