Proud To Be A Mum! - posted on 08/22/2012 ( 8 moms have responded )
This is the first time im posting in this forum. Ive had this problem for just over a year.
I have a 1 and 4 months year old baby. My brother has 2 boys, one is 7 and the other is 5. We meet at my mum's for lunch every Sunday. The problem is here, the 7 year old is very disobedient and sometimes quite disrespectful with my regards. Before i had the baby, i had a very good relationship with them. I used to love playing and spend time with them. When they came in from the door they used to come running to me yelling my name and that used to make me so happy. Obviously when i had the baby, things changed. Mostly because my son had difficulty in sleeping at night up till he was 1 year old, he takes a nap in the early afternoon every single day. I feel that the 7 year old is quite jealous of having the baby stealing time with his aunt and therefore when he notices that im in the next room at my mum's trying to put the baby to sleep, he makes noises on purpose, screams, kicks toys, runs around the corridor etc. One particular episode happened last year, when again i was trying to put my son to sleep, he was only 4 months old. He knew i was trying to put him to sleep, so he started again disrespecting. I went out 3 times asking nicely to stop, explaining to him that i was trying to put the baby to sleep and promising that as soon as he sleeps to get ready so we play. The 4th time, i got really angry cos i knew he was doing on purpose. I scolded him. What hurts me the most is that his parents dont correct his misbehavior. They just ignore or pretending to ignore, you know, they were relaxing on the couch after lunch so they were having their break. But when they heard me raising my voice to their son, and telling my husband to get the bag ready to leave because the baby couldnt sleep in that noise, my brother's wife stood up like a soldier and said firmly, ' No, WE are leaving' and then she turned to the kids and said 'come on boys, get your shoes on, we're leaving now.' I calmly said, 'ok then fine'. Just so she doesnt think that i was feeling guilty or anything. You wont beleive this, but my own mother disapproves of my actions. Ive been trying to explain to her for over a year (dont ask me why i keep trying, i dont even know myself) why i raised my voice. I only scolded him once for heaven's sake, I didnt even touch the boy, this is ridiculous! But no she defends my brother's family. She pity the 7 year old because when he was 2 his mother went through a heart transplant operation and so his behaviour is excused. Im trapped. I know how jealous he can be because even with his own brother he used to get physically rough let alone with my 1 year old. My husband and I decided not to go on a sunday at all at my mum's. But part of me feels (or my mother is making me feel) I am the one who's preventing the family to be together every sunday as we used to do before. Its frustrating because i DO really want us to spend some hours together as a family once a week but if they dont correct their own children and/or someone does it, i get angry looks and I look as if im in the wrong and this is driving me crazy.
Is anyone experiencing this kind of problem?