Unhappy Child

NaTasha - posted on 02/15/2014 ( 2 moms have responded )

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My ex and I broke up almost a year ago after a 14year relationship .Everytime, he takes our child to a sporting event he takes along his new girlfriend child. My child comes inside sad and doesn't talk to me much. Am I being selfish if I tell that dad he needs to spend some alone time with his own child? My child is still trying to handle this break up situation. This man has been in my child's life since birth up until 10 months ago. What should I do?

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NaTasha - posted on 02/15/2014

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Thanks Evelyn, I'm also trying to get dad to stop calling me everyday we've moved on. Too late to be sorry!

Ev - posted on 02/15/2014

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If you have noted that your child is not happy when spending time with dad, you need to try to get your child to voice this. You can not put words into your child's mouth. If you are still worried that dad is not spending one on one time with your child you had together, then voice it. Just hint at that your child seems sad after the outings and time together because the other kid is around all the time. Ask dad if he does spend one to one time with your child. Most times dad is going to say yes but if you have had it from your child dad has not, then you can say something. But that does not mean he is going to do it. Once the man has moved on from you, what he does with his time that he has with your child together is up to him regardless of what you want. If he chose not to spend time alone with his own child then its going to look bad for him in your child's eyes and in their relationship. Its up to dad to make that relatiionship not you. I know this from experience with my kids. Once their dad married again after me, he would not spend alone time with them even once a week for a couple of hours. He decided that if he could not have the entire family join in they could not do that. My kids wanted dad to themselves for just a short time. That was all they wanted. They got it once. Now from what I do know, my kids are not as close to their dad as they once were. Just help your child to deal with it as time goes on. Just make sure he or she knows you love them no matter what and that you are there for him or her. Also do not make rude comments about dad either if your child asks why. Just tell him or her you do not know why dad is this way but he is and all that can be done is for your child to ask each time for dad to spend time with just him or her.

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