Roger - posted on 01/14/2014 ( 81 moms have responded )
Firstly i'm a guy so it would be great to hear things from a female perspective. I truly want to make sure i am not being unreasonable and find it no problem to change my behavior if i'm being unreasonable hence why i would like your advice. Its better that i am as truthful as possible as i dont want to seem like im a victim, which i am not.
My partner is a stay at home mum, shes 25 and im 32. I work full time, sometimes 12 hours without a break, i also train at the gym 2-3 times a week so the o/h is with the baby 95% of the week. I never wanted the O/H to be isolated so i ensured we went on all the prenatal courses, and now she has some great friends locally. She will meet them 1-3 times a week. I of course work hard, and luckily earn a very good wage, so everything the O/H wants she gets. Ive recently bought her a new car, upgraded the TV package to cable, allowed her to join a gym and use the creche so she can make time for herself and give her an allowance. Essentially anything she wants she can have, we have 2-3 holidays a year and i am going to pay for nursery next year for our daughter so the O/H can go back to school. All i ask is that the chores are done so by the weekend we can enjoy family time. We had a massive argument in which she asked me to hang up some wet clothing from the washing machine which i didnt do right away. It then escalated to she does everything and i do nothing. She then kept on insisting "what do I round the house". She kept repeating this over and over. She then added that she keeps the house tidy to keep me happy. I felt slightly upset by this because shouldnt you keep a house tidy because you want to? all her friends dont have 5% of the lifestyle we have, i just expected something more than this reaction. I then told her she sounded ungrateful and somehow shes lost track of reality. Essentially she came from a dead end job staying at her parents, and not owning anything, her friends and family all struggle financially. Ive always tried to give her the best, but am i doing something wrong here. I used to be a bit picky with chores, but im less so now and have thought about hiring a cleaner to help out. Am i being unreasonable here?