Twins with ADHD

Lissa - posted on 11/25/2015 ( no moms have responded yet )

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My partner and I are at our wits end on how to deal with the behavioral issues of our 10 year twin boys with ADHD. It is tough enough keeping one kid with ADHD on task let alone two that bounce their inappropriate behavior off each other. Their names are Bryan and Ryan. Some of the issues we have are morning and evening routine (they can barely dress themselves, brush their own teeth and change into PJs we have to basically hold their hand through the whole process), vulgar language (everything from the typical boy body function talk to suck my d$%#, calling us the B word and plenty of F bombs), physical fighting issues, senseless noises, copying, rude responses every single time we ask them to do something, arguing with everything. It is getting to the point where our lives completely revolve around just getting these kids to do the basic tasks in life. We have tried morning and night time routine charts which map out exactly what to do and in what order. We created the program with their therapist so they get two reminders and are supposed to do their routine in 30 minutes. We set a timer for them to keep them motivated. We wake them up an hour before they need to be done so they get plenty of time to let their pill sink in and do their routine. If they get it done they get a token reward to save towards prizes. They only need 5 tokens for a prize out of the bucket. They rarely earn tokens. And if we put them in a 10 minute time out every time they said a bad word they would never leave their rooms. School work takes both my partner and I working with them for 3-4 hours after we pick them up from day care to complete homework and they still refuse to do the 30 minute reading journal part of their daily assignments. Which after several hours of fighting with them with every question of their homework the reading journal often gets pushed aside for dinner or the simple fact that we have to go to bed. All along our 9 year old daughter is doing her homework, trying to get our help sometimes, and playing alone in her room. She is starting to act out in ways to get our attention too. The boys have already been held back once. They are in 4th grade now. If they are held back again they will be in the same grade as their little sister. We need help but money is tight with all their needs and meds. They take two pills in the morning and one at 2pm. I have tried everything I can think of. Lists of weekend chores that earn them $5 that list off what they need to do so we don't have to yell at them to do it. We have tried family meetings. They are actually behaving well at school according to the teachers but that is because they are separated. They were recently thrown out of a day care for their behavior and enrolled at another day care under a probationary term. Today they are at the day care for a full day since school is out wed-friday for thanksgiving and my partner and I are just waiting for the call from the daycare of some disaster. This just isn't a way to live for them, for us or their little sister. Evelyn basically has to confine herself to her room so they don't hit her. The boys take over the house. They have a room and a playroom but they insist on getting dressed in the living room where they hit each other with their cloths, tackle each other, throw things. I have resorted to spending my full morning to being a ref. It is just by luck that I have to be at work just 30 minutes later so once they leave I quickly get myself ready after spending an hour literally standing between them as they get ready having to help them get dressed and focused. I am very worried that if we can't get a handle on this we are going to have bigger teenagers acting this way which will be much more dangerous for them, us and their sister. Their father only drops in maybe once every three months to take them to dinner. He is of NO help! We really need help with them! PLEASE!

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