Trouble with my childs father

Kimberlee - posted on 11/27/2015 ( 11 moms have responded )

5

0

1

My daughters father is filing for visititation rights and i just moved out of the state. Will i have to move back?

I lived with my daughters father for 2 years and we broke up so i moved out and decided to move to another state and now he wants to see her and told me that Michigan will force me to move back there because he wants to see her. I have only lived in Florida for 3 months. Also he is not on her birth certificate and never had DNA test done. Will i have to move back. We were never married. Can someone please help?

11 Comments

View replies by

Dove - posted on 11/29/2015

11,623

0

1348

As others have said... no one can dictate where you live, but the court can absolutely dictate where the child lives. My ex moved away (w/out the kids) and the court decided that he would have to be 100% responsible for all costs involved in him having visitations w/ the kids since he was the one that moved.

I find it highly suspect that you moved w/in 2 days of posting though... That is possible to make you look even worse in court as you might not be seen as a stable environment for the child... Good luck w/ it all.

Sarah - posted on 11/29/2015

8,728

0

21

You moved in two days? No one here is going to look for you. Did you give notice to your employer, where were you living that you could just drop and go back? All of the advice give to you was to seek the advice of an attorney. To quit a job with no notice or bail on a lease isn't going to help demonstrate stability. Don't you think you could have negotiated a visitation schedule where you took turns traveling or at least set a window of time for you to either come back and mediate an agreement?

Ev - posted on 11/29/2015

7,249

7

909

It is always good to better oneself. But in this case, that has to wait as in any case with a child involved.

Kimberlee - posted on 11/29/2015

5

0

1

Well i decided to move for to better mine and my daughters life for a good job and the fact that he never called or asked how she was doing for months and didnt care about where she was at and what she was doing. But i have already moved back.

Ev - posted on 11/29/2015

7,249

7

909

I am not condoning what you did nor am I saying it was not a right move for you eithe,r but in the long run of things; you made a choice that was not a good one. For the child to be taken from her father, you are denying his visitation rights. You are also denying her a relationship with him. The courts will require her return and there is no much you can do about it but go back and go to court and deal with it. The other ladies are right in their advice.

What I wondered was what made you think you had the right to move like that? What were you thinking when you did move? Did you think he would just step away quiet like and do nothing? I am not attacking you but trying to understand what was in your head at the moments you did make those choices.

Married or not, a child was created with this man. Married or not, you both have rights to the relationship with this child. Its not up to one parent or the other to make the choice of another parent and their kids as to how that relationship will be or not be. It is not fair. Just because you do not get along with dad nor like him no more is not good enough reason to go off with the kid.

Sarah - posted on 11/28/2015

8,728

0

21

Maryann and Jodi are correct, you could end up with a court order demanding you send the child to Michigan. By not naming him on the BC when you knew he was the father you committed document fraud and now a court ordered DNA test will have to be done and the BC amended all at the expense of the taxpayer. You created this child together and therefore are equally obligated to financially support the child as well as equally entitled to parent the child until she is 18. Get a lawyer and get some good advice.

Jodi - posted on 11/28/2015

3,527

36

3906

Well, they can't force YOU to move back, but they can force you to send the child back to Michigan. You can't just up and move away from the father of a child, thus denying access. He has the same rights you do. You lived with him for 2 years. It is irrelevant that there has never been a DNA test and he isn't on the birth certificate. Instead, you've just made it more difficult for yourself because the court will order the DNA test, and may order the birth certificate to be changed. So tell me again what you accomplished by denying him these things?

The fact is, he is entitled to visitation, but by moving so far away, you are not giving him that opportunity. So yes, the courts will decide, and they may not decide in your favour. And if he has already filed in Michigan, given you have been living there, and I'm assuming that's where the child is born, you are going to have to go back and be represented at the hearing.

At this point, you should probably get yourself a lawyer.

Kimberlee - posted on 11/27/2015

5

0

1

We were together before i got pregnant and i was taking care of his 4 kids and then i got pregnant and we had a rocky relationship and he ended up breaking up with me and wanted nothing to do with me and the baby when i was almost 8 months pregnant. So he was not around when i had the baby. And after i had her a few months went by and he called me up and said he wanted to work on things so i moved back in with him and stayed there for 2 years taking care of 5 kids while he worked all the time and was never around so our relationship got really bad. So we broke up and i decided to move to another state and i have been gone for 4 months now and hasnt contacted me or asked about his daughter and now he is telling me that he is getting the dna testing done cuz he wants to see his daughter and supposedly his lawyer told him that michigan will force me to move back

MaryAnn - posted on 11/27/2015

347

0

17

You acknowledge him as the father... Why is he not on the birth certificate? He can file for a dna test to prove it if you contest, and if he is the father, he has a right to access and decision making. Why was he not involved in this process?
The court can not force you to live anywhere, but they can place the child in his custody. Your chances probably arent good if you have denied access.

Join Circle of Moms

Sign up for Circle of Moms and be a part of this community! Membership is just one click away.

Join Circle of Moms