trouble with in-laws?

Wendy - posted on 07/12/2011 ( 9 moms have responded )

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OK so I am greatful for any help and advice that anybody can give me however, my mother-in-law has recently started to impose advice on me on subjects that I know how to handle perfectly well. How can I politely tell her that i'm not stupid which is how she is making me feel. I've spoken to my husband about this but he says i'm imagining it I don't want to fall out with her but at the same time I know how to be a human being!!! Any advice anyone? Please bare in mind she is (I hate to say it) quite an irrational person!

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Dawn - posted on 07/14/2011

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I hate know it alls. Personally, you should call her and ask her If the two of you can talk. Tell her you enjoy spending time with her but tell her she gives you unwanted advice that makes you feel stupid. I'm all about honesty and confronting problems and you can do this In a way that wont hurt her feelings. Be blunt but gentle while telling her how you feel. I have the same problems with my step mom and my dad, they talk to me as If I'm a walking Idiot, It's made us very distant because even after i told them how I feel they just don't get It so I just don't come over anymore.

Ronette - posted on 07/14/2011

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This reminds me of an "Everybody loves Raymond" episode I saw a couple of weeks ago. You'd probably get a kick out of that one as you can relate to Deborah's situation.

You are a human being and deserve to be heard. Perhaps you could sit down with your MIL and explain how it makes you "feel". She obviously feels that she's helping but not realising the true outcome of her actions. Perhaps if you are able to discuss your feelings with her you can come to an arrangement about when she offers advice.

Good luck.

Beatriz - posted on 07/12/2011

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I think moving far away might help, I know couples do that all the time, that way when she does those things to u its only once in a blue moon and u won't get hurt constantly

Tamara - posted on 07/12/2011

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Don't let her get to you and just say Ok thank you for your views and let it go. Or don't spend time with her. If she isn't taking the hint my now she isn't going to, as they say you can't teach old dogs new tricks, you cant teach old people manners.

Ashley - posted on 07/12/2011

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just turn on that hearing that most men have where you only hear half of what your told :) ,,, it can be hard my mom is the same way to the way I do stuff with my kids to the way I clean my house or do dishes ... the best way to deal with it just knowing that you know better

Wendy - posted on 07/12/2011

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thanks sara - i've been doing that for 3 years now and i'm at the point of i can't take anymore i've spoken to her husband about it too and he just says it's simply her way and that maybe i should listen to her!! (i think he's been a bit brain washed!!) lol I have to laugh about it because if i took it to heart i'd probably have killed myself by now!!

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Just smile, nod politely and say, "Thanks for the advice." And go about your business. She can't get mad at you for being polite. And maybe she'll take the hint.

Wendy - posted on 07/12/2011

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she tries to tell me how to do EVERYTHING differently to the way i'm doing it, whether it be the way I train my dog on the lead, to my kids bedtime routine, to the way I cook my husbands dinner, she has even told me that I wear the wrong style of shoe for my feet!!!

Ashley - posted on 07/12/2011

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all I can say is good luck... your mother in law sounds like my mother... just wondering what kind of things is she trying to give advice on?

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