TTC our first child and going crazy??

[deleted account] ( 6 moms have responded )

Hi everyone! This is my first post so I thought it would be smart to kind of give you a run down of who I am and my previous condition. I'm 19, but I feel like I'm 25! I'll be 20 in October. I've been TTC with my fiancé for 6 months with the complications of Secondary Amenorrhea Syndrome (I used to have periods, but now I don't). I got diagnosed this in February after getting off my birth control in November and never getting a period after that. I was on the pill for 5 years. I got prescribed Provera in March and got a period April (after 10 days of taking the Provera, on the 3rd day after). And I just got a NATURAL period May 1st and it lasted until the 6th! After having my first true period in 5 months, I got these unusual twingy cramps in what felt like my ovaries. Mainly in the right side though! And I wasn't checking my CF right after my period until days later, but there wasn't any CF on my underwear. Now I'm checking my cervical fluid and have been for the past week and it has been 13 days post AF. It was super sticky and thick when I started checking and it has gotten more liquidy and there is a bit more of it than usual. I have super bad anxiety, so can someone just try and shed some light to this? Shouldn't I be ovulating soon? Could I have ovulated during my period or immediately after? Did any of you have secondary amenorrhea syndrome? How long did it take for you to get a semi-normal period back and conceive? Thanks in advance!

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Michelle - posted on 05/19/2016

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I agree with Sarah about waiting.
You have your whole life ahead of you, why are you in a rush to have a baby?
Raising a child is hard and it gets harder as they get older as well. They get expensive so you would be better off establishing a great foundation for your relationship and also income.

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♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 05/20/2016

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I'm sorry, but a fiance is NOT a spouse. Granted, even a spouse can cut and run, but it's a heck of a lot easier for a fiance to do so...

I agree with the other ladies. You are 19 for Christ's sake. You need to possibly re-think this.

Working in a daycare is NOT the same as parenting. It never is, never will be. Other things to take into consideration: Will the daycare ALLOW you to "work until you pop"? Once you have that child, you also have absolutely no guarantee if the daycare where you are employed will actually have openings in newborn creche, so don't set that in stone either. As far as your "commitment"...I dated, was engaged to, and LIVED WITH my fiancee for over 4 years. Guess what? I'm married to an entirely DIFFERENT man, because when the push came to shove about a wedding, my "fiancee" couldn't hack it. When I ended up pregnant, he wanted me to abort (ended in miscarriage as it was, which was probably for the best, hindsight being what it is)

Yes, life looks all bright and shiny at the ripe young age of 19...Good luck with whatever you decide.

[deleted account]

I very much appreciate your concern! There are a lot of things I want to experience in life, but I'd like to experience it with my family. To me, it is a very thought out life choice. Ever since I was small, I knew I wanted to do things backwards. (Though I knew it wouldn't be easy). I knew I wanted to focus on starting a family first, and THEN pursue whatever career I'd like as soon as my kids were all older. I have a stable job at a daycare full-time. I'd be working until I pop and then enroll my child into my daycare. My fiancé has a very stable job making nearly 6 figures a year. When we met, we both had savings accounts for our future wedding/kids/etc. We are both very responsible people. We have continued to save since we've met, so you could say we are very stable for our ages. (He is 21). I've talked a lot with my doctor about everything and she's very confident my man and I have very good heads on our shoulders and is amazed with how thought out this whole process has been for how young we are. She said she wishes every young person would take pregnancy and having a child as seriously as we do. No matter what age, everyone should be responsible. It's a child's life for goodness sake. I really do appreciate your opinions and that you're trying to look out for me when you don't even know me. That just shows me you have a good heart. Thank you!

Michelle - posted on 05/20/2016

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We are talking from experience. At 19 you are just starting out on your life journey. There are so many things to experience in life before settling down and having children. At 19 it isn't a very thought out life choice, it's what you want now.
How are you going to support a child? What job do you have and what savings? These are legitimate questions to ask yourself when deciding to have children.

[deleted account]

I thought this forum was for support and encouragement and reassurance... Not discouraging me from my very thought out life choices

Sarah - posted on 05/19/2016

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First, Secondary Amenorrhea Syndrome is diagnosed after 6 months without a period, not 3. You did get a period May 1 and it lasted 5 days, that is very normal. Your vaginal secretions vary over the course of the month, from virtually nothing after your period, to what is like egg-whites around ovulation and then slowly increasing thin secretion til you period starts. The pain you mention; if it is mid cycle may very well be mittelschmerz pain, which come from the irritation of the ruptured follicle after you ovulate. If you feel that, and want a baby have sex. But, here is my issue. You are 19 for Christ's sake! What is the rush, you aren't even married yet! Why not wait until you've been married and enjoyed each other for a time before you add the stress of a baby.
Parenting is hard, harder than you ever think it will be and without a solid foundation it can be dang near impossible. You have YEARS to start a family, you can't ever get those early years of your marriage back.

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