Tweens

Trina - posted on 10/17/2014 ( 5 moms have responded )

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Is it normal for them to take all anger out on their single moms as kids are in their tweens? My younger son is about to turn 12.

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Chet - posted on 10/17/2014

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Recognition and sympathize with the emotion, but encourage better ways to express it.

It's okay to say you're angry. It's not okay to call names.

It's okay to say that you hate what your mother did. It's not okay to say you hate your mother and you wish she was dead.

It's also good to empower kids, and encourage them to find solutions to their problems. Help your son to makes plans and find solutions instead of getting angry. Underscore that being angry and mean doesn't help, but there are lots of things he can do to make his situation better when something goes wrong.

Chet - posted on 10/17/2014

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Kids often lash out at the people they trust the most. It means they really believe that you love them unconditionally.

That doesn't mean you shouldn't work with your son to express his emotions without been mean or hurtful, but this kind of behaviour can pretty common and something you just need to work with him on.

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Trina - posted on 10/20/2014

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Morning,

Good advice. I'm also arranging for him to be able to 'talk' to someone; he may feel better opening up about certain things if he feels he can't talk to me about them - in the meantime I just keep things light and give him the attention he craves; I want to be able to do that all the time but it is soooooo much harder (everything is) when you're a single parent.

Trina - posted on 10/17/2014

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Someone else told me something similar just yesterday; that it is the person they trust the most and/or actually feel closest to, that they will do this to. I guess I can wrap my head around that part, but the hurtful things he says about me, directly to me, just have me reeling. Sometimes I just don't know what to do.

Amy - posted on 10/17/2014

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I have the same thing with my 8 year old, he's basically told me he acts that way with me and not his father because his father will flip out on him. He feels safe expressing himself to me because I will love him regardless, with that being said I allow him to express himself but he can not be disrespectful.

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