Unique last name situation. Need advice!

Francine - posted on 11/28/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )




I had been dating my boyfriend for almost 3 years when we broke up. After a few months I started dating someone else and quickly ended up pregnant. The relationship didn't work out and we broke up. Unsurprisingly, the father disappeared. I haven't heard from him in weeks. A few days ago, my boyfriend and I got back together. We're pretty much picking up where we left off and plan to get engaged soon. We won't be married by the time the baby comes but we MAY be engaged by then.

My question, can I give the baby my boyfriend's (hopefully fiancé by then) last name? I highly doubt the biological father is going to come around and even if he does, there's no way he's going to be really active in my daughter's life so I want her to have the last name to match me and the man who will be raising her. Are there any rules about the baby's last name?


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Jenifer - posted on 11/28/2015




I think you should give the child YOUR name. You seem to be the one constant in her life. Whose to say down the road you don't break up with him, AGAIN?

Sarah - posted on 11/28/2015




I agree, give the baby your last name. If down the road, your BF becomes your husband AND the bio-dad is either stripped of or surrenders his parental rights, then he can adopt and the child can take his last name. Until it is a legal relationship between the child and your hopeful future husband, to give the child that last name would be a risk.
Also, if you are even considering leaving the father's name of the BC, leave it blank do NOT write "unknown" that is fraud. Like Dove pointed out the bio dad can easily come in and prove paternity and get the BC amended. Just because you think he won't turn up later does not mean he won't. You may decide to file for child support and paternity must be established in order to do so. Finally, if the bio-dad were to become disabled or pass away his child would be entitled to government benefits and even his estate. It is wise to just be honest, follow the law and not make things more complicated for you and your child.

Dove - posted on 11/28/2015




You can name your child whatever you want... but w/ the instability in your life (moving back and forth between different men so quickly) I would be hesitant to give the child a last name of someone that is not a biological or legal parent.

You will have to name the child's biological father on the birth certificate unless you choose to leave it blank... but if the biological father ever does decide to get involved he can have the birth certificate amended rather easily w/ his name as the father.

Jodi - posted on 11/28/2015




Given both relationships are unstable (you broke up with the man you are with - I'd hardly consider it a stable relationship at this point), why not just give the baby YOUR last name?

You also can NOT add the boyfriend to the baby's birth certificate, as that would be fraudulent. You should add the name of the biological father or leave it blank.

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