Trying to understand

Jay - posted on 01/07/2016 ( 7 moms have responded )

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My daughter is 17 years old and she has a problem with laying sometimes it's just for the littlest things and at this point I just don't know what to do

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Sarah - posted on 01/07/2016

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You don't have to take the lying. I have one of my four who tends to lie more than the others. So I just didn't believe him at all for a time; is your homework done? Yes. Show me. I'd ask his siblings what they did and then he if his story matched. He would lie mostly to not have to do things, and when i caught him I made the workload much more challenging. What got to him was when he would be truthful and I'd say; "well you lied here, here and here so i don't know if you are lying now. It is sad for you and sad for me. He stopped around 12. Keep calling her out on it and ask her why she lies. Especially about things that don't make a bit of difference.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 01/07/2016

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My kids can't tell a lie to save their lives! Didn't stop them from trying though...and the 18 YO has me tying myself in knots about it.

He lies, he gets caught, does it again...I asked him if it was self flagellation...

Nip it. Make the consequences larger than the lie...Its tough sometimes, but its what we gotta do...

Jay - posted on 01/07/2016

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Thanks I'll continue to do that,gotten to the point that I'm like am I ever going to get through to her will she ever understand the importance and being honest..

Jay - posted on 01/07/2016

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and when she was with me I try the whole punishment thing the consequences I figured if I sent it to her dad she could possibly calm down a little bit which certain things have gotten better but just the lying is what I really cannot take

Jay - posted on 01/07/2016

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She lies about everything her friends who she's on the phone with is just ridiculous right now she's not living with me she's living with her dad. try to work on a relationship but it's kind of hard to move forward when she continues to do the same thing I know I may need to put a little bit more detail

Jodi - posted on 01/07/2016

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Make the consequences for lying greater than the consequences for whatever it is she is lying about. You haven't given us a lot of information on the types of things she is lying about. But my kids can't lie for shit - at least, I can tell when they are...and they know it, so they don't even try now, because (1) they know I know they are lying and (2) they KNOW that it will go worse for them if they lie about it.

Raye - posted on 01/07/2016

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Tell her that if she's caught in a lie there will be punishments. Then the next time she's caught, follow through with punishments. You warned her and she chose to break the rules, so it's her own fault. Show her that lying won't be tolerated.

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