Liz - posted on 08/05/2015 ( 8 moms have responded )
I am kind of new to this, and when reading the responses, I thought it is better than other sites I have used to seek advice. Very very encouraging group of woman here. :)
I just turned 34 (no kids) and have been trying to conceive with my husband for the past couple of months. My husband holds me, compliments me, and cannot sleep unless I am in his arms. Romantic right? No, because in the bedroom I am feeling more like his teddy bear and less like a wife with "needs". When we were dating, we did it every other day. Then it changed to 2 times a week. Then it changed to one time a week. Then once every 8 or 9 days. Since staring to try to conceive a child, it has gone down to 2 times a month! He doesnt understand (or doesnt care) that this takes perfect timing, and his "baby we will do it tomorrow. Promise" cant cut it. So, I get it once a cycle. :( He tends to be a laid back guy (except if it involves his car), and often puts things on the back burner, but this is just not going to work. I've brought it up, but he just gets defensive. I've tried lingerie, couple toys, offered to maybe watch port together (did it in the past with a boyfriend and I loved it) He prides himself in being tall and muscular, but that means nothing to me if I cant derive pleasure from it. I suggested we take a month off from baby making, lessen the pressure (because I know he feels pressure). I read it would help. Well, it has been 9 days since we last had sex.
I am growing more and more resentful toward him, and it is even worse whenever his son is around. That only reminds me that if my plan A (conceiving a child) does not work, my husband will not take it as badly as I would, because he has a son already. I think that contributes to his laid back attitude. I care about my 16 yr old stepson. I do not want to feel that way. But I think my husband would care more if he also had no kids.
Question: How do I avoid growing resentful toward my stepson?
Question: I am tired of initiating sex and being turned away, so how am I going to get satisfaction?
Question: He is a little "done" with me reminding him how important it is to do it at the right time in order to conceive, only makes it worse... so how am I supposed to keep it in the front burner?
MAYBE YOU WILL FIND THIS FUNNY...
My husband is a detailer, and when asked how his cars come out so immaculate, he had this to say..."You have to treat the car as if it were your woman. You learn every inch, every curve...soft and move with each curve. You need to pay attention to detail, and take your time with your woman..work with the curves" He even modeled how to "move with the car". REALLY?? I wanted to throw something at him when I heard that. "You got those people thinking you're some kind of latin lover. How come I never get these moves? What about MY inches?!" PFF
Anyway, just looking for help,