Using Spanking to Encourage Responsibility

Louise - posted on 10/02/2015 ( 4 moms have responded )

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When I was a girl, my mother would sometimes have me supervise my younger brother. Several times when he got into mischief I was also spanked for not adequately supervising him. is that a good way to teach responsibility?

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Sarah - posted on 10/02/2015

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How do you feel? Do you feel it was a good way to teach responsibility? Did you gain a sense of responsibility for how they treated the situation? Or did it teach you something different (fear, resentment, etc.)? Do you feel you were more connected to your parents by how they dealt with this situation or more disconnected? How do you want to be with your children (connected or disconnected)? Are there different way today that might be a better way of dealing with the situation?

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Dove - posted on 10/02/2015

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Spanking doesn't actually 'teach' anything... so no, it's not. Talking to a child about what they did wrong and why it was wrong, modeling appropriate behaviors, and removing privileges as closely related to the offense as possible are much better strategies than simply hitting someone.

Jodi - posted on 10/02/2015

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Spanking does not encourage anything. Spankings are a deterrent and punishment, not an encouragement.

In your situation, rewarding you for the opposite would have been far more effective. I don't recall ever being spanked as a child (I know one of my younger brothers was a couple of times) and I, too, am a responsible woman with a career and a family. I assure you, the spankings did not get you there. People grow up to be responsible adults without the spankings.

Louise - posted on 10/02/2015

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Thanks for responding Sarah. I have to admit that I have mixed feelings about it. I did grow up to be a responsible woman with a career and family. I feel that my parents demanding standards and consistent enforcement steered me in that direction. As to being punished for not supervising my brother, I now see their reasoning. I was also raised in an environment where corporal punishment was not unusual. I sometimes felt resentful but then Mom and I would talk and I'd feel close to her again.

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