Katie - posted on 02/11/2015 ( 12 moms have responded )
I am a 27 year old woman who has never had kids but recently moved in with my boyfriend who has shared custody of his 6 year old son. He and his wife are currently going through the divorce process and I am concerned about the effect it is having on his son.
The shared custody schedule right now is she has him Monday, Wednesday, Friday and every other Sunday.
We have him Tuesday, Thursday, 1/2 day Saturday (her parents get him Friday night and Saturday Morning) and every other Sunday.
This schedule has been working for the past 5 months but since I have moved in, she has been requesting more and more time spent with him and my boyfriend has been accommodating. We are starting to see this lack of consistent schedule have an effect on him. And this week he has been on his normal schedule but we are still seeing issues.
Every night that we have him, he wakes up with nightmares or crying. He woke up last night confused about where he was and was asking for a toy that he keeps at his moms and his frustration peaked. He started crying and said he doesn't understand why he has to leave his room so soon to go somewhere else.
His dad had "the divorce" talk with him and he said he understood. But I cannot shake my uneasy feeling about the situation.
I feel that my presence in the household has caused this instability. His mom does have a boyfriend that lives with her but it's been my arrival that has set off a new round of possessiveness regarding her son and her attempting to keep him for longer periods of time.
When the nightmares started occurring, his dad tried to arrange a new custody schedule of a week with one parent and a week with the other but she is not amiable to that because "she can't be away from her son for that long".
I have never had the opportunity to talk to her other than the hellos when we pick him up or drop him off and the initial meeting.
Would it be helpful or make matters worse if I reached out to her to attempt to talk to her about my presence in the house? To have a woman to woman talk.
Any advice would be appreciated.