Unruly 12 year old

Andrea - posted on 06/23/2015 ( 12 moms have responded )

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I have a preteen son who thinks he knows everything. He doesn't like school and all he wants to do is watch TV and play video games. I try telling him the importance of education but he doesn't listen to me. I'm at my breaking point. Any suggestions or advice is appreciated.

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Priscille - posted on 06/24/2015

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Preteens can be soooo arogant! They literally do think they know it all!! :)

I personally, would try another route with him. At the moment it seems like the connection between you is broken when school is concerned, and you are both standing your ground on what you both believe to be the right course for him.

Thing is, when they are small, we can quite easily make our children do what we want them to. But as they grow up, it becomes more and more difficult. And the last thing you want is a full grown teenager that conflicts with you on every single topic. (I've been one like that, so I know fully well how difficult that is for the teen and now that I am an adult can very well imagine how difficult it was too for my mom too!!)

What I would do is try to find a way to create a stronger connection with him so that you can continue to influence him in a positive way regarding school.

Apart from tv and video games what does he like? What activity would he appreciate that you do together? How could you have a conversation with him about a neutral topic where you can just share a nice moment together. Reinforce the bond you both have and let him see how loved he is by you. Be more open to what he has to say and listen to what he is feeling (listening doesn't mean you agree with it, it only means you hear him).

When he can feel that the dynamic between you is changing, he will be more open to what you have to say about education and school.

Elisa - posted on 07/02/2015

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Take away video games. make him get work around the house done yard work he's at the age where if u Dont make him responsible he will grow up to be lazy and if he Dont listen keep on taking away if that don't work call the cops to give him little scare

Jodi - posted on 07/01/2015

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"At his age, nothing he does in school will really benefit him in the long run."

You are kidding, right?

What kind of job do you have, may I ask?

Drama - posted on 07/01/2015

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I would be more concern of maybe an underlying problem. You need to find a way to get him to communicate to you about what is really going on in his life. At that age, everything is a big issue. Make sure he knows you love him and will be there for him.

Jodi - posted on 06/24/2015

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I'd just ignore it. Honestly, he needs to learn to suck it up. School is his JOB, end of story. My children, right from day one have been raised with the understanding that just like their parents have a job, they do to - and school is it. They need to treat it like a job with the same responsibility that we treat our jobs.

However, having said that, I would ask him WHY he hates school. Has it always been this way? Is this a new thing?

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Andrea - posted on 07/02/2015

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That's my point its not just worrying about what will not benefit him in the long run its early training to apply himself in what ever he does if I allow him to just get by now that will be his whole attitude through life (as long as I pass what do I care) . And yes I have taken away stuff that he actually never even got well at least one good thing came out of everything I've tried so far because this is the first year in 6 yrs he won't have to go to summer school he at least made it out this year with a 78.5 average so I'm at least happy for that could be better but its a start.Thanks for all the feedback they have been helpful.

Andrea - posted on 06/23/2015

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Thanks Jodi actually did that today so now it's the i'm going to run away, I'm sorry I was. born I hate my life etc frankly I don't care what he wants to hate right now like I told him its done my way or he will have absolutely no summer.

Jodi - posted on 06/23/2015

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You can't tell him he must like school, but you can sure as heck tell him he's GOING to school and he needs to apply himself or be grounded! How about banning the tv and video games until he picks up his attitude?

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