Trouble with 3 year old

Katherine - posted on 07/12/2015 ( 12 moms have responded )

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My 3 1/2 year old will whine over just about everything. He has temper tantrums 24/7, he is disrespectful, yells, hits, bites, spits and nothing we have tried is working. We have tried a sticker chart, a smiley face chart, praise, discipline, time outs and even ignoring his negative actions. Please help me! I deal with this 24/7 and I'm so tired of him acting this way and hurting me along with my family and daycare teachers.

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Dove - posted on 07/13/2015

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If he has good hearing and communication skills, you've remained consistent, and this has been going on constantly for 2 years... I'd be inclined to seek professional help.

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Monique - posted on 07/15/2015

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Hi. My 3 year old daughter, whom I have the honor of sharing a birthday with, does the same things your son does. Honestly, I have been told she is normal and will eventually grow out of it. I have 4 daughters and 1 son, my son being the baby. None of my older daughters did any of these things. I went through the normal, terrible twos, but by three they were ok. so my advice to you is, I honestly cant give u resolution. I just pray girl. I hope you find something useful and I can too. God bless stay strong.

Dove - posted on 07/13/2015

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I agree w/ Shawnn... if it's self defense against the other kids in daycare... the daycare is failing your son and your son could be lashing out at home because he is not being protected like he should be. Switching to a daycare where the providers actually know what they are doing may be a lot cheaper than seeking a 5th useless counselor. ;)

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/13/2015

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Well, if the kids at daycare are being aggressive first, and he's lashing out as retaliation, I'd change daycares as well, since it seems the teachers aren't doing their jobs. If they're blaming everything on your son and not taking into account the actions of the other children, that is a problem!
his actions at home may very well be a frustrated carry over from that as well. Has anything else changed in his life, besides daycare kids being brats?

Katherine - posted on 07/13/2015

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I will look for another one but we have seen 4 so far and our insurance won't cover anymore this year. They all say if he is only doing it to mommy and daddy it is an attention game he is playing. Kids at his Daycare have bit him pushed him ect so the professionals say that is why he lashes out on them... he finds it ok to do since other kids are doing it. But I will pay for a new professional thankyou.

Dove - posted on 07/13/2015

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No... sorry, no professional worth your time is not going to offer anything helpful for this situation. If your 3 year old is being violent w/ his parents and caregivers and NOTHING has worked for 2 years... a qualified professional will help and work w/ you and the child. Seek a second opinion from a behavioral therapist or something.

Katherine - posted on 07/13/2015

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I have and the perfessional said he is a normal 3yo. Has great observation skills, extended vocabulary, attention to detail and it able to focus on one thing at a yime. He doesn't feel like it is anything mental it is more of his age because he is great with others. He only does this with us.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/13/2015

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At this point, I would say take him in for an evaluation.

Katherine - posted on 07/13/2015

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We are very consistany. This has gone on for 2 years now. Once he hit a year old his temper tantrums started. Trust me we have stayed consistent and we have work as a team. I am honestly at a loss I am in need of some really good advice

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 07/13/2015

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And how consistent have you been? Things don't work immediately, there is some adjustment time to consider.

Katherine - posted on 07/13/2015

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He has a large vocabulary but doesn't tell us what is wrong. When I got my mom to talk to him last night she asked him why he was naughty and I stepped out the room... he told my mom bc he doesn't like his brother (19 month old) she asked him why and he said because he takes my toys. My mom asked if he felt sad because he wanted more time with mommy and daddy.... his response was "no I have lots of special time with them, we read books, play, cuddle, play outside and alot more!" It makes me feel good that it's not something I am doing wrong but I explained to him that little brothers do that. My mom told him to stop throwing himself on the floor and be good for mommy and daddy. He said he will but the moment he got off the phone he said "may I have crackers and juice?" I said ofcourse buddy. I went to go get it and he threw himself on the floor and started crying and throwing a fit. I don't get it.

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