Valentines

Ashley - posted on 02/15/2016 ( 8 moms have responded )

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My baby's dad hasn't treated me for valentine's day ??? Today he says if he gets paid he will get me something . It was the same way last year exempt he didn't make up for it last year . I still feel sad about the whole valentine's love day thing and would loved anything to of made me feel special that day but I didn't get anything at all not even special treatment is it wrong for me to feel this way ???

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Michelle - posted on 02/15/2016

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I agree with the other ladies. It's just a day. As long as he treats you well every other day then that's all that matters.
My husband sent me flowers to work on Friday and we spent the day together as a family on Sunday. We do that every Sunday so it wasn't "special" but every Sunday is special. He quite often sends me flowers though.
Have you spoken to him about how you feel? Most men need to actually be told, not just expected to know what we want or how we feel. Communication is the key to any long lasting relationship.

Jodi - posted on 02/15/2016

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It's just a day set up for commercial purposes. My husband and I don't do Valentines Day. Honestly, it's just commercial bullshit. If he treats you right all year round, that's the important thing. I'd much rather that. Also, my husband and I celebrate our anniversary - that's something special and unique to us.

Basically, you shouldn't define your relationship based on one day.

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Jodi - posted on 02/17/2016

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The modern day idea of Valentines day is actually a made up commercial beat up - noone actually acknowledges its traditional beginnings - they focus on the commercial crap. I realise there is a history to the day and the patron saint, but noone actually bothers with that. What has become the ideal of Valentines Day these days is not the traditional meaning of the day, hence why I don't bother celebrating it. But then, I don't think it as big a deal in Australia as it seems to be in some other places. These days it is just a commercial opportunity, just like Halloween is.

Sarah - posted on 02/16/2016

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BTW As Evelyn Witt pointed out in the other thread on this exact subject, Valentine's Day is not a made up holiday:

"The history of Valentine’s Day–and the story of its patron saint–is shrouded in mystery.The Catholic Church recognizes at least three different saints named Valentine or Valentinus, all of whom were martyred. One legend contends that Valentine was a priest who served during the third century in Rome. When Emperor Claudius II decided that single men made better soldiers than those with wives and families, he outlawed marriage for young men. Valentine, realizing the injustice of the decree, defied Claudius and continued to perform marriages for young lovers in secret. When Valentine’s actions were discovered, Claudius ordered that he be put to death. Other stories suggest that Valentine may have been killed for attempting to help Christians escape harsh Roman prisons, where they were often beaten and tortured. According to one legend, an imprisoned Valentine actually sent the first “valentine” greeting himself after he fell in love with a young girl–possibly his jailor’s daughter–who visited him during his confinement. Before his death, it is alleged that he wrote her a letter signed “From your Valentine,” an expression that is still in use today. Although the truth behind the Valentine legends is murky, the stories all emphasize his appeal as a sympathetic, heroic and–most importantly–romantic figure. By the Middle Ages, perhaps thanks to this reputation, Valentine would become one of the most popular saints in England and France." Quoted from History of Valentine's Day at History.com.

Jodi - posted on 02/15/2016

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I'd be more concerned if he didn't do anything for your birthday or anniversary - THEY are special love days. And as a parent, I hold Mother's Day as pretty special too. The rest of it is just commercial fluff. Valentines Day is not a special love day - it is a made up commercial love day. In the grand scheme of a strong relationship, it really is irrelevant unless you choose to make it relevant.

Ashley - posted on 02/15/2016

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It's kind of hard for me to say it doesn't really matter when it kind of does because its valentine's everyone knows thats a pretty special love day especially for most us ladies.. n my man claiming I'm his everything would go about making this day a happy n a sweet one for us both by doing a little something but on the other hand ya'll right about that it's just a day no need to dwell on that ... I am with this man, I love this man and there's no need to be all boo hoo about it like you said communication is the key ... so expressing my feelers will be the right thing to do ... I hate missing out on this day that's all ❤❤❤

Ashley - posted on 02/15/2016

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Yes which I did... I made a turkey dinner with lit candles for us to enjoy . Our finances werent there this weekend so I thought this would be nice but at least i went about trying to do something nice but did my man no not really but he does love n respect me so what am I doing getting sad when I have this in my relationship

Dove - posted on 02/15/2016

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It is not wrong for you to feel how you feel. Feelings are not easily controlled and they happen whether they are 'right' or not. What you DO about those feelings is what makes them right or wrong.

Personally I think Valentine's Day is overrated. It's one day. Sure, something special is nice, but what really matters is how he treats you the other 364 days/year. If he loves and respects you... that is what you focus on.

If it's really important to you... why not take it upon yourself to make the special plans for the two of you to enjoy together?

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