UGH! INLAWS!!

User - posted on 11/02/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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I am going to try to keep this short...but it's going to be hard. My husband's family drives me completely crazy. They are rude, selfish, ignorant, loud, annoying, disrespectful, the list goes on and on. I have a 16 year old daughter who they have turned their noses up at time and time again. They have made comments to her about her hair, her weight, and are always trying to come up with something that they can feel smarter talking about with her. I also have a 4 year old son. I don't want them around him to make him feel the way they have made my daughter feel. They do the same thing to my husband but unfortunately he is too immune to them to see it. They are always talking down to him and trying to correct him on everything. Even on his own business that they truly know nothing about. They only call him when they want something or need something from him. "They" meaning his sisters, brother, father, niece, and nephews. None of them ever call or send a birthday card to my children. My daughter just celebrated her 16th. Not even a phone call. And my husband just turned 40. Against my gut feeling, I invited his family, along with mine, to a restaurant to celebrate. I told everyone, my family included, that I could not pay for everyone. They all agreed that I shouldn't have to and that everyone would pay for themselves. The restaurant would not do separate checks so I put the whole thing on my credit card. My father, cousins, etc, gave me cash for theirs. His family gave me nothing. Nothing! Not a dime. There were 11 of them! His own father didn't offer anything but when his other kids turned 40 he put money towards their parties. Why not my husband? That night was the last straw for me. After almost 20 years of marriage I just can't take them another moment.
So, after all of that (and there is plenty that I left out), my question is this... Am I wrong for not wanting anything to do with these people? Is it wrong that I don't want my children around them anymore? Is it wrong that I don't want my husband around them?

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User - posted on 11/09/2014

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Of course I have! Numerous times. My husband is just so desperate for their approval that he is blind to how they are and what they do.

Ev - posted on 11/02/2014

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Have you ever during all these years talked to just your husband about this situation and how it makes you feel as well as pointing out what they do to your daughter and how they make her feel? Have you ever pointed out that they do not contribute to birthdays and such even if just a card? Sounds like you have not tried that.

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