Mama To 4 - posted on 07/18/2015 ( 3 moms have responded )
I am married with 4 children. My oldest son is 12, and he is from a previous relationship, but his bio father has not been in his life since he was 2 yrs old. So my husband has been his "only" father. Here is the issue: My husband never says anything positive to my son, belittles him, is cold to him (never laughs at his jokes). The only verbal interaction they have is my husband telling him what to do, what he's doing wrong, or starting some type of argument.This obviously bothers my son and he lets my husband know which causes him to tell my son that he is being overly sensitive and overreacting. I stick up all the time for my son and my husband gets mad at me too, telling me I'm over reacting and to back off. My son thinks my husband hates him and doesn't love him at all. This breaks my heart. I have had so many talks with my husband and then he acts like he understands and tries to be loving to my son, but it only lasts for a day then he is back to being really mean. He doesn't think he is doing anything wrong. For example, yesterday my husband accused my son of lying about playing his playstation when he was really playing on his phone....I don't understand why my husband brought this up. My son said that he wasn't lying- he did play his playstation and then played on his phone after that. My husband said to my son that he is overreaction and caused my son to cry. Then my son got a upset and said "I hate you" to my husband. He said " I hate you too" right back to him!
I want to leave him, however there are no physical bruises and I am afraid that we will get shared custody. He is a 6th grade school teacher and kids/parents think he is wonderful. However, at home he is manipulative, and very mean. So I am afraid the courts won't give me full custody. I have 3 other kids with him (one is only 15 months old) and I can't stand the thought of them being with him without me there. Then I won't be able to protect or stand of for them at all! Any advice?