Undisciplined 16 year old daughter

[deleted account] ( 15 moms have responded )

How you best discipline a 16 daughter who returns home late from being with her girl friends until 2am?

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Jodi - posted on 08/28/2016

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Actually, Emily, I think you will find that if a 16 year old decided you had assaulted them, they could certainly press charges. Hitting a teenager is inappropriate. If you are still hitting your kids when they are teens, then I would fully expect them to turn around and hit you back or charge you with assault. There is also NO law that says parents are "obligated" to hit their kids.

I agree with Dove - if you need to hit your teenagers, you have failed as a parent.

Dove - posted on 08/28/2016

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If you can't parent a teenager w/out hitting them... you are a failure as a parent. I'm not completely anti-spanking, but my teenagers were probably 8 the last time they ever got a single swat (and anything more than a single swat IS abusive)... My daughters are almost 15 now and other than the fact that they are a bit lazy when it comes to cleaning up their messes... we literally have zero behavior/discipline issues... ever.

♫ Shawnn ♪♫♫ - posted on 08/28/2016

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At the age of 16, spanking IS assault, and in some areas can be prosecuted.

Why can you not verbally communicate?

Ev - posted on 08/28/2016

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I am a rational adult. And you need to do more research before you tell me that all states see it the same way. All states have various laws on this. I have raised my kids and as I said they are law abiding adults.

Ev - posted on 08/28/2016

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It is considered assault. They are teenagers and you can reason with them or talk to them about their behavior and then give proper consequences.

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Dove - posted on 08/29/2016

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That's true too, Jodi. I start telling my kids from young that by the time they are older preteens if they hit me I will press charges against them... and I fully expect if I were to legitimately hit one of the girls that they would hit me back. That's not WHY I don't hit them, of course, but the only way a teenager is going to accept an assault is if they've been conditioned w/ abuse. :(

Emily - posted on 08/28/2016

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Not according to the legal system and by rational adults. Enjoy your evening.

Emily - posted on 08/28/2016

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You had said spanking was assault. I was telling you it isn't. Your method of discipline may or may not work for you. Only you the parent can decide that.
One size does not fit all.

Please do not try and tell others that use corporal punishment that they are assaulting their children.

Ev - posted on 08/28/2016

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Emily
There is no law or an other statement that says parents have to use corporal punishment to raise their kids. Where did you get that idea? I have raised two kids to adulthood and the only time I did "spank" them was when they were little and it was an immediate need to keep them from danger and was a swat to the bottom. It is considered assault in some states to hit a teen be it a spanking or not. It is also against the law to use corporal punishment in some states. In my state parents have to give written consent for a school to give corporal punishment to their kids. I never gave that permission. I did not want someone other than myself to give that punishment if it was needed.

As a parent of millennials, I used other forms of punishment or consequences such as taking away appropriate privileges that went along with the rule broken, sentence writing, not going anywhere, loosing out on special activities. My kids did not have access to internet, phones, or any tech really that could be taken away because their dad nor I could afford to buy it for them.

I can say today that I have law abiding adult children who learned their lessons without corporal punishment.

There is nothing out there that says a parent has to use that to punish their kids. I do not know where you got that idea..

Emily - posted on 08/28/2016

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I totally disagree. In our state, as well as many other states, the parents have the responsibility and obligation to corporal punish to raise their children. As it has been the case since the dawn of man kind.

It in no way does it imply assault, no more than sending kids to timeout is equivalent to a jail sentence.

Ev - posted on 08/28/2016

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Emily, I agree with the saying but there are other means to handle teens like the no internet or phone or other things but the trip to the woodshed is considered assault.

Emily - posted on 08/28/2016

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We firmly believe in spare the rod, spoil the child in household. A trip to the woodshed would work magic. In addition, no internet, cell phones, no car.

Any back talk etc result in more trips to the woodshed.


Should resolve this in a hurry.

Ev - posted on 08/28/2016

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I am glad to hear that but you are her parent and you should have set rules up long ago for her including a curfew.

[deleted account]

She has now agreed to no longer go out with her friends if they will be out late. Instead she will be home by 6 pm on school nights and 9pm on the weekends

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