Trying to make transitions easier...

Erica - posted on 01/11/2016 ( 3 moms have responded )

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My stepdaughter, Riley, is going to be 5 in Feb and her father and I married about 4 months ago. She and her father lived with her grandparents for about 3 years before we met. Since she and her dad have been living with me full time, she has been throwing HUGE fits when it comes time to leave her grandma's house or her other grandma (mom's side who has weekend visits). She screams, kicks and hits and doesn't want to come back to home. What can I do? Does anyone else experience this?? She is happy as can be while here and plays with my daughters and never seems depressed or sad or anything. Literally, this only happens during pick up from DH's parents or Riley's mom.

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Erica - posted on 01/11/2016

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Thank you ladies. I had read somewhere about a visual schedule so I will put that together for her. I know it's going to take her a while to get used to it for sure. Just want to make sure I'm doing what I can to ease it for her.

Dove - posted on 01/11/2016

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In addition to Evelyn's excellent suggestion... Make sure you (and her father) remain calm during this stage. You KNOW it upsets her and you KNOW she's going to freak out... so remain as calm about it as you can. If her freak outs upset you she will just feed off of that and get more upset.

Transitions are harder for some kids than they are for others. Be patient.

Ev - posted on 01/11/2016

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It is a new change and a big change for a child of this age. She needs more time to get adjusted to this new arrangement. You can not expect her to be ready to deal with transitions so soon. What you can do is let her know you know it bothers her to make so many changes during her week and weekends going back and forth and try to look at it from her point of view. She has to do everything she gets told to do and can not voice her opinion of it and get to do what she wants. Help her to learn to cope with it by coming up with a visual schedule for the week and the events going on leading up to and including going to grandparents/mom;s and coming home. She can see that it takes up only so many of the slots on the visual schedule.

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