Undermineing me, not putting me first and does he love me

Sue - posted on 09/06/2013 ( 2 moms have responded )




June 18th I took on two girls 11 and 12. There mum had taken them to Greece for 3 years and they had no education. Now she has left them with my husband of 2 years and I. I was told it would be 3 weeks. It is now September. He keeps holding back on putting them in to school and household discipline and calls me draconian. He sayshe wants me to look after his kids but will not back me up. The eldest goes running to Dad with the SHE bit and he bites back at me in front or in ear shot of them. He also talks to them about me in ear shot. He now tells me they want to go to Spain and seems to be blameing me. Ive supported his decisions all the way and tried my best to provide a home though it is too small. The reality is there is probably no chance of them going. X wife demands he goes to Spain at Christmas to be with her and the girls. He wants space overnight and isnt sure he loves me now. It might be just a bump but our relationship( from being a good one andive always supported him )has gone down hill. Ive made a stand and told him they have to go back to Spain if he does not get them in to school but at the end of the day it is not my choice to send them back there. They would be better off here. It has to be between him and her. I am very unhappy. He even slept with me yesterday and now says he doesnt know if he loves me. I am very sad. My son 18 has been brilliant in adviseing me today and a member of the church came round to see me as I was in tears today. Ps I have to go to hospital in October so I cant look after them anyway for 10 days. He also has to reply to the education authority himself this week. I have no parental rights.


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Kim - posted on 09/06/2013




If he doubts his feelings for you and doesn't treat you like an equal part of the household, you might want to look into counseling. That is not a healthy relationship for anyone to be in or around.

Michelle - posted on 09/06/2013




I think you need to step back and let him deal with his children. If he is acting like that to you in front of them then he deal deal with them all the time.
As far as your relationship goes, maybe you should go away for a while. Go and visit some relatives and make sure you are ready to go to hospital. Being apart can help couple find if they really want to be together or not.

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